“Because I really like shower sex, and there’s no way I’d rush it enough for you to get to work on time.”
I pout my lips in mock-frustration and he answers me by kissing them, spinning me around to face the door, and smacking my ass lightly. I oblige and grab my things, then head out of the bedroom to shower.
Once the scalding water has done its best to wake me and I’ve fixed myself up, I step out of the bathroom where Nate waits like a tag-partner, high-fiving me as he steps into the steam. I get dressed and shuffle like a zombie towards the kitchen, where Lorelei is standing over the countertop, cutting up fruit.
“I made you coffee. A big latte for you, and an espresso of that strong Italian stuff that Nate likes.”
I thump my palms to my chest in a gesture of deep gratitude before wrapping my arm around her shoulder and planting a sloppy kiss on her cheek.
“You’re the best, Lorelei.”
She raises an eyebrow before turning back to the grapefruit.
“I don’t know…the way you made Nate shout last night has me doubting my abilities.”
I try not to laugh as I take a sip of coffee and lean against the counter.
“I’m sorry if we’re loud…”
“It’s okay, at least somebody in this apartment is getting more action than watching ‘Bad Boy’ videos.”
“Is he still a thing?” I say, snatching an orange segment from Lorelei’s bowl.
“‘Still a thing’?” Lorelei says, turning to look at me with so much incredulity I feel like I’ve just offended her. “The guy’s hotter than ever now. Totally blew up. And his last few videos have been insane – you need to see the vlog he did all about different sex toys for women. You should totally watch it with Nate, get some ideas.”
I almost spit out my coffee. “Lorelei!”
She shrugs. “Just saying. He’s not going anywhere.”
“Too bad,” I murmur, frowning with disappointment. “Why the sudden explosion?”
“You really didn’t hear?” Lorelei says, invested enough in the conversation now that she turns to me and jabs the knife as she makes her points so much that I take a step back. “What happened was that about a month ago his blog went dark. Just like that. No announcement, no uploads, nothing. And this is a guy who’s put out two or three videos at least every single week for years now.”
I roll my eyes. “I’m sure people were upset.”
“You bet they were,” Lorelei says, too enthusiastic to recognize my sarcasm. “It caused a total frenzy. People were all, ‘Where did he go?’ ‘Is he dead?’ ‘Did he settle down?’ The internet blew up over him for a while, trying to track him down and figure out who he really was. People posted thinkpieces about how he was a symbol of moral decay in this country. Then thinkpieces about the thinkpieces saying he was some pioneer of a new kind of sexuality. Disappearing only made people want him more.”
“Were there any articles that said he might just be a pathetic guy who screws girls who don’t know better and then brags about it online like a douchebag?”
Lorelei brushes my comment aside with a roll of her eyebrows before continuing.
“Anyway, then he came back suddenly – and with a bang. I mean, he was a sexy beast before, but now?” Lorelei makes as if she’s fanning herself. “You can just see it, he’s really getting down and dirty now. Something’s changed – and let me tell you, I like it.”
Lorelei exhales deeply then smiles as if just talking about him has made her hot, before turning back to assaulting her fruit.
“I don’t get it,” I say, after a moment of really trying to understand. “What is he even talking about on there? It can’t just be all bragging, what’s the point of that?”
“Well,” Lorelei says, to the sound of chopping, “last night, for instance, he posted an amazing tutorial video about anal sex. If all guys did it like that, no girl would ever say no.”
“Huh,” I say, wondering at the coincidence for a second. “Is that all? Because I bet I can find you a dozen guys sitting in bars tonight who are probably talking about that.”
Lorelei huffs at my sarcasm. “It’s not just sex, Jessie. He gets it. He can take something like anal sex and make it sound passionate, forbidden, exciting. It’s not like he’s about just ‘sticking this, there’ – when he talks he makes it about power, about opening your boundaries with another person and trusting them, about embracing your nasty, dark, repressed inner self and allowing someone else to as well. And, of course, he’s unbelievably hot.”
“Right,” I groan dismissively.
Lorelei shakes her head as she scoops the rinds from the counter into her hand.
“What are you guys talking about?” Nate says, entering the kitchen while wrestling with his tie.
“The inexplicably continuing success of ‘Confessions of a Bad Boy,’” I say, cynically looking at Lorelei.
Nate turns away as he grabs his espresso and takes a long sip, then looks at us.