“It’s fucking Kyle!” she hisses quietly.
I don’t need to hear anything else. I leap into action as we both scramble around the room for our clothes.
The doorbell rings again, making both of us search even more frantically.
“What the fuck?!” I cry-whisper as I strain to pull a sock out from under her bed. “He wasn’t supposed to be here for another two days!”
“You think I don’t know that?!” Jessie says, before realizing she put her skirt on backwards and taking it off again. “You think I’d invite you here if I wasn’t absolutely fucking certain that Kyle wouldn’t be within a fifty-mile radius?! Where’s my bra?”
I scan the floor for it as I stick my arm in the wrong shirt-hole three times in a row. The doorbell rings again.
“Maybe I should hide in the closet? Or under the bed?”
Jessie tightens her lips and scowls at me.
“Sure, because we live in a teen comedy and that would actually fucking work.”
Jessie goes to the mirror and quickly fusses her clothes and hair out of its ‘mid-fuck’ messiness while I button up my shirt and try to tuck the part she tore into my pants. Kyle calls her name from out in the hallway, and Jessie darts towards the door.
“Jessie, wait!”
She stops and turns to me, the whites of her eyes big and round. I reach behind her and tug out a bit of her skirt that got tucked up into her panties, and she sets back off into the hall.
“Kyle! What are you doing here?” I hear her say as I take my turn fixing myself up in front of the mirror.
“God damnit Jessie, I’ve been ringing for five minutes. It’s good to see you.”
“At least you’re in a good mood.”
“Ah,” Kyle replies, as I hear him dragging something into the apartment. “I’m sorry. It was just a really shitty trip, and my place is still tented for termites even though they were supposed to be done days ago. Is it okay if I crash here for the night?”
I take Kyle’s desperate question as a good cue to step out into the hallway.
“Hey, buddy!” I say, already holding out my hand for a shake.
“Nate? What are you here for?” His eyes narrow, and I struggle for composure.
“Um, Nate came to…” Jessie says slowly, her voice going up a few octaves. “He came to…uh…help me. Move…furniture?”
Kyle looks from Jessie to me and back to Jessie again, the lines in his face spelling out ‘unconvinced.’
“Why are you moving furniture? It looks the same in here as last time I saw it.”
“I just…” Jessie continues, her voice so nasal and high-pitched now she sounds like she might take off.
“It’s okay, Jessie,” I say, my tone serious and heavy. “We should tell him the truth.”
“Nate,” Jessie snaps quickly, before making a threatening face at me.
“What truth?” Kyle asks, his voice booming with indignant power.
“The truth about why I’m here.”
“Nate! For fuck’s sake! Shut up!”
“It’s alright,” I say, holding my hand up. “He’ll find out eventually anyway.”
“Oh God,” Jessie says, covering her face with her hands.
“Find out what?” Kyle growls, on the verge of anger now as his eyes dart back and forth between us.
“I’m not here to help Jessie move furniture,” I say, regaining my calm. Jessie lets out a mumbled ‘no’ through her hands. “I’m here to protect her from her ex-boyfriend.”
“What?!” Kyle shouts, turning to Jessie, who drops her hands away in order to stare daggers at me. “Is that true?”
“Uh…yeah,” Jessie says through gritted teeth, her eyes conveying the revenge she wishes to take out on me later.
“Turns out you were right, Kyle,” I say, puffing up my chest a little. “That guy she was seeing turned out to be another loser. Another no-good jerk. I spoke with Jessie – like you asked me to – and she decided to take your advice and break up with him.” Jessie tightens every muscle in her face, her eyes shooting full-on laser beams at me. “He didn’t take it too well, and Jessie got a little scared, so I’ve been coming over to make sure he doesn’t show up. And if he is stupid enough to show up,” I end the sentence by punching a fist into my palm and nodding.
“Good looking out, dude,” Kyle says, smacking my shoulder as he walks past me, dragging his luggage into the living room.
Taking advantage of the brief second we’re alone, Jessie casts me one more devastating look that says, ‘did you have to make me take the fall?’ I shrug back a gesture that says, ‘it got us out of it, right?’ and turn back to join Kyle in the living room.
“So what happened on the trip?” I ask, as Kyle drops back onto the couch.
“Ah,” he replies, waving the question away, “it was a shitshow. The client fired me. I’m not in a mood to talk about it.”
“Fair enough,” I say, “I should get going anyway, now that you’re here. Hoops on Sunday?”
Kyle shrugs and smiles. “Nothing better to do, now. See you then.”