I sat bolt upright. “What are you doing here?”
“She speaks.” Rowan grinned, stretched, and laced his fingers behind his head. The movement highlighted the heavy ropes of muscle that wound along his arms. My stomach fell to my toes. This was bad. Had I gone on some kind of drinking bender and forgotten? No, I never took spirits. Perhaps I was still asleep.
A dream. That was all this was. I simply needed to wake up.
Easy enough.
I pinched my forearm, hard. Pain shot across my skin. Rowan didn’t disappear. I pinched myself again. “Ouch.”
Rowan frowned, yet there was plenty of humor in his expression. “Why are you doing that, exactly?”
“Because I’m really asleep.” So I pinched myself again. And it hurt again.
This was worse than bad. It was a disaster.
Rowan chuckled. “No, Elea. You’re definitely awake. What’s more, you’re now speaking in full sentences. I consider that great progress.” He shifted his gaze to the window above my bed. A full moon shone through the mottled glass. “And it isn’t even morning yet. You slept for about ten hours.”
“What are you doing here?” I bit my lower lip softly. That hurt, too.
Still awake.
“What’s the last thing that you remember?” Rowan shifted position, and the play of muscles across his chest was nothing less than mouthwatering. I hated to admit this, even to myself, but I’d spent a lot of time thinking about this very situation. Only, in my fantasies I actually knew how Rowan had ended up in my bed. Rowan cleared his throat. “Did you hear me?”
Focus, Elea.
No more ogling handsome mages that you’re somewhat obsessed with. There are far more important things to contemplate. A weight settled onto my shoulders as I remembered what those things were.
Veronique. Ada. Thousands of other Necromancers. All dead.
A knot of grief tightened around my throat. “The last thing I remember, we found a wall of ashes. Most of my people are—” I blinked hard as more memories appeared. “Not all of them are dead. Ada and Veronique may still be somewhere on Royal lands. A few dozen Fantomes remain.” I hunched forward and hugged my elbows. “We fought some of them.”
“That’s right. What else do you remember?” Rowan sat up and began rubbing my back in a gentle rhythm. It helped.
“There were lancets. One touched me.” More than touched, actually.
Harsh memories appeared. I pictured the skeletal hand inside my rib cage. Blood was everywhere. Twisting, I hitched up the fabric of my nightshirt until it came just above my waistline.
My eyes widened as I realized what I’d done. Without so much as a second thought, I’d lifted my shirt before Rowan. Surely, I was still exhausted from my battle with the Fantomes. It wasn’t that I was getting more comfortable around Rowan.
An angry red mark colored my skin where the lancet had attacked. Other than that, I appeared to be perfectly fine. There was only one mage who could do something like that. I looked to Rowan. “Thank you for healing me.”
He exhaled a slow breath. “You passed out after the battle. I had my people sneak you off the mansion grounds and bring you here.”
My eyes widened. “I dreamed that I had returned to the Cloister dormitory. It was so cold. You walked in and—” I winced. “That wasn’t a dream, was it? I basically dragged you into bed, didn’t I?”
“I’m not complaining.” A mischievous gleam settled into his emerald eyes. “I didn’t mind helping you be comfortable.” He leaned in closer until our foreheads touched. “There was so much blood.” His deep voice rattled with fear. “Scared me half to death.”
“You?” I always thought of Rowan as the one person who was impossible to frighten. Even when I was dying in the cave after escaping the Midnight Cloister, he never showed any fear.
“Yes, me.” Rowan leaned back and cupped my face in his hands. His skin was so warm against mine. “The thought of losing you terrifies me, Elea. You’re so strong, in every way. My soul is so much more grounded when I’m around you. For once, I can see something in the future that’s mine and beautiful.”
“So everything you do is for others. Has it always been like that?” I didn’t add the words to be a member of the Imperial family. We’d been finishing each other’s thoughts for a while now.
“My life isn’t my own.” Rowan dropped his hands and leaned back against the headboard. “I live for my people. Always have. You can’t imagine how much I want something that’s mine.” His gaze intensified. “My existence isn’t complete without you.”
My chest warmed at his words. Rowan was sharing a part of his soul with me, and I wanted to give him something in return. “From the first time I saw you, I felt drawn to your strength.”
Rowan raised his brows. “You mean, when I yelled at you in the desert?”
“No, before that. I saw you in a vision. You were calling to the Sire of Souls for help.”
“Ah.” His eyes narrowed. “Do you think the Sire and Lady have something to do with us?”