“It’s okay, I just… I’m not used to it, that’s all.”
“I can see that, Jess. If it helps, I think you’re a pretty tough woman. I just can’t help wanting to take care of you.”
How does he make me go from turned on, to pissed off, to mushy inside in the space of five minutes? For want of anything to say, I bite into the breakfast muffin. I stare at the city below, imagine the pollution and the heavy traffic, the tourists crowding the streets and the noise. Up here, with Hunter, it’s a world away. I like the excitement of living in London most of the time—it’s far removed from the small town I grew up in—but sometimes it feels too big for me. It seemed like the best place to get lost and I knew it a little from having worked in a couple of studios here, but I’m not sure it will ever feel like home.
However, here and now I’m more comfortable than I’ve been in years. Is it the setting or the company? Who am I kidding? We finish up our food in silence—all awkwardness gone. I have no idea what I’m doing here. Is it a date? Two friends who just happen to keep kissing each other?
Hunter throws his wrapper in the bin, leans back and stretches his arm across the bench behind me. I can’t resist a smile at the cheesy move.
“You back to work tomorrow?” he asks.
“Yeah.” I hold back a sigh. Back to normal. Back to working all hours. This break from my normal routine might be nice but it can’t last. I can’t help thinking I should make the most of it. Enjoy a few hours with Hunter then gently tell him that’s it for us. I’ve got too much on my plate, I’ll say.
His fingers rest lightly on my shoulder. How I can feel them through the thick leather jacket, I don’t know, but I could swear they are burning through it. “You never did say why you called.”
“When?”
“When I had my migraine?”
“Oh, uh, looking for some advice I guess.”
“I’ll do my best to help, you know. I wouldn’t want you to lose your mum’s house.”
His Adam’s apple works and he remains silent for a moment. “Banking, huh? What made you choose that?”
Warmth seeps into my face. “It sounds geeky but I’m good with numbers. I didn’t know what else to do and there’s always jobs in banking. The accounting course wasn’t too long or expensive so I decided to go for it.”
“Sounds like you have it all figured out.” He glances at me, that odd half smile on his lips—the one that confuses the hell out of me.
“I don’t think I have anything figured out. I wish I did.”
“I don’t think anyone does.” He snorts. “I sure don’t.”
“I don’t believe that.”
“What do you mean?” He turns to face me.
“You’re so in control. I bet you’ve always known exactly where you’re going and what you’re doing.”
Hunter stares at me for a moment, gaze boring into mine. The oddest flicker of uncertainty flickers in his gaze but he releases a low chuckle. “I used to think I was in control but recently… I’m not so sure. Don’t forget I’m close to losing my home.”
Guilt strikes me. It doesn’t matter that I’m not the one taking his house from him. I hope I can do something to help. He’s a good man. Hunter definitely doesn’t deserve to lose everything.
“So what did you want to do as a kid if you didn’t want to be a…” He waves his hand looking for a word.
“Customer Adviser.”
“Yeah.”
“I don’t know. Lawyer, writer, teacher, cop... tooth fairy,” I add with a grin.
“I could see you in a little tutu.” He shakes his head.
“What?”
“Let’s just say I never thought I’d be fantasizing about the tooth fairy.”
“F-fantasizing?”
His chest heaves, as if surrendering to something. “Yeah. Goddamn, what are you doing to me, Jess?” Hunter twists to face me fully, the hand on my shoulder eases me closer and sweeps aside a strand of hair from my face.
Rough fingertips on my forehead stop me from breathing but someone cycles past and it’s over. His hand hovers not far from my cheek and he curls it into a fist before dropping it to his side. I tamp down the disappointment. Just because I want to enjoy my day with Hunter, doesn’t mean I want him to spend the whole day kissing me—well, maybe I do—but I don’t need to make saying goodbye to him any harder than it already will be.
I stare at my hands, embarrassed by how pathetic I am—how pathetic I must seem. Imagine what he must think. Jess is so lonely, so tragic she’ll take any attention she can get. I guess I can’t blame him for trying to be noble. Who’d want to kiss me anyway?
“So tooth fairy huh?”
“Yeah….”
“What did you parents think of that?”
I shrug. “My memories are pretty fuzzy—mostly limited to holidays and stuff like that.”
“What about your… step parents?”
“I…” I peer at him. “What does it matter?”