“So why would you remind your mother of your father’s death?”
“Dad stopped living after Lewis died. He held me responsible and he was right.”
“But you said it was an accident. How could your father blame you?”
“You don’t know the facts, Frankie, so you can’t judge. But believe me, if my own father knew it was my fault, then you should accept that, too.”
“How did your mother feel?” her voice was cautious, she didn’t want to aggravate him but she was so certain she could do something to convince him the accident had not been his fault.
“Mum sees me and is reminded of what she’s lost. It’s easier for both of us if I don’t visit any more. We exchange cards at Christmas and birthdays.”
“She’d want to know you’ve been hurt.”
“How would you know that, Frankie? You’re not a mother, you couldn’t possibly know the pain my mother has gone through or even begin to guess whether she’d want to know I’m injured.” Pain, frustration, and the fact she was prising the lid off his emotions box made his words clipped and harsh. “Besides, I’m fine now. There’s nothing to tell her.”
“I still think she should be told.” Frankie’s stubborn streak grew wider, refusing to let this conversation go.
“I forbid you to tell her.” Lucas knew the direction Frankie’s mind was taking. If she thought telephoning his mother was the right thing to do, she wouldn’t hesitate.
“You what, Lucas?” She’d turned from caring, compassionate, to stubborn and unyielding in moments. “You forbid me? Really?”
“She doesn’t need to be upset any more than she has been. She’s had a lifetime of heartbreak already.” He hoped honesty would dissuade her from making the call.
“It’s too late.” Frankie finished the last stitch and wiped away the remainder of blood from his face. “You’re done.”
“Too late?” Lucas asked the obvious question even though he had no desire to hear the answer.
“I already called your mother.”
“You had no damn right.”
“You were a patient, I had your phone, and I called your ICE number.”
Frankie referred to the number he had stored on his phone as ‘In Case of Emergency’. He wouldn’t even have had that on there, but his employers insisted upon it.
“Yesterday was the anniversary of my brother’s death.”
“Yes,” her voice softened. “She said.”
“She didn’t need to know about me on top of everything else.”
“She said she was glad I’d called, that she didn’t hear anything about your life, that it was nice to know where you were and that you were going to be okay.”
Lucas looked away. He couldn’t bear the earnest look on Frankie’s face. Her compassionate nature was going to try and patch up the void she had decided was there between himself and his mother. The quality he’d most admired about her—her understanding of her patients and their needs—was coming back to bite him in the ass.
But she was wrong on this one. Totally wrong. What had been broken between him and his mother could never be restored because Lewis would always be dead. His father had drunk himself into an early grave and that wouldn’t change either.
“Enough now, Frankie.”
“She said she wants you to go home when you’re back in England. So she can look after you while you’ve got your cast on.” Frankie lifted his chin and grinned. “She said unless she’d be treading on my toes and I’d be caring for you.”
“It’s a broken leg.” Lucas grabbed the crutches to prove his point. “I don’t need anyone to care for me. I’ll do fine living my life on my own. I always have.”
“Actually, Lucas, that’s not true. You’re not doing fine by yourself. You’re lonely, holding yourself responsible for an accident. That’s not living a life. It’s existing.”
“Okay.” He used the crutches to skip away from her a couple of paces. “I’m going to hope you didn’t embarrass my mother or upset her further by asking her about the accident. I can’t be near you anymore. I’m going to go and exist over here and see what Jeremy needs me to do.”
Frankie stood her ground, refusing to allow Lucas’s words to dissuade her from what she believed. His steadfast determination that he was responsible for his brother’s death, and so didn’t deserve to be happy, was wearing on her nerves.
Maybe it was because she was in love with him, deeply and irrevocably. All the time he wouldn’t allow himself to be happy meant she couldn’t be happy either, because she was certain he’d follow through with his decision to break off all contact between them when they returned to England. He needed her for the introduction to her father, but she couldn’t see that he would want her to be involved in his charity—even on the periphery.