Dishing the Dirt

“I didn’t. But the reporters told me there had been a murder in the village, so I winged it.”


Agatha looked sourly at his weak face and gelled hair, and at his jeans carefully torn at the knees, and said, “You look as if you’ve crawled out of a young offenders’ institute. Go upstairs and wash that muck off, or you’re not staying!”

“That’s the trouble with you burying yourself in Peasantville,” said Roy. “You’re no longer trendy. Oh, I’m going.”

“I think,” said Toni, “that now we are here, Simon and I should do a tour of the gardens and see if we can find that wretched flower anywhere. We can split up and—”

“Go together,” said Agatha. “I don’t want either of you getting killed.”





Chapter Six

“Are you sure we shouldn’t split up?” asked Toni uneasily. Simon had been relentlessly pursuing her for a long time.

Simon’s jester’s face crinkled up in a smile. “Relax. I’m spoken for.”

“Who? What’s happened?”

“I’m engaged,” said Simon triumphantly.

“Who is she?”

“Detective Sergeant Ruby Carson.”

“The one from Oxford?”

“That’s her. I can’t believe my luck. I finally got her out on a date last night. I said, joking, you know, ‘Marry me!’ And she said, ‘Yes.’”

“Was she serious?”

“Yes. I’m going to meet her children tonight.”

“Children? Is she divorced?”

“Yes, she’s got two kids, Pearl, who’s five, and Jonathan, nine.”

Toni looked at him uneasily. “How old is she?”

“Early forties.”

“You’re early twenties, Simon. Oh, please don’t rush into things.”

“I’m in love,” said Simon stubbornly. “If you’re going to be nasty about it, I don’t want to talk about it anymore. Let’s look for this damned plant.”

“You know,” said Toni slowly, “before we start here, what about running over to Ancombe and having a look at Gwen Simple’s garden? I think, because Agatha can’t ever get anywhere with her, she’s forgotten that she should really be our prime suspect.”

As Toni drove the short distance to Ancombe, she worried about Simon. Agatha was bad enough, falling into obsession with one man or another, but surely Simon was just as bad. He had claimed to love her more than anyone in the world before he joined the army and left for Afghanistan, only to return engaged to a female sergeant, whom he then ditched at the altar, and then had begun to pursue her again. Like Agatha, there was something not quite emotionally grown up about Simon.

She could not imagine Simon as a stepfather. She remembered Ruby Carson to be, yes, beautiful, but highly efficient and, Toni was sure, highly ambitious.

*

At that very moment, Chief Superintendent Alistair White was admiring Ruby’s naked curves as she climbed out of bed. “I’d better collect the children from Mum,” she said. “Oh, I won’t be seeing you for a while.”

“Why? Nobody knows about us.”

“I know. But I’m engaged.”

“You’re what! Who to?”

“A young fellow called Simon Black who works for Agatha Raisin.”

“Why on earth…?”

Ruby came back and sat on the edge of the bed. “He works for that Raisin agency and that bloody woman has solved more cases than I’ve had hot dinners. Young Simon will keep me in the loop as to what she’s found out. Then goodbye. But in the meantime, we’ll cool it. Anyway, God forbid your missus should find out.”

“You’re a hard woman, Sergeant.”

Ruby grinned. “Now, inspector sounds so much nicer, doesn’t it?”

*

Gwen Simple lived in a bungalow in the shadow of the church in Ancombe.

“Oh, good,” said Toni, as they got out of the car. “She’s got a ‘Gardens Open’ sticker on her gate. They must be having an open day as well.”

“She’ll think we’re still chasing her,” said Simon.

“Too bad,” said Toni. “There are a good few people in her garden. Can’t see her. Come along.” Toni gave him a coloured photograph of wolfsbane.