Confessions of a Domestic Failure

He drew his hand back. “It’s not. Not unless I can land this DentaFresh deal. If we don’t get this business...” His voice trailed off, and from the way he looked around the house, I understood.

I felt helpless. Maybe I should have looked harder for a job. No wonder he blew up about the dress. “I’ll spend less money. I can take the dress back.”

He rubbed his forehead. I’d never seen him this stressed. “I’ll figure something out. In the meantime...if I have to work late—”

“It’s no problem. Work as much as you need to. I’m here.”

I rubbed his back. Everything was going to be okay. It had to be okay.

I took his hand and looked him dead in the eye, “David. I believe in you.”

He stared at me for a moment before putting his hand gently on my cheek.

“I love you. And your body,” he whispered into my ear.

He kissed me. I leaned into his kiss and felt my heart flutter the way it used to. I heard him sigh and we both giggled.

He rested his temple on mine and drew me close. “Why, Mrs. Keller... I don’t think we’ve kissed like that for a while.”

I lifted my arms over his shoulders and locked them around his neck. “I guess you should stand me up more often.”

He laughed his deep quiet laugh and wrapped his arms around my waist. “May I interest you in a date right now? Party of two.”

“Maybe,” I said, teasing.

“Fair enough. But first, I have something for you.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a rectangular black jewelry box. My eyes grew to the size of dinner plates. I thought he’d forgotten.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Ash.”

I blinked back a few tears as I opened the box. Inside was a gold locket attached to a gorgeous braided-gold necklace.

“David,” I said, holding the necklace up. “It’s beautiful.”

I opened the locket. Inside, the date was engraved and three sparkling stones gleamed in the dim light of the hallway.

“Those are our birthstones. You, me and Aubrey. So that we’re always together and right next to your heart.”

That did it. A waterfall of feelings poured out of my face. I blubbered while he helped me put the necklace on.

He spun me toward him and kissed me again. I felt a tingle run up my spine.

“So,” I began coyly, “how about we have that date right now, but skip straight to dessert.”





Saturday, February 16, 11 A.M.

Marriage is a partnership. My husband has supported me on my journey to creating a worldwide brand from day one. He even helps me pick out Instagram filters.

—Emily Walker, Motherhood Better

Aubrey clapped her hands and jumped up and down in her exersaucer as I played peekaboo with her. Every time my eyes closed behind my hands I fought the urge to fall asleep right there on the floor. She woke up four times last night and the day was creeping by. I was on my third cup of coffee, but my mind was still a thick fog.

All I could think about, other than how utterly exhausted I felt, was David. How could I be so blind? And selfish? Here David was trying to get his company up and going, and I was angry because he wasn’t home for dinner. I couldn’t imagine the amount of pressure he was under every day to make this work. He was so brave—he could have stayed at Paulson International and eventually become CEO, but instead he chose to build something for himself...for all of us.

Aubrey squealed as I popped out from behind my hands and made a silly face. I pulled her out of the exersaucer and put her in her Pack ’n Play surrounded by toys. Maybe she’d entertain herself for a few minutes while I sprawled across the living room floor.

No dice. As soon as I put her down she started wailing, her arms outstretched. I picked her up and fought back tired tears. It wasn’t even noon.

My thoughts returned to David as I sat on the couch, Aubrey squirming in my lap, trying to pull my hair out of its messy bun. I hoped he got the DentaFresh account.

I feel so useless at home, just frittering the day away with Aubrey when I could be helping him succeed. There has to be something I can do; after all, this business is the family business and it’s not like I don’t have experience in marketing.

“Think, Ashley, think,” I said to myself. After a night of almost no sleep, my mind felt like a muddy pond, but I was determined.

And then, an idea.

When I was with Weber & Associates, one of the ways I used to encourage potential clients to sign with us was by hinting that a competitor was interested in our services.

Maybe that’s what DentaFresh needed: a little healthy encouragement. I grabbed my laptop.

It took me all of two minutes to find their press contact and make up a bogus email account.

To: Cynthia Burton, [email protected]

From: Rebecca Squash, [email protected]

Subject: Upcoming Dental Seminar

Hello Cynthia,

My name is Rebecca Squash.

I’m a reporter with a small regional newspaper looking for a quote from DentaFresh regarding marketing trends in the oral hygiene industry. Do you have any news you’d like to share? We’re reaching out to the All White toothpaste brand, as well. According to reports, they’re collaborating with new firms such as Keller & Associates to come up with innovative campaigns next quarter. We would love to hear your thoughts on the matter.

Best,

Rebecca

I smiled at the screen. So, is this what spies feel like? I felt both satisfied and utterly pleased with myself. It was just like old times in the office, except this time I’d completed a task with a baby batting at my face. Back in the day, my superiors used to praise me for my resourcefulness when it came to making things happen. It’s just like Emily always says, “Opportunity waits for no mom.”

The day felt like it couldn’t get any better. The only thing left to do was stop by the grocery store.


8 P.M.

Grocery stores should have signs in front of them for new moms that read like this:

Dear valued shopper, if you are entering this store with a young child, please know that you will lose your mind. If you should find yourself in an aisle having a complete nervous breakdown, find a customer service agent who will promptly hand you a square of our finest chocolate and small glass of pinot grigio. You will then be led to one of our several massage rooms while your child is taken to our state-of-the-art nursery. We will happily finish your shopping for you and deliver your groceries to your home.

I made the mistake of taking Aubrey on a post-nap errand today. Aren’t naps supposed to relax babies? Aubrey woke up the Chucky-doll version of herself.

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