Down the Rabbit Hole

“Weston, darling man, I would marry you in a minute if the reaction of the world were my only concern.”


As she spoke, Alice took a step back; several, in fact. Her voice was so full of regret that Weston was afraid, actually afraid.

“What society would think was a logical reason to refuse you before, but now, the reality of the future has made me see it differently.” She drew a deep breath and shook her head. “The real reason is far more personal.”

“Tell me.” He was angry now, and he knew it showed in his voice.

“I will.” With another breath she began. “Do you know how many times my aunt told me I was just like my mother? Just like her.” Alice closed her eyes. “The very thought terrifies me.” She put her hand on her heart. “It fills me with a soul-wrenching fear that I will commit myself to you and then make your life, our lives, a living hell.”

“Alice, I cannot imagine that happening.” Though he could see by the fear, the pain, in her eyes how real it was for her. “We love each other. Your mother’s marriage was presented as a fait accompli. I can only wonder why someone with her spirit agreed to it.”

“Wes, you’re thinking like someone from the twenty-first century. The marriage seemed ideal to her. A husband with wealth and position. A fabulous country home and a town house in London. She assumed that she would provide him with an heir and then be free to find entertainment elsewhere. No one, no one warned her that his jealousy was so easily aroused. No one suspected that every physician they consulted would tell her that after me there would be no more children. The divorce, when it came, was almost as businesslike as the marriage proposal. My father wanted an heir and would give up my respectability to attain it.”

She threw up her hands in disgust. “Based on what we saw in 2005, I agree that the rejection she experienced is ridiculous. But it is the way it is in this time and place.”

Before he could answer her, she went on.

“My whole view of this world is different, now that I have seen the future.” She grasped his arms. “Please tell me you agree that women should be free to choose the life they want.”

Weston nodded. “Have I ever denied you that, Alice? When you said no I did not press you or go to your father and have him add his support.”

“It was never you I feared. I worried endlessly about what society would think. What your sister would say. How your trustees would respond.”

“Alice, we completely agree that women should be free to choose the life they want. We agree that means you are free to choose marriage, if that’s the life you want?”

She nodded, her eyes filling with tears.

“Honestly I cannot see you as a military officer, as fine as you would look in the uniform.” His attempt to lighten the moment failed.

“Wes, I am still afraid that I will fail you.”

“I am not. I know Alice Kemp’s heart as well as I know my own, and while we may sometimes differ in our views of the world, I have no doubt we will listen and learn from each other with open minds and hearts.”

She pressed her lips together for a moment and then laughed out loud. “How can you know me so much better than I know myself?”

“So you will consider marriage?” He was afraid to say it aloud, to give words to his hope. Before she answered, Alice walked over and closed the door.

She came back to him, wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him lightly, which was just as well, since her touch was a wild distraction.

“Yes! Yes, I will marry you, my lord earl!” She leaned back in his arms. “To be married to you, to share a lifetime, is all the wonderland this Alice could ever want.” She laughed out loud again. “Oh dear heaven, it feels so wonderful to say it. To admit it is what I have always wanted.”