“It’s science, brother.” I waggled my brows.
“Then shit! Goodbye, bush, is all I gotta say.” I laughed, fucking laughed at my brother as he downed his beer. I could tell by the serious look of concentration on his face that he was planning to weed-whack his fucking bush the minute he got into his cabin.
“How about you, Flame?” I looked at Flame over the fire pit. But he was already watching me. Fucking black eyes boring into me. “What?” I asked, my cocky smile still on my face. I saw his jaw clench, then he was up out of his seat. Without looking back, he stormed out of my backyard and toward his cabin.
“What the fuck is up with him?” Vike asked. I shook my head and stared in the direction he’d gone. “No fucking idea.” I drank the rest of my beer and cracked open another.
Vike reached into the pocket of his cut and pulled out something in a Ziploc bag. I squinted, trying to see what it was. Vike opened the bag, and I saw a slice of pineapple inside. He started chomping on the fruit. I couldn’t help it. I laughed so fucking hard my stomach ached.
“What?” he asked, shoving the last of the yellow fruit into his mouth.
“Is this about what Cowboy said in the truck?”
Vike swallowed then wiped his mouth with his forearm. “This makes my cum smell all tropical and shit, I’ll be ordering crates of the stuff.” He smiled. “In fact, I’ve been feeling the need to test it out. You wanna head to the clubhouse?”
I shook my head. “Gotta stay. Phebe leaves tomorrow. She’s going to Li and Ky’s. First time she’s seen her sister since Judah tried to crucify her in the cult.”
Vike got to his feet. “Good. Then we can all move on from this shit and get back to normal. Fucking hated this week. Flame ain’t left Maddie, and you ain’t left the ginger. I’m bored as fuck with y’all gone.” Vike threw his empty bottle into the trashcan. “At least the bitch will be gone from your hair. Don’t like how she’s been making you act. All moody and shit. At least you’re back to normal now.”
I winked, smiling, as Vike left my yard. I waited until I heard the sound of his bike then dropped my fucking smile. I slouched in my seat and ran my hand over my face. My stomach tightened when I thought of Phebe on that fucking bed. Thrashing as I pinned her down, eyes fucking livid one minute, then lost the next, as the smack left her veins.
I wondered if that’s how he’d been too. Wondered if he looked like that, fucking broken yet wild as he tore up the bedroom, demanding more drugs. Wondered if he’d needed cleaning afterward because he was too weak. Too fucking gone in the head to do anything, think about anything but his next fix.
I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to purge the thoughts from my head. The sound of the cabin door opening cut through the quiet of the night. Phebe stepped out onto the deck, dressed, but wrapped in a blanket.
I sat up, dropping my beer. “You okay?” I ran my eyes over her, making sure she wasn’t hurt.
“Yes,” she said quietly, then approached where I sat. I fucking held my breath at the sight of her coming my way. Even tired and too-thin, this bitch was stunning. Her eyes were lowered as she hovered by the seat beside me, the one Vike had been sitting on. “May I?” She nodded her head in the direction of the chair.
“Yeah,” I replied, and Phebe sat down. She tightened the blanket around her body. “You cold?” I asked. The night was pretty fucking warm.
Phebe looked up at me, fucking stealing my damn breath. “I fluctuate between being far too hot and freezing cold. Right now I am struggling to remain warm.” She pointed at the fire. “I saw you out here and wondered if the fire would be of help.”
The fire was burning pretty strong, and as I stared at her face, the orange flames reflecting on her face, I found it hard to fucking look away. Clearing my throat, I said, “I heard that’s a thing. Not being able to regulate your body temperature for a while. The effects of the detox.”
Phebe gave me a watery smile. “I suspect so.” She leaned back against the seat, and her gaze became lost in the fire. I lit up a smoke and stared at the flames myself. It wasn’t long before I felt Phebe’s eyes on me. When I turned and caught her, her blue eyes were fucking studying me, like they were dissecting every part of my face.
“What?” I asked.
“You act differently with them.”
I furrowed my brow. “Who?”
“Your two friends. The ones who were out here with you tonight.”
“You were watching us?” I asked. Her cheeks blazed with embarrassment.
“I needed a drink of water and some fresh air. But when I saw them out here with you, I waited until they left. I . . . I am not ready to see anyone . . . anyone but you.” Her lips curled up at the corners as she said that shit, and Christ if my chest didn’t tighten some. That is, until she leaned my way, her face so fucking close to mine. “You laughed and you joked. You were silly and playful.” I went to laugh, telling her that’s who I really was, but the bitch wasn’t laughing. She wasn’t even smiling anymore. “You wear a mask, AK.” Her head tipped to the side as my heart slammed against my ribcage and didn’t let up. “You laughed and you joked, but your eyes . . .” Phebe reached out and ran her fingers around my eyes. “Your eyes remained haunted. Seeing something in the world that your mirth can not dissolve.”
I froze, fucking stock-still. Phebe ducked her eyes, then sat back in her seat and stared at the fire. “I watched you, wondering why you portray yourself as two people. Then I believe I found the answer—because you wish to find happiness in the shoes you fill now.” She turned to me and fucking seared me with her blue eyes. “Not the shoes you once wore. The ones that caused you pain, blistering both your feet and heart . . . for good.”
“Yeah?” I answered, my traitorous voice fucking cut open by her accuracy. “How do you know?”
“Because only someone who has walked in similar shoes, who has walked that familiar path, can see it.” Phebe bent up her knees and ran her hands over her feet. They were still cut and marked from the ghost town. “These scars will fade, yet they will never leave. Just like you, AK. The playful attitude you find in the company of your friends will endure, but your eyes will forever bare your soul to one who truly recognizes it.”
“What do you recognize in my eyes?” I asked, my fucking blood draining from my face. My damn palms started sweating, and my fingers shook, the ash from my smoke falling onto my jeans.