Don't Get Caught

“I don’t want to say anything with all these people here, but we weren’t there. You have to believe me.”


“I don’t understand,” Ellie’s mom says.

Ellie looks around the room like she wants to run away. She lets out big deflating sigh.

“We were at the baseball fields having sex. We didn’t mean for it to happen, but it did. So that’s how I know we weren’t at the school.”

Wait, what?

Tears trickle down Ellie’s cheeks. She turns away, wiping her eyes with her palms. The entire room is silent, and now it’s not just Ellie who’s feeling awkward—it’s every single one of us. I understand her reasoning, but did she really have to pull the Max and I had sex card? I mean, it certainly worked—no one would dare question her story after those dramatics—but it’s sure going to make for some awkward conversations with our parents later.

“Do you have anything else?” Mrs. B says to Becca and Benz. “Neither of you appear to deny vandalizing the statue.”

It’s one of those courtroom drama moments you see in movies where everyone is waiting for the defendant to lose control and confess his crimes. But neither Becca nor Benz is talking because they know they’re trapped. The video eliminates any realistic denial. They’re busted dead to rights. I wonder if there will be a school-wide field trip to attend their execution at the state penitentiary. The tension in the room continues to rise as everyone stares at Becca and Benz, waiting for some sort of response. Just as I don’t think the rising pressure will splinter the windows, there’s a knock at the door. Hale looks to Mrs. B for approval before opening it.

It’s Mr. Watson.

“I think I can be some help,” he says.

“This doesn’t concern you,” Stranko says. “If we need character witnesses, we’ll let you know.”

“Do yourself a favor and keep your mouth closed, Dwayne. I’m about to give you what you’ve wanted for years.”

Watson crosses the room and stands behind Becca and Benz, putting his hands on both of their shoulders.

He says, “I’ll save you lots of trouble here, Elaine. These students aren’t the Chaos Club. I am.”

? ? ?

Watson might as well have hit all of us with sledgehammers.

“I confess to all of it,” Watson says. “The statue, the cows on the roof, Stranko’s My Little Pony–pink office, everything going back all those years. If anyone is to be punished, it should be me. I’m the guilty one.”

“You want us to seriously believe you single-handedly carried out those pranks?” Stranko says.

“Well, of course not, Dwayne. Don’t be ridiculous. I have my soldiers, but they’re only following my orders. I suppose one could argue they have free will and could’ve chosen not to join when I invited them, but teenagers are rebellious by nature, and an opportunity like this is just too tempting. Trust me, I should know. I’ve been directing their pranks for almost forty years now, even back to when you were a student and you were one of the many victims covered in bird droppings.”

“Why would you do all that?” Hale asks.

“Let’s just say I believe the world is a much more interesting place with a little chaos thrown in. Admittedly though, things got out of control this year. I apologize for that.”

“You’re finished here,” Stranko says smugly. “I’m going to make sure you’re not only fired but also—”

Mrs. B holds up a hand.

“There will be plenty of time to discuss that later,” she says. “Right now, we need to deal with the issue at hand, these students.”

“Correct,” Mr. Watson says, “and I’m here to say they’re only guilty of following my directions.”

“And these are your only two”—and here Stranko makes quote fingers in the air—“soldiers this year?”

Watson nods.

“Not Max?” my mom says.

“No, not Max, although from what I’ve seen today, he would’ve been an excellent addition,” Watson says and smiles at me. “Mr. Benz and Ms. Yancey were my two club members this year, and they served me well. But I took advantage of their youth, and it’s brought them all this trouble. So if you’re going to blame anyone, Elaine, blame me. I talked them into it, and they couldn’t resist.”

Becca says, “That’s not true. We—”

Watson cuts her off. “You’re a kind soul, Becca, but there’s no need to defend me.”

Mrs. B says, “John, I think this is a discussion we should finish later, maybe when you have union representation with you.”

“I understand, Elaine. I apologize for the trouble I’ve helped cause today. But we certainly had some fun in our years, didn’t we?”

They exchange smiles before Watson leaves the room. He doesn’t walk like someone who’s probably just lost the job he’s had for the last thirty-whatever years, but he has, and I’m the reason for that. Way to go, Max.

? ? ?

“So what does this mean for the kids?” Becca’s mom says.

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