Ten snickered. “You really need to stop this obsession you have with my asshole, asshole. That belongs to your sister. And speaking of licking, who’s been licking yours? You’re fucking glowing like you just got your cherry popped.”
When my mouth fell open and I could only gape at him, he lifted his eyebrows in surprise. “Really?” he said, sounding shocked. “Well, congratulations, buddy.” He slapped me companionably on the back. “I mean, it’s a little late for you to be losing your v-card because what are you, now, thirty-eight? But it was sweet of some chick to throw you a pity fuck. She must’ve been a real trooper.”
“I wasn’t a virgin, you dick. And that was yesterday. How...?” I shook my head, completely flabbergasted over how he’d been able to figure out so much from just looking at me.
His brow quirked again with another bout of shock. “No shit? All this is from way back to yesterday, huh?” He circled his hand around my face. “And it wasn’t even your first time? Fuck, she must be the one.”
I blinked. “The what?”
“The one,” he repeated, stressing the word this time as if that explained everything. When I only shook my head, clueless, he sighed and rolled his eyes. “You know, the one. The fucking one. Like Caroline is my one. Shakespeare is Gam’s one. Hot Wheels is Butthead’s one.”
I stared at him a moment before bursting out with, “You’re out of your fucking mind.” While inside, something jumped, something a little panicked but also a little excited.
“And you’re fucking sweating, kid, because you know I’m right.”
“Whatever. You can’t tell that kind of shit after one round of sex.” Okay, technically two rounds...or about six if you wanted to count how many orgasms I’d given her. Because, holy shit, those totally counted in my book.
Ten snorted. “The fuck you can’t tell. Haven’t you heard those songs about it being in his kiss? That’s how you can tell if you love him, or whatever. Well, that’s the chick’s version. The dude’s version would be more like, it’s in her pussy. That’s how you tell.”
“You’re fucking whack,” I told him with all seriousness. “I can’t believe someone actually let you have a kid.” Okay, I wasn’t so serious about that—he was a decent dad—but everything he was saying about sex...totally whack.
It had to be.
Ten only shrugged with a look that told me to go ahead and believe what I wanted; he was still right. “I’m just telling you, you can tell.” Caroline walked into the room and his gaze immediately found her. “Yeah, you can definitely fucking tell,” he murmured appreciatively. “You’re just too chicken shit to admit it to yourself.”
“So...?” Caroline grinned, rubbing her hands together as she approached us. She had two bags—a camera bag and laptop satchel—looped over her shoulder. “Did you get it all out of your system yet?” she asked her husband.
He shook his head, staring at her. “I’ll never get you out of my system.”
Her face bloomed with pleasure, her cheeks brightening with a healthy glow as she grinned. Then she shook her head and laughed. “I meant did you get your incessant need to cuss out of your system, you crazy man.”
“Oh.” He winked at her. “Yeah, that neither.”
He kissed her again, and I groaned.
“God, you guys really make me puke in my mouth sometimes, you know that?”
Caroline laughed and finally turned her attention to me. “You’ll understand someday, bubba.” Then she leaned up to kiss my cheek only to pause and blink as she studied my face. “You look different today, like you’re extra happy or content, or I don’t know. But it’s like you’re glowing or something.”
When Ten burst out laughing, I glared and flipped him off. “Shut it, fucker.”
Caroline glanced between us, clearly confused. “What did I miss?”
Ten leaned in to kiss the side of her neck. “Just boy talk, baby.”
“That means sex stuff.” She immediately shifted away from me and wrinkled her nose. “Eww, I don’t want to hear anymore, especially if it has to do with my baby brother.”
“It does,” I said, immediately shutting down her curiosity because if she thought I was serious about some girl, she’d spread the rumor through the family in a heartbeat, and it’d reach Brandt within the hour. “On another note, I have a cooking Vine idea,” I added, and bam, she was successfully diverted.
Eyes lighting with excitement, she cheered, “Yay. I love the kitchen skits. What’s your idea?”
“Well…”