"There is," I say and pull a red bandanna out of my back pocket and bend down to face Ian. He stares at me, almost nervously, but I smile, and he relaxes in response. "I'm gonna put this on your eyes. Is that okay with you?"
His eyes automatically dart to Ruby's, and after a thoughtful moment, he nods his head. Trust is everything with this kid. With Ryan, you can just grab him and blindfold his ass. He'll pitch a fit about it, but he won't be distressed. Knowing everything Ian's been through, much less with a man he trusted and looked up to, I can't do the same with him. He needs to trust me so I can help him work through his shit. So when I reach up and put the blindfold around his eyes, I'm talking to him the whole time. Mostly, I'm telling him about Ryan's last birthday when he got us kicked out of the pizza place. That ban lasted for almost an entire month before the owner realized how much pizza the club orders and lifted it for the sake of his business. Still, I can't say it wasn't embarrassing to have my kid break into that machine that's totally rigged but is supposed to give you a chance to grab and win a stuffed animal. Even after I told him to give back the quarters he'd gotten out, he still managed to make it home with almost four bucks in his shoes. I was pretty proud of the little asshole, if I'm being honest.
"What are we doing?" Ruby's biting her lip. She watches me as I stand up and place a hand on Ian's back.
"We're throwing a fucking party here," I say. "It's Ian's birthday, isn't it?"
Her eyes widen to the size of saucers before the tears start. The fucking tears. I pretend not to notice and just shrug off her reaction like it's not a big deal even though I know damn well it is a big deal for her and her son. I just don't like the tears. Thank fuck she has a son and not a daughter. I don't know how I'd handle all the crying.
My steps falter with the thought. She does have a daughter. She also has another son. They're not here, but that doesn't mean they don't exist or matter to her. Ian was old enough when they were born to remember them. I know Ruby talks about them as much as she can so that Ian never feels like they're forgotten or disposable. That's the worst thing, she said, the idea that Ian might think she could just toss a kid aside. She couldn't, but he's a little kid, and he needs to be reminded of that fact and often. I can't give her back the time she's lost, but I'm going to try like hell to make sure she's reunited with them one day. I haven't asked her anything else about the twins since she told me about them. I don't know what to say. Every time I think about that motherfucker who hurt her, I want to kill someone. She begged me to leave it alone, so I have. For now. But the first chance I get, those babies are coming home, and fuck anybody who gets in my way.
"What did you do?" Her voice is a mix of amazement and curiosity.
"Something you were afraid to do," I say and don't meet her eyes. I know why she didn't plan a party for him. She doesn't want to give him something he might not ever get again. But what she doesn't know is that this isn't a one-time deal. This is the first of many we're going to have as a family, and even though she's not ready to admit that yet, I am. Ruby gets my boy in a way no woman ever has. She tolerates me and my shit like nobody else ever could. So fuck her doubts. She's ours.
Looking at my woman, I see the tears clearing from her eyes. I kind of like it, knowing they're happy tears. Feeling a little fucking romantic, I take her hand in mine and give it a squeeze. We walk across the park and over the hill that separates the lot I parked in from the playground where my mom has the party set up. When we get to the top, we stop and I grin to myself at the gasp that escapes my girl.
The trees surrounding the playground have been decorated with balloons. Ma's already got three of the grill stations going with burgers and hot dogs, and the entire club is here. Grady's got his woman here, and she's starting to show, so I know we're going to have a new little fuck running around soon. Chief's daughter, Elle, is on the swings, trying to see who can pump higher with Butch's daughter, Nicole. Across from the crowd of adults is Butch's woman, Sheryl, and their baby, Jeremy. Kid was just barely hatched and he's already got a handful of lost girls losing their shit over him.
"You didn't." Ruby's got her free hand over her mouth, and the fucking tears are back, but I don't care. She's happy, and fuck if that doesn't make my entire goddamn day. It makes riding around in that minivan like a bitch totally worth it.
"You ready, Ian?"
"Yeah," he says with a shout. I remove the blindfold from his eyes and pat him on the back.
"Happy birthday, son."
"No shit?" Ryan's curse earns a slap on the back of his head from Ruby. I have to fight off a laugh.
"No shit," I say and give Ryan and Ian a push toward the playground. "Go. Have fun!"