So he’s back to calling me Georgie again? That’s fucking news to me. I’m suddenly released and my arms flail for balance.
“Go back to your fucking room,” Sloane orders.
“No.” I go to the sofa and flop down next to Maitland, wrinkling my nose at the scent of sex. “I’m not going anywhere near that room ever again.” That’s kind of overdramatic, but it’s keeping his attention. Any moment, the blood vessels popping from his temples and neck will explode.
“If you force me to make you go to your room, you’ll be fucking sorry.”
I snort. “What are you going to do? Lock me in a room? Withhold food? Keep me in the dark? Or just be a general dickhead because you’re so fucking good at it?”
Rage sweeps over his face. If that hadn’t registered a moment before he lunged for me, he would’ve caught me. Instead, I spring to the side, knocking over the end table, sending it—and—me crashing to the floor. I’m only glad just condoms are on the table and not anything glass.
Maitland and Kiln—now wearing pants—grab Sloane and hold him back, while Adam and Quint help me to my feet, placing their bodies in front of mine. From behind the human walls, I tell Sloane exactly what’s on my mind, adlibbing most of the shit as I go along.
“I’m sorry I ever met you. You’re nothing like who I thought you were. You’re moody and mean and one-dimensional and just plain fucked up. I’m sorry your sister died. Believe me I am so very, very sorry you couldn’t drag her from that pool—” Or wherever—“but I’m not her. You can’t save me. I was fucking lost when you found me and I’ll be lost when you decide to throw me away. Whatever else goes on, the one thing that isn’t, is me staying with you anymore.”
There are a few curses and more grunts, but Sloane frees himself and knocks through my protection. He reaches out, then pulls back, closing his eyes and balling his fists.
“You want to fuck Kiln?” he grates.
I fuck up my chances of an attempt to make Sloane jealous and scowl at Kiln, growling at his half-smile. “No and he doesn’t want to fuck me. His dick just aims at the most available pussy to get into.”
Kiln barks laughter, but Sloane isn’t so amused. When is he ever?
He cups my face between his thumb and index finger. “You’re right,” he admits. “I want to save you. I don’t want you to become another statistic or to get a call that you’ve Od’d. I want to know you’re happy and healthy and thriving somewhere. What do you need to know about me to help yourself? Not one fucking thing. It doesn’t matter what compelled me to look after you. Does it? I want to save you from yourself when no one saved Steffie. Or me.”
He caresses my cheek and it’s the first tenderness he’s shown me in days. I lean into his touch and tip my head against his hand. He sighs and embraces me, kissing the top of my head.
Is this a turning point or another false start?
Sloane
Georgie is soft in my arms, breaking down my resistance and defenses.
Bullshit.
The sight of her with Kiln is what did it. I can’t take it any longer. Fighting my attraction to her is futile, as long as she’s around me. I don’t even have to see her. Knowledge is supposedly power, but, in my case, knowledge is temptation.
Other than returning her to her fucked up family, I don’t know what else to do but give in. Days ago, the thought crossed my mind that I’d have the most control over her if I took her as my lover.
But what is a lover?
I’ve had girlfriends, trysts, submissives, hookups, booty calls, and physical expressions from my fans. I’ve never had a fucking lover. My parents were lovers. They loved each other and confided in each other. But they were fucking toxic to anyone outside of their circle of love.
Georgie isn’t going to respond to me any other way. I’ve pushed her too far. The way I’ve treated her for the past days hasn’t given her structure or discipline. It’s hurt her worse.
Besides, she’s right. On impulse, I arranged to have a random fan attend my concert and return to my hotel room with her almost within hearing distance. The woman never expected to fuck me. She was just hoping to get a glimpse—maybe, an autograph—and awaited our arrival.
I close my eyes to shut out Kiln’s ugly glare. She’s just a means to an end for him, a way to repay me for all the harm I’ve caused. But he threw the gauntlet down first. He’s still waiting for me to fuck up. However, I’ve inadvertently bought myself time by canceling the Midwestern leg of our tour. We have to recoup those losses.
The scent of Georgie’s hair and skin envelope me and I bury my nose in the silken strands. They’re damp with sweat, and heat is escaping her head in waves.
I’ve fought many, many battles over my life. To date, I’ve only lost one. My sister. It galls me that a girl is bringing me so low. I’m better than this. I’m better than wanting to open up to a girl. Once open, my soul will be laid bare and I won’t ever be able to release her.