His jaw twitches. I know he means to argue, but I press on. “Nevertheless, I did break my promise to you. That is why you have a choice.”
He’s quiet for a moment. “I don’t hate you.”
“All evidence to the contrary.”
He doesn’t have anything to say to that. I think he won’t respond at all. Then—
“I’ll go,” he says. “I’m a member of this crew. My strengths are best put to use obtaining a new mast. I’ll see you ashore, Captain.”
Captain.
It wasn’t enough that his tone was indifferent, accepting of his fate to be stuck on my ship. Now he has to distance himself from me further by refusing to call me by name, as he usually does.
There is so much more I want to say to him. So much I want to demand from him. An apology, for one. Whether his captain, friend, or something more—he should not have spoken to me the way he did the other night. I won’t let that slide so easily.
And then answers. What plagues his mind so much that he’d rather die than be saved by my abilities?
Those conversations will have to wait until another time. For now, we have a tree to find.
“You’re to pair with me on the island,” I say. I don’t give him a chance to respond before leaving to help drop anchor.
He can be upset with me all he likes. I won’t apologize for saving him.
But if I have to watch Lotiya or Deshel leading him through the island while he cannot hear, I won’t be able to focus on the task at hand.
Damn him.
Damn everything about him.
*
The waters are clear as we row toward the shore. The waves aid us, pushing us closer and closer to the island. The men have their ears blocked, even though all signs point to no siren life. We can’t take any chances. It’s not as though I can sense them. I lived my whole life not knowing my own mother was living on the same isle as I.
If only I had known, I could have spared her years of enslavement.
Would she still have run out on me then?
Would it have stopped you from saving her if you’d known she’d leave you?
No.
Strangely, I’m comforted by the realization, though it doesn’t make me any less angry with her.
The island looks … normal as we approach. Somehow, I expected an island tied to the sirens to be more mystical in appearance, though I’m not entirely sure what that would entail.
The boats run aground and we disembark, pulling the rowboats far onto the sand so the waves can’t pull them back out to sea. We take in our surroundings as we step from sandy beach to needle-covered forest floor.
A squirrel notices our approach and scurries up the nearest trunk. The wind grabs at the leaves in the trees, shaking them together. Birds pull twigs from the ground to make their nests, and something rustles through the thick grass. Probably a rodent of some sort.
“Break into your pairs,” I order.
Mandsy hooks her arm through Enwen’s. Athella sidles herself up next to Wallov. Deros gets claimed by Lotiya, and Deshel hovers near Riden. I give her a look that sends her back a step, and grab Riden’s hand.
Riden looks at our joined hands, searches my face, looks back down at our hands.
In the rush to avoid Riden touching another woman, I’d grabbed him without thought as to how he would react.
My fingers release their hold before he can pull away, which I’m sure he would have done. I won’t look at him after that, but I’ve got his back should something come rushing out of the shrubbery.
Kearan, who I paired with Sorinda, holds his arm out to her. Sorinda stares at him, unmoving. He doesn’t take his arm back; he waits for her to do something. I’ve never seen Sorinda fail to intimidate a man with a look, but the two are trapped in a battle of wills, with Kearan’s arm, which is now more muscled than fatty, extended between the two. All of those push-ups have been doing him good.
“Sorinda,” I say, to remind her of her orders while on the island.
She pushes his arm back to his side, but stays near him and keeps her eyes searching the area around them both.
“He’s not all that bad, you know,” Mandsy says, nudging her shoulder into Sorinda. “Now that he’s sobered up, he has interesting things to say.”
“No, he doesn’t,” Sorinda says.
“How would you know? You never stay near him unless following orders.”
“And what I hear while following orders is telling enough. He’s a bumbling buffoon.”
“That’s rather rude.”
“He can’t hear me.”
Kearan looks between Sorinda and Mandsy. “Are you talking about me?” he says much too loudly.
Sorinda rolls her eyes.
The rain and light dampen now that they must filter through the trees to reach us. Many trails wind through the undergrowth; whether they were made by animals or something else, it’s impossible to tell. Either way, we follow one that takes us away from the sea. I monitor a compass in my hand, so we can find our way back to the ship. Radita stays close by my side, examining trees as we pass, but they’re still far too small.
The farther we go, the more entrapped I feel. On the sea, I can see for miles in any direction. But here, on land in a thick forest, anything could be hiding. A threat could be three feet away, and I would be none the wiser. Why would anyone choose to live in a place like this?
When I judge us a safe distance from the ocean, I motion for the men to pull out their plugs. Enwen takes more goading than the others.
I still won’t look at Riden.
Instead I search between the coniferous trees, peering through their branches for hidden dangers.
A figure sidles up next to me.
The one I’m determined not to lock eyes with.
“What was that?” Riden asks.
“What was what?”
“You know what. You grabbed my hand.”
“Thought I saw something between the trees. I was protecting you.” The lie sounds pathetic even to my own ears.
“I see” is all he says.
The longer we travel without seeing any threats, the more certain I am that something foul is just waiting for us around the next hill. The animal life all but vanishes, as if they’re avoiding the center of the island.
After maybe an hour, we come to a clearing. A freshwater spring bubbles up from the ground, giving way to a small stream headed for the sea. A cave opening, likely carved out long ago by the underwater source, rests at the bottom of a rocky rise.
Radita strides over to a tree on the edge of the clearing, opposite the cave. She examines it carefully. “No signs of decay,” she mumbles to herself. Then, “This tall pine is perfect.”
“All right,” I say. “Ropes out. Get them strung up around the neighboring trees. Riden, Kearan, the saw.”
Haeli and Reona, my best riggers, climb two neighboring trees and carefully place the ropes. They’ll help support the tree as it falls, giving it a more controlled descent. It will also muffle the sound of it smashing to the ground. We don’t need to announce our presence. Lotiya and Deshel are on watch while the rest of us get to work.