Madeline sighed. Was it because of him? Or rather because of herself? Despite her own, recent accomplishments in the real world?not some tea party or ballroom?Madeline still harboured doubts about her own worth. Mostly, she tried to ignore them, pretend as though they were not even there or that they would eventually go away on their own. However, so far, they had not.
Although Madeline had met the Widow Dunning only a handful of times, merely exchanging a word of greeting, she remembered the woman’s bright, sparkling eyes and the determined set of her jaw as she had watched her son and daughter chasing each other down to the pond. Her hands had been work-worn, her dress tattered and mended in countless places, and yet, her hair had shone like the sun as though a crown rested upon her head.
Remembering her now, Madeline inhaled a deep breath. What did her husband see when he looked at her? Did he see the same beauty, the same pride resting in her eyes?
As the ground began to level out, Madeline weaved her way through a small cluster of trees, the cottage hidden on the other side. Step by step, she inched closer as though a part of her tried to keep her back, tried to slow her feet and even turn them around.
And yet, she could not.
Stumbling over a root, Madeline caught herself with one hand on the trunk of a tree, the bark scratching over her skin. For a moment, she inspected her hand, wiggling her foot to ease the slight discomfort in her toes. Then she looked up…
…and the air flew from her lungs.
Over by the side of the cottage stood the Widow Dunning, her luminous hair blowing in the wind as she gazed up into the eyes of Madeline’s husband.
Trying to dislodge the lump that rose in her throat, Madeline watched, watched as her husband took a step closer, gently placing a hand on Mrs. Dunning’s arm, his gaze intense as it held hers. A few words were spoken?whispered?that Madeline could not make out. Then Mrs. Dunning shook her head and turned to go. Derek, however, reached for her, his hand wrapping around her arm as he gently pulled her back, his other hand settling under her chin. Again, the widow tried to step away, but Derek held her in place. Ultimately, she bent her head, resting it against his shoulder as he wrapped his arms more tightly around her.
As tears streamed down Madeline’s face, all she could feel was a threatening cold spreading through her body, numbing the ache in her heart, shielding her from the worst of the pain that had assaulted her so unexpectedly. Stumbling backwards, she wiped at her face, cursing herself for allowing herself to be so vulnerable, to feel, to trust…to love.
Hastening toward the manor, Madeline could not make sense of the many thoughts that tumbled through her head. What exactly had she just witnessed? Were they in love? Did they have an affair? Never would she have thought her husband capable of betraying her like this. Had she misjudged him so severely? Or were her fears distorting what she had seen?
Although Madeline dreaded her mother-in-law’s watchful eyes, she could not bring herself to stay outside much longer. Her fingers and toes were already numb, and the tip of her nose ached from the freezing wind.
Resigning herself to her fate, Madeline pushed open the door, welcoming the heavenly warmth that engulfed her the moment she stepped across the threshold. Rather unexpectedly though, her mother-in-law was not standing at the workbench, preparing their supper. Indeed, a large pot was sitting on the stove and vegetables lay about, some already cut, others still awaiting their turn.
With a frown on her face, Madeline stepped closer and found an onion halfway peeled resting on a cutting board. What had happened here?
Glancing around, Madeline could not see anything that would explain her mother-in-law’s absence, and so pulling off her scarf and unbuttoning her coat, Madeline left the kitchen in search of an explanation. As she stepped into the hall, an agitated voice echoed down the stairs, the touch of panic in them freezing Madeline’s blood.
Swallowing, she picked up her skirts and darted up the stairs as fast as she could. At the landing, she stopped, straining her ears to determine where everyone had disappeared to as the rest of the house seemed to be equally deserted as the kitchen.
“I don’t know what to do!” Kara wailed, panic tightening her voice. “Please, Mother, you must know something. What can we do?”
Rushing down the corridor toward Kara and Sean’s bedchamber, Madeline pulled up short when her head suddenly spun to the left, Collin’s room.
With her breath stuck in her throat, Madeline burst through the door. “What’s going on here? I heard?” Words failed her as her gaze fell onto the small bed in the corner. His eyes closed, Collin lay wrapped in countless blankets, his skin pale and his chest rising and falling rapidly, the sound of his breath wheezing in the most unnatural way.
It froze the blood in Madeline’s veins.
Beside him sat Kara, her hands wrapped around Collin’s little one, her face as pale as his, only not with sickness but fear instead. On the other side of the bed, Sean and Bessy stood with their heads bent, their faces haggard as they looked down at the little boy who had always brightened their day and who now lay much too still.
“What’s wrong?” Madeline asked, her voice too shrill in the deafening silence of the room. “What happened to him?” Stepping forward, she looked at Kara and then at Sean and Bessy. Neither would meet her eyes.
“We don’t know,” Bessy finally said, wringing her hands, the competence that usually rested in her eyes stripped from her by existential fear. “He collapsed, and now, he’s not breathin’ properly.” With lips pressed together tightly, she shook her head, tears misting her eyes. “I’ve been afraid of this when he wouldna recover. Not the way ye did.” She glanced at her daughter, who closed her eyes and pressed a kiss to Collin’s little hand. “He’s been weak for almost a month, and I don’t know what to do.” Lifting her head, Bessy finally met Madeline’s gaze, her own holding not only fear but also failure.
Always had Bessy looked after her family. Taken care of them. Nursed them back to health. Set them straight and guided them toward a good life. Now, she was at a loss. She had done what she could, and judging from the sound of Collin’s breathing, it was not enough.
“There must be something we can do,” Madeline exclaimed, but her gaze was only met by blank stares. “He needs a doctor.”
A sob escaped Kara’s throat, and she squeezed Collin’s little hand more tightly. “There is none.”
“The only doctor within reach,” Bessy explained, “moved away when the situation on the estate began to worsen.” She sighed, “Now, the nearest doctor is in London.”
Madeline swallowed as a sense of purpose filled her heart. “Then we need to hurry. I?”
“It’s too far,” Sean objected, wiping his eyes with the hem of his sleeve. “It’s a two-day ride to London, another two to get back. And even if we were to find a doctor, there is no guarantee he’ll agree to return with us, especially since we cannot pay him.” He shook his head, his jaw clenched as he stared at his son. “Even if we had the money, Collin doesn’t have that long, does he?” He glanced at Bessy.
In answer, his mother-in-law closed her eyes and then shook her head. “I don’t believe he does.”
Standing in the small room, Madeline stared at the people who had become her family. She saw their pain and their fear and knew that they were hers as well. Whoever he had been before, now, Collin was her little nephew and she loved him. She loved his enthusiasm, his devotion, his kindheartedness. She loved that he refused to call her Madeline, and she could not imagine never hearing his little voice call her Maddie again.