“What’s this about panties and honeymoons?” Roz winked at me.
“Oh, go buy a pair of panties for yourself. None of your business.” I held up the hanger that my dress was on. “We just bought thirty-two thousand dollars’ worth of dresses. Is Hanna still awake? I want to put these someplace safe from Maggie and anything else that might mess them up.”
Trillian shook his head. “No, she went to bed an hour ago. I’d say put them in the parlor, but Darynal is fast asleep in there. He’s exhausted.”
“Here, I’ll take them for you.” Before any of us could say a word, Smoky was up and collecting the garment bags. “I’ll put them up in the spare closet in the hallway on the second floor. There’s nothing much in there, I believe.”
As he headed up the stairs, dresses in hand, I turned back to Trillian. “How is Darynal doing?”
“He went through a lot of hell down there in the Southern Wastes. He’s sleeping a lot, eating a lot, and not too talkative yet. I’ve tried to find out what happened while he was down there, and he’s fine for a while but then just lapses into silence. I’m not certain, but I think he was captured by a goblin group and quite possibly tortured. They have a way of playing rough with their victims.” His eyes clouded over, but then he shook his head. “I told him he’s welcome to stay here as long as possible. He doesn’t seem in a hurry to return to Otherworld.”
“That’s fine.” Camille glanced at the parlor door. “I know what PTSD is like. I still have nightmares of Hyto, and sometimes . . . flashbacks.” She bit her lip but then shrugged it away. “But I’m working on it.”
“I think we all have nightmares of when Hyto kidnapped you,” I said, my voice soft. “I know that—even though he’s dead—I still dream of Dredge now and again. I think we’ll always carry this crap with us, even when we have dealt with it. There’s no way you can unmake a part of your life.”
Camille sighed. “No, there isn’t. And you can let go of trauma, but the wound it leaves—there’s always going to be some sort of scar tissue there to remind you.”
The clock chimed. It was four A.M.
“You guys go to bed. I’ll be headed there in a little over an hour. But you all need to sleep. Hell, Nerissa, you have to work tomorrow. Can you get off early to get ready for the wedding? You could have all my stuff laid out so that all I have to do is dress.” I wheedled her, leaning up to kiss her cheek.
“Oh stop it, of course I’ll do that for you. And I’ll just call in early, tell Chase I need the day off. I’ve built up enough of them over the past few months, that’s for certain.” As everybody else started to traipse off to bed, Vanzir opted to stay with me in the living room.
When we were alone, he sprawled on the sofa. “So, I’m going to be a father.” His voice was shaky and I suddenly realized how little attention any of us had really paid to the effect the announcement was having on him.
“How do you feel about that?” I could see he was nervous, and maybe—maybe even a little scared.
“What kind of father am I going to make? I’m a daemon. I was a slave, several times over. I have very few morals other than knowing that the biggest bad is the one we don’t want.” He shrugged. “What am I supposed to think? Aeval is choosing to have the child and I don’t know how to feel about it.”
“Has she told you why she decided to have the child? I would think it’s a big deal for a Fae queen to . . .” I almost said breed but then thought I might offend Vanzir.
But he caught my nuance. “Breed with a demon? Yah, a fucking big deal. And even bigger once they find out I’m no demon prince or prize catch. I haven’t got anything to offer a kid. I don’t have anything to offer Aeval, really. I don’t know why . . .” He paused, then cocked his head, flashing me a sly look. “What made you choose someone so different from you? Someone who really doesn’t share your nature?”
“You mean Nerissa? Maybe . . . maybe just because I fell in love. Maybe because something about her . . . I couldn’t stop thinking about her. And when I finally admitted it to myself, I realized that I had opened my heart up. Who knows why Aeval chose you, but choose you she did and now you’re going to be parents together. I’d get used to the idea, if I were you, and quit trying to reason out why.”
He let out a long sigh and leaned back, covering his eyes with his arm. “I don’t want to be in love. And damn it, why did I have to fall for a queen? This is ridiculous. I don’t deserve . . .”
His little slip caught my attention immediately. I pushed his feet off the sofa, forcing him to sit up, and then sat down beside him.