“I asked you that same question.” The humor in Mary Fran’s voice reassures me that we’re going to get along just fine.
“Anytime. I’m free whenever.” I’m way too eager right now, but I don’t care, as this is my first job. My first ever job. Gah, someone is going to pay me to bake all day. How did I get so lucky?
If this isn’t proving my existence, then I don’t know what is.
It’s moments like these that I wish I still had my friend.
I wish I could share it with Carter.
HOLLYN
Wine in one hand, my phone in the other, my mind telling me to do one thing, my heart telling me to do another. With my legs propped up on my newly purchased nursing books for the classes I start this summer, my finger hits the button it’s been hovering over, his voice filling my dark, and semi-empty apartment.
“Hey, Twigs, picking up pizza now. I’ll be home in ten. You better be naked, you promised me a naked pizza party. Love you.”
Tears.
I rest my head on the back of the couch.
“Remember the day I found a German Shepherd in a cornfield and you wanted to keep it? You named him Cob. I kind of wish we did keep him. Cob would have been a fine addition to our little family, even if his farts were deathly.”
The deep timber of his voice . . .that voice, I miss it so much. It used to lull me to sleep when I wasn’t feeling good, or excite me about something new in my life. In the bedroom, or anywhere for that matter, just a whisper from those beautifully handsome lips would turn me on.
“Twigs, can you make dinner tonight? I’m going to be late. Grilled cheese and soup sounds amazing. P.S. I’m going to need some serious snuggle time with you. I miss you hard.”
Eyes to the ceiling. More tears. I try to catch my breath.
I miss you hard.
“I miss you hard, too, Eric.” My lip trembles as I scroll down to his very last message, the one message that has broken my heart time and time again.
“I’m sorry about our fight, Twigs. Please don’t be mad at me. When I get home, I want to talk some more. Until then, know I love you with all my heart.”
It’s so hard to breathe.
“I will always love you with all of my heart, Eric,” I say between sobs. “But I have to live.” Thinking about Jace, I continue, “You always said you want me to be happy, no matter what. Well, for a brief moment, Jace made me happy. I was just too scared to fully let him in. I think I’m ready to let that happen now.” I exit out of the app and press down on it. Each app on my phone starts to dance with little “Xs” in the top right corner. “A part of me believes you brought Jace to me, to help me finally get over this last hump. The fact that you did it in baseball form will not go unnoticed.” Taking a deep breath, I glance up at his urn that rests on my mantel. Garnering strength from him, I say, “I’m ready to live again, but please, Eric, please know that you will forever be in my heart. And when my time comes, you better be waiting for me, tossing a football and wearing that sexy smirk of yours.” Choking on a sob, I look at my phone. “I love you so hard, Eric. Always.” And with one last exhale, I press the X on my Voxer app, deleting his voice forever.
Everything around me fades as my actions sink in. His clothes have been donated, besides three items I couldn’t get rid of, his jersey being one of them. His cherished items around the house, all donated to people on Craigslist looking for a new start. His voice recordings, now a distant memory.
My heart is broken and battered, but a weight is lifting off my shoulders. It’s time. Time to embrace the new beginning in front of me.
Wiping my tears, I put my plan into action. The phone rings twice before he picks up.
“Hollyn, what’s up?”
Taking a deep breath, I say, “Matt, I need a favor.”
CARTER
I’ve been through a lot in my life. My parents were heroin addicts, overdosing and killing themselves from their own stupidity. Having to move in with my uncle who I thought resented me my entire life. Facing his unconventional way of parenting and emerging from that. All that seems like a cakewalk compared to what I’m about to do next.
I straighten my leather jacket and stop dicking around. I knock on the door in front of me, hoping and praying she isn’t home.
I wait a few seconds before Amanda opens the door to me, and yeah, not surprised to see that scowl. “Daisy doesn’t live here anymore and even if she did, I wouldn’t let you in.”
That welcome I expected. What I wasn’t expecting was Daisy living somewhere else. I can’t help but feel a little proud. She’s doing it. She’s living. Damn, I wish I’d been there to see her when she moved into her first place.
“That’s fair,” I answer a seething Amanda. “Can we talk?”
“Why on earth would I want to talk to you? Do you know what you did to that girl? You broke her heart . . . you, you jerk face.”
And yes, they are definitely related. But even with the insult, the meaning of it all is what burns me. I broke her heart. Breaking my Snowflake’s heart, fuck, it destroys me because she deserves so much better than that, especially by me.
“Listen, Amanda. I know I’m not your favorite person—”
“You got that right.”
Sighing, I continue, “I’m not my favorite person either.”
“Well.” She leans against the doorframe, her arms crossed over her chest. “At least we have something in common.”
“I think we have a lot more in common than you think.” Taking a deep breath, I get on with it. “I love her, Amanda. It took me a little bit to actually realize it, because as you put it so eloquently, I’m a jerk face, but I know it now and want to do something about it.” Need. To.
“What about that other girl with the long legs? Where does she stand?”
“Far away from me as possible. Nothing happened with her once I met Daisy. She’s done.”
“How can I believe you?”
I knew she was going to ask something like that, so I reach into my back pocket and pull out a menu. I hold it out to her and point to the top sandwich. “That’s how.”
Amanda takes a few minutes to read it and when she’s done, she plays it cool. I know this by the way her lip slightly quivers but everything else stays still.
“Okay, what do you want from me?”
Just what I was hoping for. “I need to be re-invited to your wedding.”
Lips pressed together, she takes a moment to decide, then she nods her head. “I think we can make that happen.”
JACE
“Is she in there?” I ask Ethan who just popped out of a corporate suite, freshly showered after the game we just won. Going three for four and hitting a homerun has lifted my spirits and hope for the next phase in this plan. I just hope it goes as well as the game did.
“She is.” Ethan looks toward the door and rubs the back of his neck. “I don’t know, man. I don’t know if this is going to work.”
“It has to.” I lean in to Ethan so June and Alex, who are a few feet behind, can’t hear me. “It’s our only chance of making sure June and Alex are protected.”
“Okay. Good luck.”