"If Libby didn't need me here, I'd be on that plane with you." Graham rummages through my dresser drawer. "I like this one. You should take it."
I turn to see him holding a very small white bikini top in his hand. "I haven't worn that in years. I doubt that I'd fit into it now."
"It's perfect then." He smiles broadly as he fishes the matching bottoms from the depths of the drawer. "There are all kinds of single men in the Hamptons at this time of year. You can dazzle them with your body in this."
"I'll more likely be flashing them my body if I wear that." I nod towards the drawer. "There's a black one piece in there that I'll take."
"Like hell you will," he snaps back. "It's bikinis only. I've seen you naked, Rowan. Damn, you're fine."
I arch a brow as I turn my head to look directly at him. "You've never seen me naked."
"I have," he counters. "You were walking around the apartment in the buff one day when you thought I was out. I saw it all."
I blush from the knowledge that he saw me completely nude. "That makes everything awkward."
He throws back his head in laughter. "It does not. Your body does nothing for me. Nothing."
I reach forward to kiss his forehead. "I really needed this. I'm glad you came home early."
"Me too." He folds a white cardigan before placing it in the small suitcase that's opened on my bed. "After being clit teased like that, you need to blow off some steam."
I smile softly. "Clit teased? Is that what we're going to call it?"
"I call it like I see it." He holds up a peach colored blouse. "Do you want to take this?"
I shudder at the sight of that. "Throw that one in the donation pile. My mother sent me that last year as a birthday gift. I told her once, when I was seven-years-old, that peach was my favorite color. She's never forgotten."
"Moms make it their job to remember things like that." He tosses the shirt onto a small pile of clothes on the floor. "When is she coming to visit? I can't wait to meet her."
"She usually comes around the holidays." I hold up a navy blazer. "Do you think I need to take this?"
"I think you can get away with a skirt and blouse for the meeting or," he begins before he marches across the room to my walk-in closet. "I'd wear this to the meeting if I was you, or if I was a woman."
I glance up at the light blue dress he's holding in his hand. "I like that one. How did you know I had that? I don't think I've worn it since you've moved in."
"I pick up your dry cleaning sometimes." He pulls the dress from the hanger before rolling it neatly and placing it in the suitcase. "I checked out your wardrobe."
"I like that," I whisper. I do like it. I like having someone close who wants to take care of me. It's not that I'm not completely capable of taking care of myself. I am, but the knowledge that someone is there, to pick up my dry cleaning or help me pack, means a lot to me.
"We can talk about Caleb." He doesn't look up from the suitcase. He's busying his hands with moving the articles of clothing around to make more room. "I know it stings."
What happened in Caleb's apartment doesn’t just sting. It bites through to my core. I'd taken the subway back to my place after I'd left his building. I'd texted Ivy first wanting to melt into the arms of my best friend. I needed an outlet and listening to her talk about her family and what's going on in her shop, would have stolen my thoughts away from Caleb. It may have only been a temporary escape, but that's all I need.
She hadn't responded so I'd called Graham who was out for dinner with a friend of Libby's. I'd insisted he not hurry home but when he heard the brittle emotion in my voice, he promised he'd be waiting in our apartment, with chocolate and a shoulder to lean on.
"He wanted me." I feel a blush race over my face when I say the words. "I'm not being egotistical, Graham. I mean he said he wanted to fuck me."
His chin dips up so our eyes meet. "You told him that you wanted him too?"
"I did," I mutter wishing with everything that I am, that I hadn't. "I thought it was my chance to be brutally honest so I put it all out there."
"Put it all out there?" He straightens, resting his hand on his hip. "What exactly did you say to him?"
When I said those intimate words to Caleb it came from a place of desperate want. I'd never once blatantly told a man I wanted to suck his cock. I've never used the word 'fuck' with a man either. I haven't hidden my longing for the men I've been with, but it's always been shielded behind a veil of timidity. The thought of letting all of my inhibitions loose was tempered in the past by the knowledge that I'd have to face the man the next day. With Caleb it's different. I wasn't ashamed of my primal desire for him. I owned it and look what it got me.