Disillusioned (Swept Away, #2)

“How could I have told you David was my brother? When would have been the right time for that?” Jakob kissed me hard, making it impossible for me to respond. Mentally I knew that there would have been no good time. If I’d known whom I was with, I would have panicked, perhaps run into the jungle. Maybe I’d still be stuck on the island, lost somewhere. “There are so many things you don’t know, Bianca. When we arrived on the island, I had one thought in my mind, and that was to find out the truth about you and your family. I wanted to exact revenge for—”

“You wanted to ‘exact revenge’ on me?” My jaw dropped. “Is this a bad joke? You think you can come and tell me you wanted revenge on me while you try and seduce me on the side? How stupid do you think I am?” My voice was loud and I tried to control it. I didn’t want him to see just how disdainful I was of his responses.

“Bianca, there are things in our parents’ pasts. There are things that your mother did and your father did that cannot be changed. Things that ruined people’s lives. I just wanted to get to the bottom of it all.”

“And you think I should pay for that?” I froze as I remembered something he’d once told me. “Was that why you said something about children paying for the sins of their fathers?”

“That’s how life goes, Bianca.” He grabbed my shoulders. “But I was wrong to play God. I was wrong to just believe—”

“Believe what?” I cut him off angrily. “What do you believe?”

“I believe that I want to touch you.” He fingers pressed into my skin. “I believe that every night since we’ve been apart, I’ve craved your touch. I’ve gone crazy thinking about what I did to you. You have to believe that I . . .” He grabbed my face. “Look at me, Bianca. I need you to look at me.”

“Why? Why should I believe you? What have you done for me that should make me trust you? You’re in my fucking apartment, Jakob. How did you get in here? You’re still sending me freaking messages trying to scare me.”

“What?” He shook his head and his eyes narrowed. “I haven’t sent you any messages.”

“And you changed your name on your letter from Jakob to Mattias.”

“What?” He froze, his blue eyes taking on a fiery light. “I didn’t change anything.”

“Then who?” I shrugged. “You’re the only one who seems to be watching me and breaking into my apartment like some sort of stalker.”

“I’m trying to protect you.”

“Protect me from what? I don’t need protection from anyone but you.” I pushed him away from me. “I want you to leave. Now.”

“You don’t want me to leave.”

“Yes, I do.”

“Do you still not trust me, Bianca? After everything? After I let you go?”

“Why did you let me go? After all that? Why?” I implored him. “I just want to understand.” My entire body was tense as I waited for a response. Calm down, Bianca, I lectured myself inwardly. Be cool, sexy, intriguing. Don’t be that girl. I can’t be that girl, if I want my plan to work.

“I promise I will tell you everything soon.” He walked toward the window and looked out. “You should close your curtains. Anyone can look in here.” He turned toward me, his brows furrowed. “You look very sexy. Did you dress up for David?”

“I dressed up for me.”

“Not a look I’m used to seeing on you.” He smiled. “I miss the messy hair and dirt-streaked face.”

“Whatever.”

“I miss watching you walking around in my shirt, your cute little ass playing hide-and-seek with me.” He took a step toward me. “I miss you sleeping curled up next to me, playing with my cock in your sleep.”

“Jakob.” I stared at him, mesmerized by the look in his eyes as he stopped in front of me. “No.” I said it softly, my hand touching his and then falling to the side.

“I miss the feel of your skin against mine.” His hand dropped to my leg and I felt his fingers running up the inside of my trembling thigh. He took another step toward me and kissed me lightly. “I miss every part of you, Bianca. Every single part of you.” He kissed me gently at first and I couldn’t stop myself from kissing him back. Oh, how I’d missed the feel of his lips against mine. How I’d missed the gentle roughness of his fingers as he caressed my skin. Focus, Bianca, I commanded myself. Have some fun, but remember the ulterior motive and goal. You want him to think you’re putty in his hands. You want him to think the sex is so good that you just can’t resist him. You want him to think all he has to do is touch you and everything will be okay. That’s how you’ll get some power and information. A part of me felt dirty for playing the game, but the other part of me felt high on life. Why shouldn’t I be pleasured while I played him? Men did it to women all the time.