But in horror, I understood.
I could never show my face again.
I had been dead, and now I wasn’t. And now I had killed someone I had known my whole life.
My life as Itsuko was over.
For weeks I hid, keeping to the forest, trying to force myself to drink the blood of the animals I found, but it was never right. I found myself vomiting it back up, and always, I went back to the village at night, and killing someone I did not want to kill.
One night I had a dream. Of a man. A man with captivating eyes. A man with beautiful lips. A man with power in his hands and heart.
“Cyrus,” I whispered as I woke up.
The next night, I went down to the docks and spoke to a captain, asking how I could get from this corner of the world to the land far away known as Austria.
He told me how much money he needed to take me to the closest point he could.
I was to return in two nights.
It wasn’t hard. I was silent and quick and no one even saw me. I snuck into homes and I stole what I needed.
And I wondered how I got here.
I was in the territory of the House of Himura. Considering I now remembered my life as Sevan, I knew I had to be a daughter of a Royal. As Itsuko, my mother did not know the name of my father, only that he was a wealthy man who had passed through our village and took her to bed.
And here I was.
My mother had no idea what my father was. Or what I would become one day.
And here I was, an unknown Royal. Here I was, Sevan and Itsuko.
I returned to the dock after two nights with the money. I boarded the ship. And we set sail for a long journey.
But when I woke after sleeping the second night, two men stood above me, wearing wicked smiles.
A man with a scar down the left side of his face, barely missing his eye. And a man missing one of his front teeth.
“Welcome back, Queen Sevan,” one of them said with glee in his eyes.
The other grabbed me by the throat, picking me up and lifting me off of my feet. I kicked, tried to scream, but his Born strength held me immobile.
“We knew we would eventually find you, and finally we found you first,” one said.
“What do you want?” I choked.
He pinned me against the wall, his hand closing tight.
“You are the key,” he said, bringing his face close to mine. “The key to ending this whole monarchy. The key to ending the banishment.”
My eyes widened.
There were thousands of Born in the world, those descended from the five exiled grandsons. The ones who had been banished from our lives.
“For all these years we have tried to take out Cyrus and his blood descendants at Court,” the other hissed. “But never to any avail. They are too loyal. Too comfortable. Cyrus is too well guarded.”
The man holding me grinned, leaning in a little closer.
“But the King has one weakness,” he said softly. “One thing he will do anything for, give up any throne for.”
My eyes widened and my heart stopped beating.
Me.
They were going to use me as the bargaining chip to tear down everything we had built. And I knew he would do it. To get me back, Cyrus would turn it all over. He would walk away from every bit of the system.
Tears pricked into my eyes. A sob tried to push its way over my lips, but the air couldn’t move with his hand around my throat.
They both grinned wickedly.
“It has been building for centuries, lovely,” he said. “And now, after all this time, we will finally make it happen. We will finally end the monarchy. And we will end Cyrus.”
Tears slipped down my face, but steel framed its way around my heart.
I knew what that meant.
They would get Cyrus to give up the throne.
But then they would kill him.
They’d kill me.
They’d kill everyone at Court. And those who allied themselves with my son, those who wanted to take over the world, they would be in control.
So I waited.
I knew what I had to do.
It took so long until I had my opportunity. They kept me locked in a cell with nothing within reach. For days, probably weeks, we sailed toward Austria and the closest port.
But finally, I heard noise. I could smell something other than sea.
I climbed to my feet and waited for them to come retrieve me.
Roughly, they dragged me out of the cell and we went above deck. The moon shone brightly, illuminating the quiet but still-occupied port.
I walked down the plank, onto the dock. My eyes wildly searched, looking.
And there, just within my reach, I spotted a harpoon.
I moved faster than I’d ever moved.
I grabbed it.
And I buried it deep in my chest.
Pain seared through me, and then it pierced my heart.
I was dead. I would never make it back to Cyrus.
But without me, these men had nothing.
With me dead, he, and everyone at Court would remain safe.
And I knew, someday, I would be born again.
* * *
“We meet again, Queen Sevan,” the man with the scar says with a smug smile.
My movements invisible, I was so fast, I rush forward, wrapping my hand around his throat. His head cracks back against the wood studs.
“How many of you are there?” I hiss in his face. “Who else is here in Greendale?”
He just smiles, baring yellowed fangs. “This goes beyond the Born now,” he says. “Others have not been happy with the reigning King, one who has had too much power for too long.”
“Are you saying that some of the Royals are turning on Cyrus?” I demand, my grip on him tightening.
He just smiles and laughs.
I yank.
I rip his head clean from his shoulders and let it fall to the floor with a crack against the concrete.
My eyes dark and narrowed, I move over to the man who has gotten his front tooth replaced since the last time I saw him.
“Tell me everything you know,” I growl.
His eyes narrow. “No.”
My hand darts out and I grab one of his fingers, snapping it off.
The man screams out in pain.
“There are two factions trying to get Cyrus off the throne,” I demand. “True or false?”
“There have always been those of us trying to get Cyrus off the throne,” the man growls through his pain. “Ever since he suppressed us. The time of humans must come to an end.”
I snap another of his fingers off. “That is beside the point,” I snarl. “The Born are trying to get to Cyrus through me. These Royals. Are they a real threat?”
The man smiles through his pain. It grows slowly.
“Oh how blind Cyrus has been to what has been going on within his own Court for so long. Cyrus cares about so little anymore. His focus has been on finding you, his long lost wife, for all these years. He didn’t care to take note of the whisperings in his own land.”
My blood rushes hot. But now fear races through my veins.
“Are the two groups working together?” I ask one more time.
The man laughs. “If we are, if we are not, either way, the King will fall now that you have returned.”
My hand darts out and my fingers burrow into his chest as he lets out a choked off cry. Warm and wet, they know exactly where to search. The muscle and incredibly soft tissues pulse as my fingers wrap around it.
And I rip his heart out.
I stare at it, anger raging through me. Terror slips through my veins like a snake.
We’ve dealt with insurrection before. With assassination attempts.
But this one feels different. If what he said is true, if Royals are turning against us, the game will change.
“There are no others here, my Queen,” Larkin speaks from the shadows. “I’m sure of it this time.”
I nod, still staring at the man’s heart.
“We are returning to Roter Himmel,” I say as I squeeze the heart just a little tighter. “I’m taking my parents with me. I will bury them there. We can’t leave any evidence here.” My eyes flick up to Larkin’s face. “Do you understand?”
“I do, my Queen,” he says with a deep bow.
I turn, finding Ian standing there. Softly, I hear Alivia comforting Eshan upstairs.