We pull into Club Zero’s valet area and as the valet opens my door he looks straight up my skirt. “Good evening and welcome,” he greets me.
We’re able to bypass the line because Jason’s family knows the owner. Once inside we make our way through the sea of bodies, to the VIP tables toward the back. We all scoot into the high back circular booth and order our drinks from the scantily clad server who eyes our men admiringly. I watch the guys to see who checks out her cleavage and not a single one does. They’re behaving like such gentlemen with class and decorum, how very impressive of them. I Need Your Love by Elle Goulding starts and I have to dance.
“Jason,” I call across the table and point to the dance floor. He gives me a smile and we walk out to the dance floor and work our way out to the middle. There are lots of hot bodies out here, and Jason gets up close and personal as he grinds on me and I shake what I’ve got. His hands are on me, touching me everywhere and I love it. It’s so dark in here, no one notices when his hand is up my dress and into my panties. He’s my naughty boy.
“Stop,” I yell into his ear and he can barely hear me as a wicked smile plays across his gorgeous face and I kiss it off. Our tongues dance along with our bodies. My hand goes to his crotch and just as I suspected he has a raging hard on. I look at him and laugh. The song changes to a slow one. And he pulls me close so I can now feel his arousal pressing against my belly.
“I love you.”
Did I just hear right? I’m not sure if he just said he loves me. I don’t react, I play like I didn’t hear him, I’m really not sure if that’s what he said, plus I’m not ready to say it back. Why you ask? Grant still crosses my mind from time to time, that’s why. I keep my eyes closed. The song ends and we pull apart and I won’t make eye contact with Jason. I know, I’m acting weird, I just didn’t expect it, that’s all. He leads me by the hand back to our table.
“I need a drink,” I say once we get back to the table and sit down. Only Lexi and Troy are seated, the others must be on the dance floor. I can feel Jason looking at me curiously. To be honest, I’m freaking out a little.
“I need to go to the ladies room,” I announce to the table standing up.
“I’ll go with you,” Lexi says, standing up too.
“This is a cool club. Are you having fun?” Lexi asks as we’re standing in front of the mirror checking our hair and make-up.
“I’m not sure if I heard right, but I think Jason just told me he loved me on the dance floor,” I sigh out.
“Wow, why are you acting less than thrilled about it?” Lexi questions.
“I’m not ready to say it back,” I clip out.
“Oh,” is all Lexi says.
“I still think about my secret lover,” I say, turning and looking her straight in the eye.
“Have you had any contact with him?”
“No, he stopped texting and calling me,” I say, although little does she know I see him practically every day in class.
“You’re over him, right?”
“I guess,” I reply softly.
“That didn’t sound very convincing,” Lexi says.
“I know, but it’s definitely over. It has to be,” I say wistfully, but I feel a twinge of something inside me. I think it’s a pain in my heart.
“You need to follow your heart Clarissa,” sweet Lexi tells me.
“It’s not that simple for me. Let’s head back to the table.” I say, scooting her towards the door. Once we return to the table, Jason and Troy are standing up and they signal for us to go dance. I get out there and get lost in the music and have a good time with Jason and my friends. By 1:00 in the morning we are starting to yawn and ready to call it a night. Deena’s going to stay at Ken’s tonight, so Jason can stay at my place. I rarely ever want to spend the night at that frat house, especially since I know Jason slept with Nicole in that bed, gross.
I slip into my nighty and crawl into bed and Jason strips himself nude and squeezes into my twin size bed with me.
“That was fun, did you have a good time?” he asks.
“I always have a good time when I’m dancing,” I reply. He tips my chin towards him and kisses me deeply as he moves on top of me.
“Did you hear what I said to you on the dance floor tonight?” he asks softly. I was hoping he wouldn’t.
“I wasn’t sure I heard right,” I reply.
“You did, and your body tensed. Your whole demeanor changed for the rest of the night,” he says and I can hear the hurt in his voice.
“I’m sorry Jason, I’m close, but just not quite ready to say it back,” I say as I caress his face with my hand.
“No need to apologize. If you’re not feeling it yet, you’re not feeling it. I won’t push it,” he says. Now I feel bad.
“I care deeply for you and I love being with you,” is the best I can offer right now.
“I can be happy with you caring deeply for me, for the time being,” he says, offering me a smile. I can’t say those three words until I know in my heart that I mean it. He rolls onto his back and pulls me close. No more words are said between us as we drift off to sleep.