“I just want her to forgive me,” I admit.
I know it’s not that easy, but that’s the only thing that’s going to make me feel better. Great, I’m making this all about me—I really am selfish. How is she feeling right now? She’s probably feeling betrayed by her own blood, but she doesn’t know the whole story, and she isn’t going to want to hear it. I know she needs time, but it’s still hard to give her that, which is probably how Ranger is feeling right now.
“She’ll get over it,” Travis says, placing his hand on mine. “Even I could see how happy you’ve been recently, all right? As much as I hate to admit it, this guy obviously is good to you. I don’t think I’ve seen you smile so much in the last few years as you have the last few weeks.”
“Is this you coming around?” I ask, finding it ironic that this is happening on today of all days. I don’t even know what I’m going to do about the whole Ranger situation. He lied, and I’m angry. No, I’m hurt. And I don’t know how to forgive him.
“Yeah,” he murmurs. “I guess it is.”
He smiles, and I grudgingly return it.
? ? ?
He’s not at my house when I get home, but the coffee table is covered in bouquets of flowers. There’s one note in the middle.
Jo,
Forgive me,
I’ll be holding my breath until you do.
I love you.
I put down the note with a sigh, taking in the beautiful red roses. I’d told him they’re my favorite, and he obviously remembered. Even with the nice gesture, I’m glad that he’s not here, because I want some space and he must have realized that. I try to call my cousin again, but she doesn’t answer. It hurts to think that she and Helen are probably sitting there discussing me right now, and I’m trying not to think about it too much. The pain from Ranger’s lie is also hitting me right in the gut, because the one thing I thought I could count on, I’m now thinking that maybe I can’t. The thought of him sleeping with her . . . I know it was a long time ago. He took her fucking virginity though, no wonder she never forgot about him!
You always remember your first.
And he kept that very important fact from me. How did he think that was okay? Did he think it would never come out? He made me look stupid, left me in the dark, and the bottom line is that he lied. On purpose.
How do I trust him now?
THIRTY-FIVE
Ranger
I WAIT and hope that the flowers make her reach out to me, but they don’t. I’m trying to give her a little bit of space tonight, but it’s not easy. All I want is to go to her house and demand that she forgive me. When Faye walks into the clubhouse with Asher on her hip, she looks at me and grins. “Haven’t seen you in a while.”
I hold my hand out and she passes me the baby. “I’ve been busy.”
“Doing what? Or should I say who?”
“If I ask you something, will you promise to never bring it up ever again?” I ask, rocking Asher in my arms as Faye rummages through the cupboards, looking for ingredients.
“Of course. What’s up?” she says, pausing and giving me her attention.
“If Sin hypothetically fucked up somehow, how could he make it up to you so that you forgive him quickly and without holding a grudge?” I ask, looking at Asher’s face instead of hers.
“Wait a minute, has Sin actually done something? Because I will kill him. Or is it you who’s fucked up and wants me to help you fix it?”
“The latter,” I admit, cringing. “I kind of omitted something to Jo. She found out. She’s pissed. How do I fix this so I’m back in her bed by tonight? And I’ve already tried flowers.”
“So you lied,” Faye states, slamming a cupboard harder than necessary. “What did you lie about, Ranger?”
“Nothing you need to know. Can you help me fix it or not?” I ask, not wanting to tell her about my taking Elizabeth’s virginity. No one else needs to know that.
“So you lied and sent flowers? Lying is a hard thing to overcome. I think you need to prove that you won’t lie again and that you can be trusted. Honesty is everything, Ranger. Lying is a hard thing for someone to forgive,” she says, scanning my face. “I wouldn’t take you for a liar, Ranger.”
“I’m not,” I growl, narrowing my gaze on her. “I didn’t want to hurt her, so I kept something from her. She found out and now I have to deal with the consequences.”
“You didn’t want to hurt her or you didn’t want to hurt your chances with her?” she asks, sitting up on the counter.
“Both,” I admit, passing Asher back to her as he starts crying.
“I don’t know, Ranger,” she says, tilting her head to the side, her long hair touching the table. “I think you need to have a good talk, an honest one, where you tell her why you did it and why you can guarantee you won’t do it again, along with a nice apology gesture.”
“Yeah, okay,” I say, racking my brain.
“There’s something I need to admit to you.”
I look to her, watching as she rocks Asher from side to side. “What?”
She takes a deep breath, then blurts out, “The reason I took Elizabeth’s case was that I already knew Jo was her cousin and I was going to ask her for a favor.”
I blink. “You’re ice-cold, you know that? And I hope you know you’re not asking her for shit.”
There’s no way I’d allow it. Faye can sort her shit out without bringing my woman into it.
“I know,” Faye says, smirking. “Trust me, I know. I just wanted to come clean about it. I wanted her to help me with a case I’m working on. She was the cop on call that night.”
“And you wanted her to what . . . lie about what she saw?” I guess, narrowing my eyes on her.
She shrugs but doesn’t elaborate.
I put my hands up. “You need to stop.”
“I’ve already stopped,” she says, lifting up her chin. “I like the girl, and she’s yours. Family first. I’m not going to mess things up for you.” She grins and adds, “Looks like you’ve done that all on your own.”
Right, back to the task at hand. I have to get Jo to forgive me. I miss her already, and her not forgiving me isn’t an option. She must be so hurt right now, and it fuckin’ kills me that I contributed to it.
I need to fix things.
Now.
? ? ?
“What are you doing here?” Elizabeth asks as she opens the door, her expression as sour as can be expected. “You’re the last person I want to see right now.”
“Well that makes two of us,” I say with extreme honesty. “But we need to talk. So we can do it at the door, or you can invite me in, but either way you’ll be listening to what I have to say.”