“Sure. We’ve been to the doctor and set her up with a therapist, and he’s prescribed her some pills.” He shrugged. “Some days, it works. In fact, her good days are starting to outweigh the bad, but damn, those rare bad days are getting worse than ever. I don’t know if it’s her depression desperately trying to cling on or what, but those days really suck.”
I held my breath, bracing for him to tell me about the argument he’d had to settle Saturday night, but when he didn’t, I realized that was okay. I almost respected him more for preserving Noel and Aspen’s privacy.
“I bet that makes it hard for you to live there,” I murmured, playing with his hair.
He turned his face and studied me as I sifted my fingers through his silky locks. “They pulled me out of hell,” he said simply. “Then they raised me as one of their own in a new world full of amazing shit I never thought I’d possibly have. I owe my entire life to those two. So trust me, I’m more than happy to help them any way I can.”
Holy shit.
I stared at him, almost seeing a new person and yet the same one I’d known for almost a year. He was most definitely still flirty, carefree Colton, and yet he was more. So much more.
It was like he didn’t want anyone to know he was more, though. He hid his depths from people, like a magician. Sleight of hand, trick of the eye, smoke and mirrors. He stood in front of the crowd, making a big production with colorful scarves and wands, and big black hats—or in his case, flirting egotistical smiles and inappropriate advances—while all the while he took your attention off what was really going on, right in front of your eyes, and concealed the very best parts of himself.
Eyebrows crinkling, he self-consciously demanded, “Why are you looking at me like that?”
I shook my head, not about to tell him what I’d just discovered. “No reason,” I murmured. I still wasn’t all that sure what to do with this newfound information anyway. It only made me like him more, made me want him more, made me want…just more. And that wasn’t what we’d agreed on.
If I didn’t watch myself, I was going to take all this “mine” business I kept saying whenever I thought of him, and I was going to get myself hurt.
“I’m just pleasantly surprised by your family devotion,” I said. Then I patted his chest as a way to help me not fall too deeply into the moment. With a sigh, I started to climb off the bed. “I’m going to go change into my pajamas. Be right back.”
I fled the room, needing a moment to adjust to what had just happened, or what I’d just realized about myself, which was that it was already too late to back off; I’d fallen for Colton Gamble completely.
JULIANNA’S CHAPTER | 22
My hands shook as I conditioned my hair and tied it up, and they continued to shake as I cleaned my face and changed into the sexiest pair of pajamas I owned.
Why were they shaking? I wasn’t sure. I mean, this wasn’t the first time I thought I was in love with a guy. I’d been positive Shaun had been the one, but look how that had ended. He’d been a slime ball. So honestly, I shouldn’t trust my emotions at all.
Things with Colton felt so different, though. I’d wanted to fall for Shaun; I’d fought it the entire time with Colton. Opening my heart to him seemed scary and bold and dangerous. I knew he could hurt me like no one else because I’d given him more weapons to do so…I’d freaking confided things to him. And if he wasn’t the one to hurt me, what would everyone else think about us being together? What if their scorn broke me?
Maybe Theo had been right. They were all looking down on me now. I mean, even my two best friends had been giving me a wide berth since Colton and I had started our affair. They might’ve acted supportive and curious before anything had ever happened, but now that it had, neither of them had demanded a single detail from me like they said they would. That worried me; just not enough to give up on what I had with Colton.
He was worth it. He was worth the objections we’d probably receive from both our families and possibly even our friends. He was worth the heartbreak I was almost certain would come. He was worth all of it.
I just wasn’t sure if he felt that way too, or if he was still just having fun with me.
One thing was certain, I couldn’t ask him. I was too scared to learn whether all this was unrequited or not.
Deciding I’d just wing it and continue having fun like we were, see where things went from here, I returned to the bedroom, a little giddy when I saw his shoes on the floor as I opened the door.
He hadn’t left yet. That thrilled me to no end.
He snickered from my bed as I shut the door behind me.
“What’s so funny?” I asked before I realized he was lying on his stomach but had the upper half of his torso propped up on his forearms as he read from my Kindle. I pulled in a sharp, embarrassed gasp. No! “Are you reading my book?”