"You pissed on the side of the building because your drink wasn't strong enough. That's a douche move and you know it," I explained to Leo. "I liked that place and now we can't go back because we will always be known as the hockey players who pissed on the building."
"Well, it was justified in my mind." Leo took a shot at the goal during warm-ups.
"Your drunk mind maybe," Travis added, circling around to get back in line for his next shot. I pointed at him, nodding my head as if he had the correct answer.
Travis looked over at me when Leo skated away. "Hey, man, you fuck that girl yet?"
I glared. "Stop asking. What happened to you last night?"
"I ended up naked in the lobby wearing red hooker boots."
"Good night?" I said, trying to control my laughter.
He surprised me when he nodded. "Fucking awesome night."
"What happened to Remy after I left?"
"Ah, man," Travis groaned, leaning on his stick. "That fucker left with that Kari chick that was all over him. Turns out he bagged both her and the one with the black dress…together."
"No shit."
"Shit."
Remy was a douche to women, but fuck if they didn't love him. They knew it from the start, maybe even liked it a little, and they accepted him for what he was: a whore. I wasn't like that, though, and I didn't talk about girls like this. They did.
"My dick was red," Remy said, hearing most of our conversation and needing to add his own details. "I'm guessing one of them might have been a virgin."
"Probably the one with the black dress…Laura?" Leo suggested. "Anyway, she looked like she hadn't been cherry picking yet."
"I guess so." Remy shrugged, his attention turning to the sound of the whistle. Drills were beginning. "Either that or I was fuckin' a chick with issues."
After practice, I had plans to take Ami to dinner before we started the next series and I left for San Jose. This time she was coming with me. Just like I'd asked her to move in with me, I asked her to come on the road with me.
I'd never been in love, but I started to look at my symptoms.
The mention of her name made my stomach tighten? Check.
Heart beating like a fucking girl? Check.
Any skin revealed and I'm hard? Check.
Watching her sleep like a goddamn stalker? Check.
Wanting to know everything about her and what makes her smile? Wanting to be the reason for the smile? Yep. Big fucking checks all around.
Fuck. I was in love.
My dad once told me that you knew you were in love with a girl when you would do anything for her. You'd be willing to change your life for her and would do anything she asked you to.
He also said you'd know they loved you if they never asked you to change your life or anything else.
With Ami it was so much more than that and had been since the beginning, before either one of us knew what was happening. I would do anything for her. She knew that.
Sometimes I wondered when this had happened. When did I become so focused on this girl that nothing else mattered? Was it when I found her? When she opened her eyes? When I kissed her?
I had no answers, no justifiable ones at least. I was in love.
I knew the time would come when I would fall in love, but I never thought it would happen like this, with a young girl in such a brutal scenario.
When I thought about what happened to her, it felt wrong to love her.
The shitty part for me was that not only had I never been in love, but I also never knew what I was missing with Ami. I'd never had a girl that made me feel like she did.
The night before we left for San Jose was when I told Ami my feelings.
Before I got back into bed, I removed my T-shirt. Ami watched, her eyes low on my hips. She inhaled a sharp breath. I could see it in her stare, feel it in her touch. She was waiting on empty words to be defined.
I said what I was feeling in that moment.
"I love you," I whispered, situating myself between her knees. I didn't say anything more for a long moment, letting the words sink in. I wondered if Josh had told her he loved her. I wondered what her reaction was. Was it the reaction she was having now, staring at me, giving me a look that told me she felt what I had just said to her?
It was the first time I had said it to a girl that wasn't family and it was natural, like everything else with her. Sure, I felt like there was a wild animal clawing at my heart, and every other piece of my chest, but I said it and she didn't run from me.
My palms were on her stomach, pushing her shirt up. I touched her breasts over her bra. My touch excited her; I could see it in the way her cheeks were glowing and her heavy breaths against my neck and shoulders. My words were what crept deep inside her. I could see it in those bright blues staring back at me and her parted lips, desperate to speak.
My voice, the need to say more, hear more, was trapped in my throat.