“Where?” I growl. I want to attack him, rip him apart with my bare hands. I left him with her for one night and this happens. How could he even think about taking her to a concert? Is he demented?
“She woke up,” he tells me. “But she’s sleeping again. She overexerted herself.”
“No fucking kidding, Paul!” I shout. “You took her to a goddamn concert!”
People passing by us in the hallway stop and stare at us before continuing on their way. “Clara,” Marcus intervenes, stepping in front of me. “The doctor said it could have happened regardless of the concert or not.”
“You should have called and asked me first!” I yell at Paul, ignoring Marcus.
“It came together at the last minute. I didn’t think it would be a big deal. She was so . . . happy,” Paul explains.
I let out a frustrated groan. “I should have known better than to leave her overnight with you.”
Paul’s face contorts from guilt to anger. “And what the hell does that mean?”
“It means that I shouldn’t have trusted you!”
“Guys,” Marcus says, as calmly as he can.
“Are you serious?” Paul booms.
“You two need to quiet down or we’re going to have to call security,” a nurse tells us.
“You could have said no, Paul. But nooooo,” I rant dramatically, flailing my hands. “Saying no might make Neena upset with you. God forbid.”
“You’re right, Clara,” he mocks me. “I should have denied her a chance to meet her favorite singer and see her favorite band in concert. Because every dying kid wants to sit at home knowing they missed a chance to do something they could have. You might be that big of an asshole, but not me.”
“Oh, you’re an asshole, all right,” I assure him.
By this point, my friends have walked in to see the show. “Clara.” Vanessa says my name, calmly, as she grabs my arms.
I pull free ignoring the stunned looks both she and Ally make. “Maybe we should take her hiking in Brazil,” I jeer sarcastically. “Why not? She can handle it.”
Paul groans in obvious frustration. “This is why she can’t tell you anything,” he spats. “You’re so over the top.”
“Neena tells me everything,” I say, with offense.
“Oh yeah?” he questions, stepping toward me so I have to look up to meet his line of sight. “Did she tell you how she wants her funeral?”
I pinch my lips together. Neena told me once she wanted to be cremated. I hated that thought. I couldn’t imagine not having a place to visit her. Burning her remains seemed so final. I just . . . couldn’t talk about it. I ended up crying and she never brought it back up.
“No? And why is that? Because you lose your shit over everything. I took her to a concert tonight. She was more alive and happy than I’ve seen her in months. So screw you if you want to make me out to be a bad parent, but I’m not sorry I took her.”
“If you want to risk your own life doing dangerous shit, Paul, that’s on you.” I point a firm finger at him. “But not her. You do not take chances with her!”
He stands straight and shakes his head as if I’m the most ridiculous person he’s ever spoken with. “Clara,” his tone is filled with angered calmness. “She’s dying. I wanted her to live for a night. Really live. I didn’t put her on a motorcycle. I didn’t take her bungee jumping. I took my kid to a concert. Something any parent with a normal and healthy kid would do and not think twice about it.”
“You put her at risk!”
“And so what if I did! You ask her if she regrets it. Even now, with how shitty she feels, you ask her if she regrets going to that concert. You know what she’ll say?” he growls. “No. Because she did something that made her happy; that made her feel alive. Maybe you should try it sometime.”
“What does that mean?”
“You own a fucking skydiving business and you’ve never even jumped. Thirteen years and you haven’t jumped once. Just because you don’t take chances because you’re always playing it safe doesn’t mean our daughter is that way. Neena knows how precious time is. She doesn’t want to lie in bed for all of her last days afraid to go out and do what she wants.” With that, he storms off down the hall.
Vanessa squeezes me. “He’s just upset.”
Now it’s Marcus’ turn to look up at me. “You okay?”
“Yeah,” I sniffle. “Where is she?”
Marcus takes me to her room. Neena looks so tiny in the big hospital bed. She’s got tubing in her nose for oxygen and an IV for fluids. She doesn’t wake as I sit on her bed and take her hand in mine.
“Mommy’s here, baby,” I whisper. “Mommy’s here.”