“That would be your heart beat it’s picking up.” He moved the wand around. Close to my pubic bone a softer whooshing sound came out of the speaker. “There we go.” He sat and listened for a few minutes.
I moved my attention over to Dodger. He was staring at my stomach in complete wonderment. It almost seemed . . . endearing. I couldn’t believe that was my baby’s heartbeat. I hear these sounds all day working in labor and delivery, but it’s completely different when it’s yours. There’s a certain sense of pride and emotional connection that’s suddenly there. Almost as if, that very first sound of it going through my ears, sync’d with my heart and we were one. Since finding out about this little nugget, I smiled for real for the first time. Tears pooled in my eyes and I was in awe. Dodger looked at me and winked. He knew no words were needed.
Dr. Carrie let us listen for a good minute before he ended the Doppler. He left briefly so I could get dressed. It stayed quiet in the room while I put my clothes back on. I think both of us were either unsure of what to say, or we were basking in that beautiful sound that was still echoing in our heads. A few minutes later, the doctor came back in to give us all the information that he’d gathered and some pamphlets.
“Okay, so based on your last cycle, I’m going to put your due date as April first next year.”
I made a noise and quickly covered my mouth.
“Are you okay?” Dodger asked.
The giggles bubbled up and I couldn’t help but let it all out. My eyes bounced back and forth between the two of them. “Oh come on, seriously? You don’t see the irony in that?” They both gave me a blank stare. “The due date is April first.” Nothing. “Guys, April Fool’s Day. Of all the days I’m freaking due on the most comical day of the year. Like ha ha, joke’s on you, Macie.”
The doctor smiled, but Dodger glared at me. “You’re right, I didn’t catch that one. Life’s not playing a joke, but it’s certainly something you could run with if you wanted.”
At least the man delivering my baby had a sense of humor.
“Here’s some info with some numbers, like breast feeding classes, or Lamaze, if that’s something that interests you. I’ll be seeing you once a month for now. When you get to the thirty-second week I’ll be bumping the visits up to every two weeks. And at thirty-six weeks I’ll ask to see you every week. There will be two scheduled ultrasounds, both checking the baby’s growth and development. Also checking to make sure there’s only one bundle in there.”
Dodger coughed really loud, and pounded on his chest. “Don’t joke about that, Doc. Some things aren’t funny.”
“Oh, I wasn’t joking about that. Multiples are always a possibility.”
Dodger’s face went ghostly white. If I found out I was carrying more than one in there, I’d likely have the same face.
“When will we find out if it’s a boy or a girl?” he asked.
“Not until around twenty weeks.”
Dodger nodded. The doctor shook Dodger’s hand and smiled at me. He congratulated us both and said he was excited to be with us on our journey. I’m sure he was also thrilled that I decided to keep the baby. I think he knew all along that abortion was never really going to be an option for me. After he left, I grabbed my bag and coat, and Dodger held the door open for me as we made our way outside.
“Want to grab a bite to eat?”
I was about to unlock my car and stopped to look at him. “Thank you, but I think I’m going to head home and take a nap.”
“Mace.” He deadpanned.
“Hmmm?”
“I’m not letting this go. We need to talk. And after all of that in there,”— he gestured at the building —“Seems there’s a lot more for us to go over than before.”
I couldn’t help the small smile that came to my lips. “Believe me, Dodger, I know you’re not.”
He let the pretense of being a hard ass go and he looked at me in wonderment. “Can’t believe there’s a little person in there.”
I shook my head. “Weird, right?”
“A little.”
It got quiet. And not in an awkward way, but more of we were watching each other, not sure what the next move should be. I know I needed to go get some much needed sleep, but leaving him now, when we’d just heard our baby’s heartbeat for the first time, didn’t seem to be the thing to do. Saying I needed a nap was a cop out.
“How about this. Why don’t you come with me on Monday when I go look at houses, and we can sit down for lunch or dinner and discuss what we need to. Sound good?”
I could tell he was wanting to push and say he wanted to do it sooner, but I was being cordial and non-confrontational about it.
“Okay.”
I made eye contact and gave a genuine smile. “Okay.”
Dodger took a step forward and raised his arms infinitesimally, then thought better of it and dropped them. I think he was going to hug me and truthfully, I think part of me wanted him too. I was feeling happy about where this was all going. Affection from him was something I was craving and I hadn’t realized it until now. Just when I figured that out and was going to make my own motion to go to him, he stepped backwards toward his car.
A boyish smirk crossed his face. “This is happening, Macie.”
I was confused. “What’s happening?”
“This. Us.”
“Dodger . . . you’re delusional.”
He barked a laugh. “Nah, I see it. You want me.”
“I’m sure Dr. Carrie has the number for the psych ward.”
He was around to the driver’s side of his vehicle and opening the door. “You’re cute when you’re lying to yourself.”
I sighed. “Yeah, and telling yourself stories isn’t going to make me take my clothes off and climb on top of you.”
He stopped. “Who said anything about that?”
“You did?” I said as a question.
“No, ma’am. That’s not what I’m saying at all.”
I dramatically yawned and opened my own car door. “Then what are you saying, Dodger?”
He placed both of his forearms on the roof of his car and stared me down. I had no choice but to look at him. He sucked me in like a damn wave being pulled back into deeper waters.
“I’m saying forever, Mace. You, me, the baby. You’re mine. You’ve always been mine. Nothing about that has changed. You want sex, I’ll give you sex. You want hugs and kisses, and undivided attention, it’s yours. You want a house to decorate and make into something so you feel like it’s yours, consider it done. But us . . . and there is an us, it’s happening. The only person that is not seeing the grand picture here is you. I’ll give you your time, Macie Rosewood. But realize this,” he paused. “I’m sticking around. Push as hard as you want. I’ll tie your ass up and put you in a closet of our new home if I have too ’til you see what I am seeing.”
“Uh, pretty sure that’s illegal,” I interrupted.
“Probably, but I don’t care.” He tapped twice on the roof. “Find us a three bedroom to look at. Oh, and a two car garage. I’m going to need a place to put a treadmill.”
He climbed into his car, slamming his door and starting his engine. As he pulled out, he winked at me while I gaped at him with my mouth wide open.