My girl.
She looked like the woman that now belonged to Esteban. Smiling, laughing, loving him, as if I never existed. Even in my dreams I was still haunted, tormented by the truth of my reality.
By the third day they allowed immediate family to visit with me. My parents were beyond disappointed and furious but relieved that I was still alive. I immediately admitted that I needed help that I couldn’t do this on my own. Realizing for the first time that I couldn’t do it alone. I needed my family, and my friends. The people that loved me, to help in my recovery.
I didn’t want to die, again. That was never my intention in the first place. I just didn’t want to feel pain anymore. Dying once was enough for me to come to terms with the fact that if I continued this lifestyle, I would end up being a part of a goddamn statistic with a sad fucking story.
My parents set me up with the best rehab facility in North Carolina, my treatment plan was going to be intense and I would be transferred into it in the next few days. It would become my new home for the next six months. My parents didn’t ask many questions, but I knew it was only a matter of time before everything was laid out on the table.
My demons were emerging from the darkness, coming into the light.
Over the last two days, they allowed the boys and Alex to visit. They were on the same page as my parents. I think everyone was just fucking relieved that I was still here and had a second chance at life. I hadn’t asked for Briggs. I knew now more than ever that she fucking hated me. My mom told me she was the one that found me and she was the reason I was alive.
She saved my life.
Again.
The last thing I remembered was seeing her with Esteban. The image would be forever ingrained in my mind. Burned into my soul.
My mistakes. My choices My weaknesses.
Cost me the love of my life.
She unknowingly slipped through my grasps. That was the hardest pill for me to swallow. Seeing her move on was my rock bottom.
She was now the one that got away.
It was the last day of my hospital stay before I was discharged to the rehab facility. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t scared of my future and everything it had in store for me.
A life without Briggs.
I shut my eyes, needing a moment of clarity. A few seconds to calm my plaguing thoughts.
“I love you, Daisy. I’ll always love you. No matter what.”
She smiled. “I know. I’m yours.”
I immediately opened my eyes sensing her presence. There she was, standing by the open door, her dark brown hair flowing all around her face. She was a sight for sore eyes, wearing jeans with a sweater and her favorite tattered Chucks. She looked so tired like she hadn’t slept in days. Once again I was the reason for her discomfort and pain. Dark circles were prominent under her swollen eyes.
She was still so fucking beautiful.
Beautifully broken.
“Hey,” she announced, barely above a whisper.
I smiled. I couldn’t help it. “Hey,” I rasped.
We both stared at each other, lost in our own thoughts. I looked over at my sitter with a pleading expression. I couldn’t be left alone. They even had cameras set up in my room, watching my every move. The nurse was in there with all my visitors, overhearing every private conversation. I silently prayed she would grant my request this one time.
She met my eyes, and then peered back at Briggs.
“You’re Briggs?” she stated, raising her eyebrows.
“Yes.”
“He owes you his life, young lady.” She nodded toward me.
“In a way, I owe him my life, too. So I guess we’re even,” Briggs said out of nowhere, bringing my attention back to her.
“You have twenty minutes. I’m going to get some coffee, and I will be standing right outside that door. No funny business, okay?”
I held up three fingers. “Scouts honor.”
She left, closing the door behind her. Briggs didn’t move from where she was standing against the wall. The craving to hold her was as powerful as the craving to use had been.
Both were deadly for me.
“Your hair,” I coaxed, nodding to her, breaking the silence between us.
She smiled, grabbing the ends and looking down at them.
“Yeah,” she simply stated not elaborating any further.
Awkward silence filled the space between us.
“You still have your tattoos, right?” I chuckled.
She nodded never breaking eye contact, finally asking, “So, how do you feel?” Like she’d been waiting to ask since she found me in the warehouse.
I shrugged. “Like shit. Which is better than I deserve. You’re looking at me like I’m going to break or something, Briggs.”
She shook her head, looking down at the ground. I immediately regretted saying something.
“You weren’t breathing, Austin. I couldn’t feel your heart, your pulse. You died right in front of me.” She rubbed her forehead, deeply sighing as if she was reliving it all over again in her mind.