Anderson swallowed loudly, wincing when he saw the fear swarm across my face.
My head shook, my jaw trembled, and every fibre of me cried out when horror trickled into my veins. “No. No.”
Anderson rushed to me when a funny keening noise broke from me and the room swam. I couldn’t breathe. Agony tore through my chest when shock froze my lungs.
I tried to think. I couldn’t think. Dates merged in my head, causing chaos as I shook in Anderson’s fierce hold.
“Breathe, Kloe. Come on, breathe.”
His face grew out of focus as my brain struggled with the lack of oxygen.
“Calm down,” he urged, tightening his fingers into the top of my arms.
Closing my eyes, I concentrated on breathing, slowly inhaling and blowing it out. My heart rate was threatening to send me into panic and my rolling stomach offered more nausea.
“Shh,” Anderson whispered softly. He nodded when I secured my gaze on him, concentrating on the intense look in his eyes. He smiled when my breathing started to regulate and my pulse no longer pounded in my ears. “Good girl.”
I lowered my eyes, staring at the floor. “This can’t happen,” I choked out. “I can’t be. I… me and Ben tried for months, years but… nothing.”
“And you just presumed it was you that was at fault.”
I nodded. “Well yeah, after my past… you know.” I shrugged, wincing at my own stupidity. “I haven’t taken birth control since my teens. There didn’t seem any point after Ben, and failing to get pregnant.” I looked at him and grimaced. “I’m sorry. I never…”
Anderson moved his gaze away and stood up, sighing as he crossed his arms over his chest. “This isn’t your fault, Kloe. Hell…” He winced, shaking his head angrily. “And anyway, it could just be a virus.”
I nodded, hoping, praying, that he was right.
He guided me back to the bed. “Sleep. I’ll be back in a while.” Pulling the duvet back over me, he narrowed his eyes. “Red is outside. She won’t let anyone in. Get some rest.”
His soft tone, his worry, his compassion - they were each so different to the Anderson that had walked through my front door mere hours ago. I saw the worry on his face, the hope that also lay in my own eyes. I couldn’t be pregnant. Not like this. Not after this.
“Anderson,” I whispered as he took a step out of the door.
He turned back to me, his eyes finding mine in the dim light of the room.
I licked my dry lips, attempting to find some moisture to form words. “What if…?”
He held my gaze, the gentle side of him staring right back at me. He was scared, no, he was terrified, and the sight of such a powerful emotion in his eyes made my heart weep.
Finally, he lowered his eyes to the floor beside the bed. “Then we deal with it, little wolf.”
He said no more. He just turned and quietly slid the door closed behind him.
ROBBIE STARED AT ME. I could see the horror in his eyes, the pain for me that he knew I also felt.
“So,” he muttered quietly, lowering his eyes from me. “You deal with it. It’s just a quick procedure now…”
“Are you fucking kidding me?”
He flinched at my glare and the fury that spat from my mouth. “Anderson. You can’t… it’s…”
“Impossible?” I finished for him. “Is it?”
I could still see the image of the little plus sign on the test Kloe had done not two hours ago, the cross burnt on the back of my retinas and my soul. Vomit clashed with hope and I couldn’t keep up with the fluctuating rhythm of my heartbeat.
“It’s a baby, Rob! MY baby!”
Shaking his head, he stepped towards me. “But it isn’t. Not yet. It’s just a cell. A blob. It doesn’t have features. It hasn’t even established a character yet.”
He didn’t understand. He couldn’t understand.
“Rob. This is my child. The child that could, and will, change the course of my life. You couldn’t understand, and I don’t expect you to. The future holds nothing but pain for me. Pain and loneliness. I don’t have hopes or aspirations. I can’t even contemplate what is to come. Because I know there’s nothing but nothing. And at the very best, nothing but death and destruction.”
“But this is Kloe,” he reminded me quietly, as though I had forgotten. Like I could ever forget. “What does your future hold with her in it? Alive?”
And that was the problem. And we both knew it.
My soul wouldn’t settle until I had sought revenge for what he had done, and what she had done. Both were more alike than they realised. Both took what they wanted from me and then cast me aside like rubbish. Together they were the final amen in my silent prayer.
I wanted to hurt them. I needed to hurt them.
My soul couldn’t lie down and rest until her agony engulfed me. I wanted to hear her screams puncture my ears; the only sound that would serenade my pain. Her spilled blood could be the only substance to sate my hunger. Yet now, now her screams would contain the tears of my child, and her blood would possess the heartbeat of my own flesh and blood.