Disorderly Conduct (The Academy #1)

“It means I love you, too, Charlie.”

She looks a little shocked at having said the words out loud, but it does nothing to lessen the impact of total, blinding rapture. I don’t even think my feet are touching the floor, but I manage to trap her against the wall, my hands flattened on the cinderblock above her head. “Get out of town.”

“I do.” Her laugh is gorgeous and watery, her eyes shining. “For a long time. Even before we tried to be friends—”

I shoot forward and snag her mouth in a kiss, but a dull note of panic starts to beat in my chest. I’m kissing her half because she loves me, half because the words before we tried to be friends just sent me screaming back into reality. The speed dating, the fire alarm at the tapas place, the lies I told. She knows none of it. Would she still love me if she knew? Or would she look at me as if I betrayed her? Did I?

Yeah. Jesus. I did.

As if I can erase the moronic things I did to ruin her noble plans, I press Ever back against the wall and give her everything I have to offer. Every ounce of feeling in my body, head to toe. Our mouths are the hungriest they’ve ever been, because there’s no holding back when you love someone. When they know it. Feel it. These are things I’m learning on the fly, and I can’t believe I was ever scared of this. Terror is being without this.

My tongue makes promises to her and she understands, responds with a whimper. I didn’t even have a second to savor winning her back, before the prospect of losing her again hits me. Hits me hard, like a spike between the shoulder blades. But I’m a man who’s scared of losing his woman, so I do what I’m driven toward. I try to distract from the oncoming pain with my body. To give her something to remember when she wants to murder me. I stroke her between the legs with my bulge, dragging it up and back, nudging her onto her toes. All the while, my lips pry apart her swollen, wet ones, giving her my breath, licks of my tongue.

“I love you.” My mouth races along the underside of her chin, my hands climbing the backs of her thighs. “Oh God, I love you. Just try to be patient and understanding with me. Can you do that?”

She nods, her face glowing. But she has no idea what I’m talking about. Not yet. “You’re going to come to my place when your father is better. You’ll stay the night.” Her eyes flicker. “We’ll take it slow, but you’ll stay, won’t you?”

Jesus, I can’t believe she still doubts me. “I don’t want to sleep without you. Ever again. And fuck taking it slow. I want to meet your mother. Want to charm her and explain that I’ll be the one you count on, just like she hoped for. I want clothes and a toothbrush at your place. I want keys. And I want the people in your building to buzz me in when I forget my key, because they know I’m your boyfriend. I want to walk you home from concerts and dance to our song when it comes up on shuffle. You and me, Ever. I want it to be you. And me.”

Her breath whooshes out against my lips. “Me, too. I want all those things. I feel like I’ve wanted them forever, but I didn’t know until you said them.”

I would love to go on standing there forever, making her promises. But there’s no option but to tell her what I’ve done. To let her know I disregarded the importance of fulfilling her mother’s wishes and tried to make her my fuck buddy. I hate myself right now. I do, so I try to bury it all inside her. Lifting her against the wall and molding our bodies together. There’s a sliver of clarity left in my mind, so I know I can’t take Ever in this hallway, but I can remind her we’re so good together. Maybe it’ll help. Maybe.

“Charlie.” She gasps when my teeth nip into her neck. “I know you’re upset, but . . .” I squeeze her ass and she turns pliant, going limp between me and the wall. “I think we need to get back to the waiting room. I’m not going anywhere. We’re not going anywhere. There’s time for everything.”

Now or never. I press my face into her hair. “Ever . . .”

“Charlie.” My brother’s voice finds me from around the corner. “The doctor is coming out to speak with us. He’s bringing us in to see Dad, too.”

Worry for my father blasts back to the forefront, but revealing my treachery to Ever is there, too, clashing with it. Blackening my vision. She’s there, though, stroking the sides of my face, kissing me hard on the mouth. Loving me, grounding me. “Hey, that sounds like good news. They wouldn’t bring you in to see him if things were getting worse, right?” Another sweet kiss on my cheek. “Go. I’ll be here when you come back.”

I pull away, but I’m tempted to bring her with me. “Please be here.”

“Why would I be anywhere else?” She covers her mouth a moment, then drops her hands to reveal an expression of pure, flushed happiness. “I love you.”

Dear God, please let that love stay strong through what comes next.





Chapter 24





Ever


Charlie loves me. I love him back. We said the words. We meant them.

I’m floating on a cloud of purple smoke back to the waiting room, probably with eyes the shape of hearts. There is a lessening of tension at the nurses’ station that bolsters my theory that Charlie’s father is going to be okay. Thank God. I’ve never seen Charlie looking more haunted than the moment I arrived, like everything he knew had been shaken. I’m going to be there for him. He . . . needs me to be there. I still can’t believe it. We started out as two people who didn’t want anything serious and now, we want it all.

Before I push open the door, I stop to collect myself. I swear, my heart is lodged somewhere between my throat and breastbone, pounding out of control. This morning, I woke up thinking the man I love was lost to me. He wasn’t, though. He came roaring back, and I realize now I should have had faith. I wouldn’t love a man who could give me up so easily.

He didn’t give me up at all, really, had he? No, he became my friend. He listened and understood why I wanted to find something serious. He’d confided in me, too. And now we are stronger for it. Lovers, friends . . . boyfriend and girlfriend. Maybe the attempt to strictly be friends had been a little far-fetched for two people who shared such a strong attraction, but Charlie had stuck with it. Showing up and supporting me, even though it couldn’t have been easy to watch me try to date. Try being the operative word. I was never meant to spend a single minute in another man’s company, though, and—

My hand flies up and smacks my forehead.

Reve. I forgot about the date.

I push through the waiting room doors and find my purse on a low, gray table, someone obviously having put it there after I dropped it. Danika sends me a slow wave, one corner of her mouth ticking up. “I assume from your smeared lipstick the talk went well,” she says, flipping the page of her magazine. “Atta boy, Charlie.”