I chuckled. “I think they have far better things to worry about.”
Rowan shook his head. “You have no idea how exceptional you are, do you?”
A blush bloomed along my neck. How I hated this kind of attention. My old Mother Superior always said I was a strong mage. But with so many of my Brothers and Sisters gone, who was to say what was truly exceptional? I fiddled with the neckline of my nightshirt, anxious for a change of subject. “How did I get changed into this?”
“I gave the job to one of the female guards.”
My blush deepened. “Not you?”
A hungry look shone in his eyes. “Would you have wanted me to?”
For a moment, panic shot through my body. Yes, I’d wanted to change the subject, but did I really mean to veer it into the territory of Rowan seeing me naked?
The answer rang through every corner of my consciousness.
Yes, yes I did.
Some small part of me screamed that I was giving in to my impulsive nature. This was a classic act of a Necromancer who was zuchtlos and out of control.
Most of me didn’t care.
“Yes, I would have wanted you to.” I swallowed hard. “I still do.”
Rowan sat back up, closing the distance between us. “Show me.”
His voice had a rough edge, and it made my mind unhinge. My zuchtlos nature grew stronger. In one swift movement, I gripped the edge of my nightshirt, pulled it over my head, and tossed it aside. The coverlet lay loose around my waist, and my long black hair hung over my breasts. My cotton pantalets were the only thing I wore now. My Necromancer side made one last attempt to bring me under control. The words of my training mantra rang through my mind.
You should ashamed of your weakness.
You should always be modest.
You should never be attracted to a man.
And maybe the training was right, yet I didn’t care anymore. All I wanted was Rowan. Now, he knew that without question.
Desire burned in Rowan’s green eyes. Slowly, he reached forward. His fingertips softly brushed against my cheek. After that, his gentle touch ran down my neck. Everywhere he touched, he left behind a line of heat. My core tightened. I might be a virgin, yet ever since I’d met Rowan, thoughts of his body had haunted me. Making love with him had always seemed like the most natural thing in the world.
“You’re so beautiful.” Rowan slowly ran his hand across my shoulder. He guided my hair so it hung down my back and exposed my right breast. My nipple puckered with cold. Rowan watched the change; his gaze darkened with want. I loved it. “By the Gods, Elea.” Suddenly, Rowan’s mouth was on mine. His lips were everything soft and delicious. Our tongues slid across each other in a luscious dance that set my heart pounding.
Our kiss turned fierce. Instinct took over. I didn’t know who shifted, but soon I was on my back with Rowan braced above me. Our mouths tangled in a deepening kiss while his hard length pressed against me. Only a thin layer of leather and cotton separated us. I reached down his chest, greedily soaking in the feel of his velvet-soft skin over firm muscle. My fingertips played along the waistband of his leathers.
Rowan stilled. “What are we doing?”
“I want this. I want you.”
He slowly shook his head. “I can’t. Not here. Not yet.” He slipped off me and rose to stand. “I still have duties, Elea.”
I sat up and clutched the sheet against my naked torso. The haze of lust left my mind. What just happened? I threw myself at Rowan, and now he was walking away.
I’m not only zuchtlos, I’m terrible at it.
“I don’t know what you mean, Rowan.” My voice cracked as I spoke.
Rowan moved so quickly he was a blur. One moment, he was standing by the door. The next, Rowan scooped me onto his lap and began kissing my hair. “It means we belong together. I’m going to fight for that. Believe me when I say that it will happen, just not right now.” He set his knuckle under my chin, guiding me closer. Our gazes met. Everything open, honest, and good in this world shone through his eyes. “Do you believe me?”
Here, in his arms, there was no question in my mind. “I do.”
“I have to go. What will you do?”
“Find Amelia. Ask her where Ada and the others might be hidden.” I exhaled a long breath. “There’s nothing else for it. We can only begin the search anew. I have a day left. I’ll simply make the most of it.”
“I wish I could help you, but I’ve duties of my own today.” He squeezed me a little tighter. I decided that the lands of Sire of Souls could disappear—being held against Rowan’s bare chest was heaven.
I shifted in his arms. “I should start now.”
“As your healer, I’d say you’re in no shape to do that. Give yourself a little time, Elea. Only an hour or so, and you can leave.”
“If you’re sure.”
“Certain.”
Everything was so warm and cozy. My eyes drifted shut. “Perhaps I’ll nap a bit, then.”