Still, none of them moved.
A doctor. A PA. And a nurse.
And all three of them stared at me with blank faces.
I can’t believe I was having to do this all myself!
My body started to do what it was made to do, and soon I could do nothing but push and hope they got with the game.
Because seriously, it fucking hurt!
“Ahhhh! Michael get your fucking head out of your ass and catch this fucking kid!” I screamed.
Michael finally came unstuck and put his doctor hat on…or at least his thinking cap anyway.
He moved between my legs, then asked the stupidest question on earth at that point.
“Should I put on gloves?”
I would’ve kicked him had I not been holding onto my legs.
Instead, I closed my eyes, pushed, and daydreamed about shooting our kid out of my vagina and hitting him with her.
Which seemed good in theory, but probably not good for real.
My mind didn’t really care at that point.
“How come nobody waited for your family to arrive…ahhhh! My eyes!” Nico screamed, covering his eyes as he got a good look at my vagina.
I would be embarrassed…later.
Right now, I couldn’t muster up the ability to care, though.
“Move out of the way, hijo. I’ve got to get in there!” My mother yelled.
I didn’t look at her either.
I couldn’t.
My eyes were on Michael as he did things between my legs that I hoped he and I could both forget later on.
Then I swear to you, he stuck his hand into my vagina and I saw stars…and not the good kind.
“Owww! What the ever loving fuck, Michael!” I shrieked.
“The cord was around her neck,” he rumbled softly. “All better now. Push again when you feel the next contraction.”
I pushed again at the next contraction. But not because he’d said to. Because I needed to. My body wouldn’t let me not do it.
“Owww, ow, ow, ow, ow,” I chanted over and over again.
“Would you grow the fuck up, Nico?” Georgia asked, shoving him out of the doorway where he was still covering his eyes and facing the opposite direction of me and my ‘big ‘ol vagina.’
Georgia came to my side and swept my hair back off my face.
“You’re doing good, almost done,” she soothed.
I nodded, panting as the worst pain yet washed over me.
“Fuck!”
“Language, hija,” my mother admonished from my other side.
When had she gotten there?
“The head’s out,” Hannah and Lennox said at the same time, standing at the end of the bed and looking at the humongous child that was trying to come out and being incredibly slow about it. “Your amniotic sac is still intact.”
Then, suddenly, in a great rush of relief, our baby slid out.
Michael made a hook with his finger and broke the amniotic sac, and suddenly I could hear my baby, who was very unhappy with being forced from her comfy, warm home. By her daddy no less.
“Alright, Nikki! Let’s get this baby delivered! Son, move out of the way!” Dr. Mead ordered Nico.
Once Nico moved, though, he came to a stop. “Well, I sure didn’t expect this! For your first child no less!”
I laughed.
What else could I do?
“I’ve never seen that before,” Hannah said in awe.
“Me neither,” Lennox agreed.
“Oh, my God, she’s beautiful!” Georgia cried softly at my side.
“Can I look yet?” Nico whined.
“Alright, let’s get this placenta delivered. Daddy, are you going to cut the cord?” Dr. Mead asked jovially.
I moved my eyes away from our daughter to Michael, who was staring at her in awe.
“Yeah, I think I will,” he rasped.
Lennox handed him the hemostats to clamp the cord, and then a pair of scissors once he’d done that.
Then, with the utmost care, he carried our little girl over to the warmer, where a team of nurses were already set up waiting for her.
When they’d arrived, I don’t know, but they were there.
And I was so happy I could scream.
I delivered the placenta, and waited for them to bring the baby to me.