“There’s not much to tell, dude,” Wheeler says. “Benz and Becca came in, did their little prank—which was hilarious even by my high standards—and then split when the cops got close. Once they were gone, I pulled the camera and took off. After that, I just had to add the video file to the end of the documentary like we planned.”
“It all worked perfectly,” Ellie says. “Well, except for Stranko getting out of the tunnel.”
“Yeah, sorry about that,” Adleta says.
“No, it forced Max to rappel off the tower,” Malone says. “That was worth it.”
“Almost as good as hearing Stranko’s taken a job somewhere else,” Ellie says.
Adleta and Malone simultaneously shout, “What?”
“Yep,” Ellie says. “Stranko quit. He took a job in St. Louis.”
I don’t think I’ve ever seen Adleta as happy as he is at this moment. He throws both fists into the air like he’s just won the state championship, was named MVP, and was awarded a full ride to Duke all at the same time.
“This isn’t a joke, is it?” he says. “Because if it is—”
“It’s no joke,” I say. “He told everyone in the meeting.”
Adleta pumps his fist again, saying, “The only way this could get better is if my dad were going with him.”
“From what I’ve heard, his job is at a brand-new private school,” Wheeler says. “He’ll be opening a new building, helping establish the athletic program, everything.”
We all slow-turn to Wheeler, and it’s Malone who says what we’re all thinking.
“Wait a second. How do you know about Stranko leaving?”
Wheeler says nothing. Instead, he just gives us the most satisfied smile I’ve ever seen.
“Come on, tell us,” Ellie says.
“Because I, Dave Wheeler, recruited some H8boxers to headhunt Stranko for a principalship in St. Louis, show him around a new building under construction, and interview him twice for the job. They really made him salivate before making the offer.”
A hallelujah choir of “holy shits” and “oh my Gods” ring through the lobby.
“So it’s not a real job?” Adleta says.
“Nope.”
“And Stranko just quit this one?”
“Apparently.”
“But how could he fall for that?” Ellie asks.
“Never underestimate the power of H8box, my dear. We’re all ages, all backgrounds, and all anti-asshole. Stranko never had a chance.”
“How long ago did you set this up?” Adleta says.
“Three months ago, around the time I had the Secret Service show up. I figured if they weren’t going to get rid of him, I’d have to do it myself.”
Wheeler’s prank is evil, massively so. It’s impossible to hide my unease.
“Dude, I told you—I’m an upgrade, not a new install. This is who I am, and I’m cool with that.”
“Well, as far as I’m concerned,” Ellie says, “you win the prank off.”
Wheeler claps his hands.
“So I get the guaranteed yes?”
“Those were the rules,” Ellie says.
“Oh man,” Wheeler says. “This is way too much power for one person.”
“Especially in your case,” Adleta says.
“Nothing sexual,” Malone warns.
“Wait, that wasn’t a rule,” Wheeler says.
“Okay, but you’ll have a hard time performing if you’re in a coma.”
Wheeler holds his hands up. “Calm down,” he says. “I’m not going to ask for anything like that. I have a better request.”
“What is it?” Ellie says.
“That this doesn’t end after today,” Wheeler says. “I want us to keep doing things like this next year. We’re good at it. Maybe we can even figure out a way to make money from it. If not, no big deal. I just want us to continue. I need this in my life. It helps balance out all the boring stuff, like studying.”
When Wheeler finishes, everyone’s smiling.
“Does that work for my guaranteed yes?”
“Yeah,” Adleta says.
“Of course,” I say.
“Yes,” Malone says.
“Game on!” Ellie says. “And I have an additional prize for you.” She reaches into her pockets with both hands, fishing around before pulling out a double thumbs-up.
“Excellent,” Wheeler says. “I’ll cherish this forever.”
“Like my balls,” Ellie says and turns red.
“Wait a second,” I say. “I thought we agreed no outside help on the pranks. Doesn’t that disqualify him?”
“Oh, don’t be such a rule Nazi,” Ellie says and winks.
“Look who it is,” Adleta says, motioning with his head.
Becca and Benz are out of the office, heading for the front door, when Becca sees us. She says something to Benz and the two come over.
“I guess we should say we’re sorry,” Becca says. “I’m just glad none of us really got in trouble.”
“Yeah, except for Max getting suspended and arrested,” Malone says.
“Things got a little out of control,” Benz says.
“Is that supposed to be an apology?”
“It’s the closest any of you are going to get, Kate, so take it or leave it. I was mostly talking to Max anyhow.”
“Why not the rest of us?” Wheeler says.
“Because he’s the one we got suspended,” Benz says and turns to me. “It was nothing personal, you know. We were just protecting the club.”
“You made it personal when you put all of us on the water tower,” I say.