I stared at him, then turned away from him, rising to my feet to go to Brenon. What was I supposed to say? How was I supposed to react?
Catching up to Brenon, I grabbed his elbow, stopping his pacing. He looked down at me, face impassive. What was he thinking? What was I supposed to say? Didn't I feel the same way about him? For some reason, the words stuck in my throat. This was harder than it should be. I used to think love was pure, ideal, perfect. Weren't you just supposed to know? Why couldn't I just say it?
We stared at each other for a long moment, and I tried to make my mouth work to speak. Finally, I took a deep breath. "Did you mean that?"
He nodded, and his eyes met mine, the weariness in his eyes eased to reveal a soft expression. The kind look he reserved for when we were alone together. It was as if something inside me was melting, maybe the defenses I'd put up long ago. "I love you, too."
Brenon smiled. "We'll find another way to break the curse, when the time is right."
Tristan cleared his throat. "Well, then. This makes things more complicated."
For a moment, I'd forgotten Tristan was still in the room. I pressed my palms to my temples and spun around to face him. "We have the others to help. We're just going to have to wait."
"You'd forgive him if it was just sex, right?" Tristan said.
I scoffed. "If I thought that would work, I might go for it, but we all know that curse isn't just about sex. Chances are, if Brenon found a random girl to have sex with, it still wouldn't be enough. Besides, we can't risk Terra being able to take Brenon's magic."
"How long for the pills to wear off?" Tristan asked.
"Depends." Brenon shrugged. "Could be a few hours or a few days. Everyone is going to be different."
Tristan was pacing now. "We don't have that much time. She's going to try to open the gate in two days."
"She can't," I said. "She needs the magic of both worlds."
Tristan stopped moving. "She's got Gia already."
"But she needs a Fae, too, right? Someone powerful?" I started following his path around the room.
He shook his head. "She's waiting for you."
I stopped walking. "What do you mean?"
"She didn't take Gia to help her with the spell. She took her as bait. And if you don't go for it, she's going to find something else, something that will make you come to her."
My blood ran cold. "Ryder."
Chapter 26
"I'm on it, Ara." Brenon was out the door before I could even say another word.
My palms were sweaty and my stomach was in knots. I turned to Tristan. My lower lip quivered as nervousness melted away into anger. I marched over to him. "Why didn't you open with that? How could you come in here and waste our time if you knew Terra was trying to bait me?"
"Why do you think I wanted to break the curse and get it done with right away?"
Tristan didn't back down as I stepped right in front of him. "You don't get it, do you? Ryder is all I have."
"I get it, I do. I understand family, but he's not all you have," Tristan said. "I know you don't want anything to do with me, but a whole group of Sayges and the Rose Circus took on Terra for you. It's time for you to start realizing that you're not the sad, lonely girl you think you are. Does your life suck? Yeah, it sucks having Terra after you. I get that. But you have to appreciate these people in your life, or you'll lose them all."
Tristan's words felt like a punch in the gut. Where had that come from? I didn't want to let the words sink in, but he was right. In the last few weeks, I'd been so worried about all of the negative changes. The upheaval of my whole existence. Yet, I'd found a place I felt like I belonged and I had found people who were willing to fight with me, for me. How had I not seen that before?
Brenon came running back into the room, eyes wild. "He's gone. Ara, I swear, I did everything I could to keep him safe and keep him away from all of this."
"What do you mean he's gone?" I knew what he meant, but I had to hear it. I didn't want to believe that after everything, Ryder could still end up the one to pay the ultimate price.
Brenon shook his head. "Terra. She has your brother."
The room seemed to be spinning as the words sank in. I took unsteady breaths while my mind reeled, trying to think of what I could do. How could I help him? If she wanted me, there was a good chance Ryder was still alive.
"I'm so sorry," Brenon said.
I swallowed against a lump in my throat. "I know."
Slowly, I walked toward the door.
"Where are you going?" Brenon and Tristan asked in unison.
"I'm not sure." I felt numb, and I wasn't sure how my feet were able to move. "Maybe Denver?"
A hand grabbed hold of mine, pulling me around until I was face to face with Brenon. "You can't just walk in there, that's what she wants."
"I can't leave him there. You know that."
"I think I can help," Tristan said.
"How?" I asked. "Haven't you already done enough?"
Tristan shook his head. "You don't know anything about me."
"I know you burned Gia's village to the ground," I said. "I know you threatened me and you did Terra's dirty work. Why would I trust you? Having the same DNA doesn't give you a free pass from all the things you've done. You scare me."
"I know," Tristan said. "And now's not the time to get into my past. Right now, you need magic. And I'm one of the few people here who has enough to do some damage to Terra."
I looked at Brenon, trying to read his expression.
"It may be our best chance," Brenon said. "Without the curse broken, I don't have enough magic to hold her off on my own and it's going to be days before all the blue pills are out of everyone's system."
I glared at Tristan. "This doesn't mean I forgive you for what you've done."
"All I want is the chance to have a conversation with you if we live through this," he said.
I nodded. "If we live through this, we can talk."
We sat in the dining car, crammed in with all of the members of the Rose Circus. The newcomers had been granted access to the other common areas of the train while they waited for their magic to return. Evangeline had told them that we would attack Terra in three days. I wondered if any of the people who were in this car would even be alive in three days.
"None of you have to do this," Brenon said. "We don't know her strength, and we don't know if the immortality of the curse will hold if she uses magic."
The room was silent, and I tried to focus on Brenon, ignoring the feeling of dozens of eyes on me. We were asking them to be a distraction while I recovered my brother with Tristan's and Jasper's help. It was risky, and if we had any better plans, I wouldn't have agreed to it.
"What's in it for him?" A tall, yellow woman with fluttering incandescent wings pointed to Tristan. "Why would we trust him?"
"Is it true?" Bigfoot had pushed his way to the front, stopping in front of me. "Out there, they were saying he's your father."