Much to his credit, a little bit of shame brought color to his cheeks. “I’m sorry I lied to you.”
“You didn’t just lie. You used me to get what you wanted. But I would guess that’s just what you do.”
His eyes narrowed slightly. “I’m not who you think I am.”
“I don’t know you at all.”
I turned and started to make my way down the rest of the steps in front of the courthouse. I could see his shadow as he followed me.
“I want to see him.”
I shook my head. “Not now.”
“Penny—“
“I have to tell him about this. I have to tell my fifteen-year old brother, who is still struggling with the deaths of our parents, that his English teacher is really some billionaire from Oregon who wants to rip him from the only home he has ever known because his mother lied to a lawyer sixteen years ago.” I glanced back at him. “I think that’s more than enough for one person for one night.”
Harrison inclined his head slightly. “Okay. But I want to see him soon. Tomorrow.”
“He has school.”
He grabbed my arm again. “There’s got to be a way we can work all this out. I don’t want to take him from you. I just want to be a part of his life.”
“Liar.” I jerked my arm from his grasp while moving into him, my finger pressed against his chest. “If you only wanted to be a part of his life, you would have told me who you were when you first arrived in town. You wouldn’t have taken that damn job, you wouldn’t have made threats and you wouldn’t have hidden your identity. You would have come straight to me, told me who you were, what happened all those years ago, and we would have talked about an arrangement. But you didn’t do any of that.”
“I handled it badly.”
“You lied!” I stared at him, the anger building so intensely in my chest that I could hardly catch my breath. “You lied and kept secrets and used me. Do you really think I could forgive that?”
“I thought I was doing what was right for JT.”
“What would be right for JT would be for you to disappear. The last thing he needs right now is some long-lost father coming back to turn his life upside down.”
“I don’t agree.” He leaned close to me so that he was less than a breath away from my lips. “You’re struggling, Penny. You barely have time to sleep let alone raise a fifteen year old boy. He’s unsupervised, running through town in the middle of the night, getting arrested for public intoxication, disappearing for hours at a time, sleeping through school. Do you really think that’s ideal? Do you really think you’re doing what’s best for him?”
“Do you think ripping him away from his friends, the only home he’s ever known, is going to be any better?”
Harrison hesitated and that surprised me. I expected him to have a quick answer. But he didn’t.
Maybe neither of us truly knew what was best for JT. But I knew that allowing him to go off with a virtual stranger wasn’t the answer.
I walked off, leaving Harrison standing there alone on the steps. I didn’t look back, but I could feel his eyes on me. And, despite myself, I liked it. I liked that he couldn’t look away, that I’d left him wanting more. In a strange sort of way, it made me feel powerful.
But it also hurt worse than any heartbreak I think I’d ever felt. Because I also knew it was all about this mess, not about what happened between us last night. And last night was an experience I’d never known before, one that every inch of my heart wanted to experience again.
*****
I went to the house when I got back to town, but JT wasn’t there. I headed over to the bakery, overwhelmed with the guilt that I’d left Nick and Amanda to handle all the work all day. It was nearly time to close the shop, but Nick would probably still be at it for few hours more, trying to get a head start on tomorrow’s orders.
I let myself in through the back door, moving silently. The floors were covered in rubber mats back here to reduce the chances of someone slipping on spilled water or flour, so my heels didn’t make that tap-tap sound that they might have otherwise. So Nick and JT didn’t know I was there at first.
They were standing side by side at one of the work tables decorating a wedding cake. Nick was patiently showing JT how to create the delicate flowers that would flow down one side of the three tiers. JT was listening closely and when Nick complimented the purple rose he’d just completed, his face beamed with pleasure. It reminded me of the hours and hours I stood there beside my mom, learning from her talented hands how to do the same thing.
Once again, tears filled my eyes. I don’t think I’d missed my parents quite as much as I missed them in that moment.
“JT,” I said, clearing my throat to rid it of the sound of tears.
He turned and smiled. “Look, Penny,” he said, gesturing to the flower.
I smiled. “It’s perfect.”
He looked at it, giving it an objective study. “This petal is a little too wide.”