All I could do was stare at my entire adult life represented in skirts, bras and tops. Where to even begin?
Aubrey let out a muffled squeal from under a maternity shirt. I pulled it off her and she beamed. Silly girl. I rubbed the pale blue stretchy cotton between my fingers. This was the shirt I was wearing when I first felt her kick.
“That’s enough, little missy,” I said, plopping her into her jumparoo hanging in the doorway. She began pushing off the floor with her footie-pajamaed legs, launching herself into the air and then bouncing back again. They really should make those for adults.
I dragged four large storage containers into the room from the hallway. Time to organize.
An hour later, Aubrey was asleep in her playpen and I snapped the last storage container shut. On my bed were six pairs of black stretch pants, eight tank tops, two dresses and four sweatshirts. That’s it. That’s all I wear. I basically had the wardrobe (but not the body!) of a yoga instructor.
Now the big question: What to do with the two humongous storage containers of clothes that either a) not even a 10-day juice cleanse would get me into or b) are impractical for my life as a stay-at-home mom? Giving them away seems hasty. What if I go back to work?
And my maternity wardrobe cost a small fortune. I bought it before I knew how much formula cost. Even if I didn’t intend to get pregnant again, I should at least try to sell it. Yes, that’s what I’d do, I decided. Not today, obviously. I’d already overextended myself. If anyone had earned a break, it was me.
I quietly pushed the storage containers into the hall, knowing that David would move them to the garage as soon as he got tired of tripping over them.
All in all, I felt like I’d aced the day. Maybe I didn’t get rid of anything, but I did move it all around, which counts for something.
8 P.M.
David was working late again, so with Aubrey sleeping soundly, tuckered out from another splashy bath, I took the opportunity to learn a little more about my Motherhood Better Bootcamp competitors. While we’re buddy-buddy on the conference calls, at the end of the day, we all want to take home the $100,000 grand prize.
Based on their Motherhood Better community posts and profiles, I think I know who’ll be the biggest competition.
Fiona Martin: mom of three. Despite probably being up to her armpits in diapers, during the craft challenge she learned how to jar fresh tomatoes from her garden and crocheted hats for an entire neonatal intensive care unit.
Janice Paulsen: mom of three girls ages three months, four, and six. She took the body challenge and ran with it. Literally. She completed her first marathon last week and is launching her own line of weightlifting DVDs for postpartum moms.
And last, but not least, Samantha Davidson: mom of two-year-old Henry. I knew her face looked familiar. Samantha’s a hugely popular mom blogger. Her website, Homestead Mama, is full of gorgeous photos of her ranch and horses, and her down-home country recipes.
I can’t even look at her dishes after 9 p.m. They say her macaroni and cheese changes lives. What is she doing in this competition? Every other pic on her blog is of her beautiful son running through wheat fields in overalls with a red bandana around his neck and a cowboy hat sitting atop his golden ringlets. I read all of her Motherhood Better journal entries and she’s completing them perfectly. For the marriage challenge she took it a step further by organizing a massive in-hospital date night for pregnant moms on bed rest. It was catered by a Mexican restaurant and she even hired a mariachi band.
I know I said I wasn’t only in it for the grand prize, but I’ve been thinking of what I could do with $100,000...anyway, it’s out of the question for me unless I can figure out a way to make myself stand out—and fast.
Wednesday, February 27, Middle of the Night Sometime / Too Tired to Care Establishing a sleep schedule is vital, not only for your child, but for your own well-being. Thanks to the Family Bed, all five of my children slept through the night by three days old.
—Emily Walker, Motherhood Better Aubrey woke up again. That’s four times in one night, not that I’m counting. I refuse to look at the clock right now. I don’t even want to know what time it is.
I’ve tried everything to help her teething: an amber tree sap necklace that the woman with henna tattoos on her arms at the health store promised would work like a miracle, aspirin and mouth-numbing cream. I even tried homeopathic remedies, although David said they’re practically water. At this point I’ll give anything a shot.
Nothing is working. I’m starting to wonder if something more serious is wrong with her. I’m researching online now. Maybe something terrible is wrong in her body. Like a tumor. Here I am, worried about my sleep, when my baby’s kidneys are being squished by tumors.
To: Dr. Ross
From: Ashley Keller
Subject: Emergency Appointment Dear Dr. Ross,
I know it’s late, but I couldn’t find your home or cell phone online anywhere. I’d like to set up an emergency full-body scan for Aubrey first thing in the morning. She’s been screaming all night and something is seriously wrong. Attached are 47 pages of my findings.
Thank you.
Ashley
To: Ashley Keller
From. Dr. Cynthia Ross, Pediatrics Subject: Re: Emergency Appointment Hello Ashley,
I’m sorry to hear that Aubrey isn’t feeling well. She seemed fine at her last appointment. It sounds like she’s teething and possibly going through a growth spurt. I went over your “findings” (which seemed to be links to various blogs and obscure pseudo-scientific medical websites) and would like you to stop Googling her symptoms.
Full body scans are not done on children Aubrey’s age, nor does she need one.
I suggest Tylenol and something cold to chew on, like a frozen washcloth.
As for my home and cell phone numbers, I don’t give those out to patients. You are free to leave a message at the office or email me anytime. As always, in a (true) emergency, don’t hesitate to call 911.
Take care,
Dr. Cynthia Ross
To: Dr. Ross
From: Ashley Keller
Subject: Re: Re: Emergency Appointment Thank you so much for the advice. Did you happen to check out any of those links? I’m wondering if the connection between dust mites and molar pain have any substance to them? I already purchased the dust mite elimination ray advertised and plan to sweep the whole house with it. They’re on sale for $399 if you’re interested in one for the office.
If I had your cell phone number it would much easier to just text you the direct link. I would only use it in emergencies like this, and wouldn’t give your number to anyone else.
Aubrey’s settled down a bit. Most of her crying is done at night. Do you make night appointments? House calls? Like in old movies?
Ashley
To: Ashley Keller