I shook my head. “No. But tonight he lied. Vike was joking and he joined in. But it was fake. It was all fucking fake. It made me mad. I walked off.”
Maddie sighed then kissed my chest. I sucked in a breath at her touch. I fucking loved her touching me now. “You must talk to him, Flame. He is your best friend, the person closest to you. You must ask him if he is okay. He helped you when you were lost to the dark. This time, he may need you.”
“I don’t know what to say to him,” I said. When I looked at my hands, they were shaking. I frowned. Maddie took my hand. “It makes you nervous. But that is okay. It is because you care. AK loves you. He will listen to you. He never wants to hurt you.”
I stared at Maddie and nodded my head. “Okay. I’ll talk to him.”
“Good.” She smiled.
I touched her lips. “I like it when you smile.”
“I like it when you talk to me.” Maddie shifted up until she was lying on me. She put both her hands on my face. “Do not keep things from me anymore, baby. I love you, and I will share any burden you bear.”
“Okay,” I said, and she smiled again.
I loved her smile.
Maddie’s fingers traced the flame tattoos on my chest. “Asher picked me up from Bella’s tonight.” I watched her. Waiting. “He is still staying with Viking. At his cabin.”
“I know,” I said. Something made Maddie’s expression change. “He does not like living with Viking. I can tell.”
My cheek twitched when she said that, and I felt something cold run through my veins. “He’ll be back with AK soon. He likes it there.”
Maddie sighed, then tipped her head to the side as she looked at me. “He does, but . . .” She took another breath. “I think he likes it best with us. When he comes for dinner, I can see how much he likes being with you and in this cabin. Have you noticed this?”
I thought back to Ash, sitting with us at the table. I remembered his face, fucking smiling as he ate Maddie’s food. Talking to my wife.
He was happy here.
“Flame?” Maddie said my name again. I watched her. “I have been wondering . . . perhaps Asher would like to stay with us?”
“Tonight?”
She shook her head. “I have been thinking that perhaps Asher should live here with us. He is your brother and he adores you. I know he loves AK too, but you are his brother. We are his family. I feel he should move in with us.”
I shook my head. I breathed hard through my nostrils. “I don’t . . . I don’t know how to care for him. What the fuck would I say to him? Where would he stay?”
“Shh,” Maddie soothed. “It was just an idea. Something that can stay between us. Something for you to think about. There is no need to panic. Or worry. And we could make up the back room for his bedroom. He is sixteen and very independent. Asher would not need caring for like a small child. And you can talk to him. You do so now. It would simply be more frequent, which I think would be good for you. Good for you both.”
I tried to think of Ash living here. My body went cold, and I couldn’t fucking breathe. “Flame,” Maddie said, and I focused on her face. “It is something to think about. But not right now.” Maddie’s hand softly traveled down my abs. I hissed as her hand reached the waistband of my leathers. “Right now I wish to be with my husband. I wish to remind you that I am here for you, always. That I am not where Phebe was. Instead I am in your arms, in our bed, in our home. And that I love you.”
“Yeah,” I said hoarsely. “I want that too.”
Then Maddie kissed me. She kissed me and the need to cut my arm went away. The thoughts of her in the ghost town left my head. Because now she was here.
In our bed.
In my arms.
My fucking Maddie.
Mine.
Chapter Ten
Phebe
I stared at the trees as they whizzed past—a blur of green and brown. The truck was silent as we drove up a dirt path. Fields and fields of green spread out around us. If I did not know better, I could have believed I was back in New Zion. But somehow I thought I would have always known that was not true. Everything about this devil’s den felt different. And not in the way I would have thought. I did not feel fear, but nor did I feel safe. I was stalled in a state of purgatory, not knowing where I belonged.
A fallen leaf caught in a strong wind.
“I am to stay with Rebekah from now on?” I asked as I stared out of the window. I toyed with the sleeve of the loose, white, floor-length dress Bella had brought for me.
My heart was a trembling mess as I thought of the last time I had seen Rebekah. A part of me feared she would hate me, that she would not welcome me into her home. But on the other hand, I wanted to break free from this truck in which I traveled and run into her arms.
One of AK’s hands was tight on the steering wheel. He had a cigarette in the other, and he took regular drags from the lit embers as we drove.
Over the past few hours, I had tried to piece together what had happened to me in New Zion, in the end. I remembered that Judah, fearful of an attack by the devil’s men, began gathering our people. I remembered hiding Grace near the prison. I remembered Cain coming back and promising me that if anything happened to me he would secure Grace’s safety. I remembered freeing Cain, Sister Ruth, Brother David, Solomon and Samson from their cell.
Then I remembered Meister finding me near the woods as I rushed back to Grace. He took hold of my hand. I had tried to resist him, but he had been violent and put something in my arm. He had been gradually putting something in my arm many weeks before that, the potion that made me feel strange, but that day it had been different. Because that was the last thing I truly remembered. Only flashes and segments of other moments remained—dark rooms, Meister and his friends laughing at me.
And pain. Lots and lots of pain.
AK took a left turn, the motion of the vehicle dragging me from my thoughts. A house came into view. Similar to AK’s, but bigger and with more greenery outside. My pulse took off into a sprint as the truck rolled to a stop.
AK pointed at the house. “This is Ky and Lilah’s.”
“Oh.” A sudden onslaught of nerves gripped me. I tried to focus on the windows, checking for any movement, but I could not see beyond the reflection of the trees against the glass.
I played with my hands in my lap. “I have wanted this moment for so long . . . yet I find myself frozen in this very seat,” I said, my voice shaking. I looked down at my hands, at the broken skin, at the ashen pallor, and wondered what Rebekah would think of me.
“I have thought of this moment many times, AK. For so long I believed I would never get this chance. To see the sister I have loved for so long, yet wronged in so many ways . . .” I laughed nervously. “I suppose you do not understand what I am saying.”
He shifted in his seat. “I think I probably do.”
“Yes?” I said in relief. Relief that perhaps someone knew how I feared this moment as much as I treasured that it was finally here.