“Shhh. Okay, okay. Let it out.”
When I can finally calm down enough to get a coherent sentence out, I briefly tell her the whole sordid tale, starting with when I first saw Don at curriculum night and ending with this evening’s fiasco.
“I thought it was just fun, you know? It made me feel giddy. But I never ever would have taken it anywhere. I love Ron and I’m happier than most married people I know. Why would I put any of that at risk just to have a laugh? What is wrong with me?”
“Oh, sweetheart, there’s nothing wrong with you. You’re just mourning your youth.”
Great, my mother’s calling me old. I say as much to her.
“Jennifer Rose, that is not what I said. Of course you’re not old, but you’re also not that twenty-two-year-old girl traipsing through Europe throwing her cat around.”
“Mom!”
“No, listen to me.” She leads me to the kitchen table and pulls out two chairs for us.
“You did it all and had a great time, and don’t ever tell your father this, but I’m glad you had a little fun. We got married right out of high school, and he’s the only man I have ever kissed, let alone … you know.” She looks at her lap.
I let that little overshare sink in for a minute.
“Are you saying you regret only being with Dad?”
“No, I’m saying it’s okay to realize that the really fun part of your life just might be behind you. Be sad that it’s over, and then move on. Those years aren’t coming back, no matter how young a little flirting makes you feel. And believe me, there’s a whole lot of good stuff still to come.”
I look at my mother and try to see her not as my mom, but as a woman. It’s not something we often do as daughters. Then something occurs to me.
“So, did you ever have a little flirtation with someone?”
She gives me a worldly grin. “Now, sweetheart, you don’t think I went to bingo all those years because I loved playing it, do you?”
I crack up at this and continue to laugh until I start crying again. Ugh.
My mom hands me a paper napkin from the holder on the table and waits for me to calm down.
When I do, I ask her to tell me why everyone is here.
“Oh, my goodness. I forgot about them. We should get back in there.”
She holds her hand out for me, the way she used to when I was a child. I happily take it.
“But why are they here?” I ask again.
“You’ll see. It was Ron’s idea.”
At the mention of his name, my stomach does a high dive. I wonder when he’ll be home.
That question is answered as we enter the living room; he’s sitting with my dad, my daughters, Nina, and Garth, quietly waiting for something to happen.
“So, what’s going on?” I say to no one and everyone.
My mother, who has joined my father on the couch by this time, nods to Ron, who nods back; then she stands up and takes a piece of paper out of her bra. Nice, Mom. Way to keep it classy.
“Jennifer, I just want to start by saying we are so proud of you. I mean, let’s face it, you weren’t exactly on the fast track to success after your little trip to Europe.”
That elicits a good laugh from the crowd.
“But you pulled yourself together and have created a beautiful life.”
“Thanks, Mom.” My eyes start to well up again, and so do hers. She hands the paper to my father, sits down, and blows her nose into the tissue that permanently lives in her sleeve.
My father stands and clears his throat.
“We have really enjoyed watching you get yourself back into shape and, honey, you really look terrific. Not that you weren’t always a beauty, but you have a real nice healthy glow these days.”
“Um, thanks, Dad.” Why are they saying all these nice things? My birthday isn’t for, like, two weeks.
Nina goes next.
“Girl, you know how I love to bust you about your training, but I know you’ve really put your heart and soul into it. I wish I had the discipline to go the distance like you have. You’re my hero.” She raises her glass to me in salute.
My eyes are misty with tears that just won’t stop. I can’t believe all the love I’m receiving. It’s too much, considering the emotional tsunami I have already been through today.
“My turn!” Vivs stands up and makes everyone laugh.
“Mom, you are without a doubt one of the most insane people I know. Nobody I know has a mom like you. You taught Laurs and me to be strong, independent women, but you also forced us to learn how to do laundry and cook. I swear I’m the only one of my friends who knows how to sew a button.”
“Well, that’s just shameful,” my mother interjects. The lack of domestic capability among the younger generation really grinds her gears.
“Anyway, we love you and we are really proud of you, no matter what.”
No matter what?
As I’m pondering this last line, Laura takes the wheel.
“You have been the best mother ever. Even when you did things like hit us with your shoe when you were driving—”
“That was one time!” I feel the need to defend myself.
“I know! I’m just saying that even though you lost your temper and were really mean sometimes—”
“Laura, stop talking.” Vivs takes her by the arm and pulls her down.
“She knows I love her,” Laura protests, but remains seated.
Garth stands up beside Nina and gives me that great megawatt smile I remember so well from the first time I met him.
“Jen, you are a rock star. You took a chance on an old has-been trainer like me, and I have enjoyed the last six months so very much. Becoming your friend has just been icing on an already frosted cake.”
“Thanks, Garth, I feel the same way.”
“But here’s the thing.”
Ah! The thing. Finally we get to the thing.
“I don’t think you should attempt a mud run for the next few months.”
I’m surprised I didn’t put this together sooner. I mean, my dad talked about what a nice body I have now. When would that ever come up in a happy-birthday speech?
Everyone is watching to see what my reaction will be. If they had caught me on another night, I might have argued with them, but tonight the fight is all out of me, so I just shrug.
“I don’t really know what to say. I can see you’ve put a lot of thought into this, and clearly you have had meetings behind my back.”
“Just one,” Laura assures me.
I wink at her; then I look straight at Garth.
“Really?”
He smiles sheepishly. “We’ll do this, I promise. I just don’t think you’re ready. You were, believe me. But missing these last three weeks has put you off schedule for the one in April. I’ve told you before, August will be your shining moment.”
“But in the meantime…” Ron stands up. I haven’t been able to make eye contact with him this whole time. “I want you to think about doing the mini event at my store.” His monotone feels like a slap in the face after all the love I’ve been getting.
“You’re doing that event again?”
He nods. “The governor’s office called us last week and asked if we would participate again.”
I look at Garth, who gives me a thumbs-up.