He immediately opened his eyes with a pained look in his glare like I had never seen before.
“Is he the cause of your makeover?” he accused, taking in my new appearance. “You’re not mine anymore. You’re his.”
I bowed my head not knowing how to reply. What was the right or wrong answer? I just shook my head, looking everywhere but at him.
“Did you hear any of my messages? Did you know how much I was hurting? How much I looked for you, like I did the first time you left me in Miami? I saw you everyday, Daisy. You may have not been real, but I still saw my girl. My Daisy. It was the main reason I used so fucking much. I stayed high to be near you.”
Tears streamed down my face, the ones I had been trying so hard to keep at bay.
“When I saw you with Esteban, it literally almost killed me. I died standing there watching him touch my girl, kissing the lips that I claimed as mine a long time ago. I’m not blaming you for my piss-poor decisions. I never meant for any of this to happen to us. I wanted to give you the world, Briggs. Everything you never had. The house, the white picket fence, a million shitlins running around the yard,” he chuckled, leaning forward to catch one of my tears.
“I love you more than anything in this world, baby. I lost sight of what was important. I fucked up, and I can’t take that back,” he paused, his voice breaking. “I’m no good for you. At least not right now. I can’t keep doing this to you. I love you too fucking much to not let you be happy. That’s why I OD’d. You deserve to be happy with or without me. I have to let you go even though it’s the last thing I want to fucking do right now.”
I wiped away the tears from my face, feeling like he just ripped out my heart and stomped all over it. I couldn’t fucking breathe.
“But none of that matters now. I have to let you go. Set you free. I love you. I’ll always fucking love you,” he added, making my heart explode.
I nodded unable to form words, but it didn’t matter because there was nothing left to say. We said everything that mattered.
I stood, turning to leave. He instantly grabbed my hand, pulling me into his arms. Before I even realized what was happening, I was sobbing against his chest with his strong arms wrapped around me, feeling him cry too.
“I’m sorry, baby. I know you hate those words, but I’m so fucking sorry for everything I put you through. I put us through. I ruined us when all you did was try to save us. Losing you will be my biggest regret in life. I love you so much, and I need you to please never ever forget that. Please…” he begged in a tone I had never heard from him before.
“I love you too, Austin,” I bellowed as he held me tighter.
I stayed there in his arms, both of us knowing this was our end. This was goodbye. I pulled away first, and he wiped away all my tears, kissing all along my face for the last time. I sucked in air that wasn’t available for the taking, standing to leave. His arms falling to his sides, empty. I made my way toward the door, trying like hell not to look back at his broken expression.
I didn’t want to remember him like that.
“Daisy,” he called out as I walked out the door.
I stopped, waiting on pins and needles for what he was going to say.
“Where did the name Briggs come from?”
I chuckled, grateful that he was trying to end this on a good note. For the both of us. I spun to face him.
“She’s Twilight Sparkle. It was a doll with bright purple hair that my parents wouldn’t buy for me. I was holding her at the grocery store the night they died. Her name was Briggs,” I said, for the first time.
I had never told anyone where the name came from.
“It was the last time I was happy, so I took her name.”
He smiled, taking me in.
Every last expression.
Every last movement.
Every last word.
Wanting to remember me anyway he could. I did the same. Giving him one last, beautiful smile. He caught it in the air and placed it near his heart. Exactly how I knew he would.
I turned back around.
And left.
Chapter 40
<>Austin<>
“Hi, my name is Austin Taylor, and I’m a drug addict,” I announced like I had done at every NA meeting I attended.
Except this one was different.