I gripped the steering wheel of my truck and tried to work up the courage to go inside the Calloways’ house and grab my things. It’d been 24 hours since Lilah had walked away from me in the hospital. I’d stood there, trying to wrap my head around her thoughts, but in the end I was no closer to understanding her.
Eventually, I’d left. I’d gone to room 178 and stayed with my dad, listening carefully as the nurses taught me about his home care. He didn’t deserve my attention, but he had no one else. For the next week or two, he’d be bedbound, which meant if he wanted to eat, I had to feed him. If he had to shit, I had to help him. Really, compared to the past few years, nothing was different. He was the child, I was the parent; our roles were finally coming full circle.
The doctors promised my dad would be discharged and ready to go home in a few days, so I wanted to move my stuff back into the house, clean it up, and get settled before then. Every pack of cigarettes was going in the trash and every bottle of alcohol was going down the drain. If I was going to help nurse him back to health, he’d be sober for every excruciating second of my time there.
With that resolution, I finally pushed open the door of my truck and walked toward the Calloways’ front door. I couldn’t sit in their driveway all day. Lilah and I would have to face each other in school, so I might as well get the first awkward encounter over with.
I knocked gently and then walked inside, relieved to find the living room empty save for Harvey. He’d been waiting patiently for me behind the door, but he was a whining, wagging ball of energy. I bent down and let him lick my face, smiling for the first time in two days. His soft whines told me how much he’d missed me. I knew Lilah and Mr. Calloway were taking care of him for me, but it felt better to have him back. He and I were a team. Even when I didn’t have my dad or Lilah, I knew I had Harvey.
“C’mon boy, let’s go get my stuff.”
He barked and wagged his tail, turning circles around my legs as I stood.
There were boxes piled up by the stairs, ten or twelve in total, neatly stacked with my name scribbled on the side of them. I recognized Coach Calloway’s handwriting, and when I stepped closer, I saw he’d stuck a note to the box on top.
Thought I’d help you pack. I’ll come by the house tomorrow and check on you and your dad. Let me know if you need anything or if you change your mind.
- Coach
I crumpled up the note and shoved it into my pocket before picking up the first box. I made quick work of transporting them all to my truck. Harvey followed me back and forth, curious about where we were going. Once I loaded up the last one, I turned to him.
“I just need to check my room,” I said, bending down and rubbing behind his ear.
He was anxious to leave, but I had to make sure Coach Calloway had packed everything. I hadn’t seen my cameras inside any of the boxes and I couldn’t leave without them, even if I wouldn’t have the time to work on them.
I took the stairs two at a time with Harvey at my feet. Lilah’s door was closed, but I ignored it anyway; she wasn’t coming out any time soon. I needed my cameras and she needed her space.
I pushed the door open into my room and bent down to look under the bed. I shoved the comforter aside and spotted my cameras and tools sitting there, forgotten. I pulled out the two boxes, dusted off the tops, and sat back on my heels. A quick scan around the room proved that Coach Calloway had packed up everything else. The room looked just like it had when I’d first moved in. It had never really belonged to me. It was borrowed, just like everything else in my life.
I glanced over at the stack of boxes in the corner and paused on the biggest one on the bottom. It had always held my attention more than the other boxes. It was the one I’d tried to cover with angry pen strokes, but it hadn’t helped. Her name was still there beneath the ink. Elaine. I moved before I realized what I was doing. I deconstructed the stack and ripped the lid off that box, looking for answers in the confines of stale, moldy cardboard. I pushed aside old newspaper clippings and saved birthday cards and then my finger skimmed across the binding of an old book.
I pulled it from the box and turned it over in my hand. It was ancient and fragile. I blew off a layer of dust across the front cover and then flipped it open.
I barely made it two pages in before jumping to my feet.
Lilah.
Chapter Fifty-Seven
Lilah
I was out working in my garden when Chase came to get a few things from his room. I heard his truck rumble into the driveway, but I kept my gaze trained on the plants in front of me. Everything was blooming nicely. In a week’s time, the green beans and squash would be ready to pick and the tomatoes would be falling off their vines. I’d already plucked some of them. They were green and could have done well with another few days on the vine, but I didn't want the squirrels to get to them first. They’d ripen up nicely inside.