"Oh, well my friends and family call me Mase." I shrugged, watching her again. "My dad started calling me it when I was a kid and it stuck."
Ami gave a nod and glanced back at the television. A half smile formed on her lips, maybe a distant memory.
"Why did you come to Chicago?" I asked.
"Needed a new life I guess." There was an emptiness behind every word. Somehow I managed to stop staring and looked out the window. It was snowing again.
Ami looked over, too, but watched the wall as she spoke. "After my family was killed, there was nothing left. My boyfriend moved away and went to college without me, and I came here hoping for a new start. Apparently..." She shifted, adjusting her blanket and smiled, looking up with in amusement, "...I'm off to a great start."
"And a new haircut."
A giggle escaped her lips, the sound echoing throughout the room. I smiled.
"Why'd your boyfriend leave?" Oh lord. Shut up already. Honestly, I couldn't imagine anyone leaving this girl.
"His sister was my brother's girlfriend, the one who was on the plane. I guess it was too much for him."
We sat in silence. I wasn't sure I should say anything else. I wasn't exactly off to a great start. The lack of conversation after that seemed to evoke emotions both of us were trying to suppress.
That was when Ami started to cry, attempting to hide her tears by looking the other way, and despite my conscience telling me to leave her alone, I moved to console her.
I knew then, with my arms wrapped around her, there was no way I could continue to be around her with the way she was consuming my every thought. There also wasn't a goddamn thing I was willing to do about it.
"I'm sorry," I whispered into her hair.
"Why?" She brought her eyes to meet mine. "You have no reason to be sorry. You saved me."
"There are shitty people out there, Ami," I mumbled, hoping I wasn't about to reveal too much. "There are good ones, too."
"Funny, my brother used to say things like that to me." Brushing her tears away, she took a deep breath and smiled. "Andrew was always looking for the good side, the sunny side. Which was funny because he was this hot shot baseball player, pitcher, number five." She gave me a smile as though she knew I'd laugh at the way she described him like a sports announcer.
It felt so surreal hearing her talk. For over two weeks, I talked to her, wondering if this moment would ever come, if she would actually talk to me.
Ami went on to explain that Andrew, her brother, was just starting out in his career and skipped out on college, much like me, and was just about to sign for his pro career. And then the plane crash happened. A chance at a lifetime never fulfilled.
I had a really hard time with it when I learned about what happened to Ami's older brother. He was the exact same age as me. My first thoughts when she had told me went back to when I entered the draft and how my family was with me. What if something like that had happened?
Why did I get to live my dream and Andrew didn't?
Why did shit like this happen?
Why them?
When she told me, I was sad. She was young, he was young, and I couldn't imagine the pain she went through.
To save myself the embarrassing part of getting choked up through her story, I didn't speak. It frustrated me, consumed me even, but I was finally starting to understand why I attached myself to her. I wanted to protect her.
For everyone out there each day, each year, is arguably different than the last, bringing with it different struggles, highs, lows, new friends, and fading friends. In five days, in twenty minutes, in a second, everything about that year could change.
Taking a different route to work ends in an accident. Planning a vacation for years, only to die in a plane crash. A chance of a lifetime destroyed in that one split second when that year becomes different from the last.
But then there was the second chance, the swerve to miss the car coming into your lane, and you gain control, your adrenaline taking over and you're thankful for being alive. The choppy weather and turbulence stabilizes, and the plane rights itself. You're safe and you look out the window.
A deep breath, a second chance, and everything seems different and will because it's new, it's your chance.
Those who wanted that second chance got it. Those who didn't were left trying to either prove there was nothing wrong in the first place or ignore that it was even there.
Ami was living it.
Crashing the net – Players head with full steam to the front of the net into the goalie's space and into the goal. It can also be known as crashing the crease.