But it's too late.
I have my Desert Eagle raised and pointing at his face before he fully realizes what's happening. The bullet tears through the left side of his chest. He's on his back now, bleeding out all over the cheap motel carpet. Maybe now they'll replace the filthy shit. I step over what used to be Benny and avoid stepping in the blood as best I can. Esmeralda will fucking kill me if I track blood into the car. When I get to Ruby, she's got her chin raised and her eyes narrowed. Cold, angry, mean, she stares up at me. I tuck my gun away and fish a thick white envelope out of my suit jacket and throw it down next to her. She doesn't even follow the envelope. Her anger is palpable. If looks could kill . . .
"A paramedic's going to be by in a few minutes. He'll patch up the kid. You got enough money there to start over elsewhere." I suck in a deep breath and bend, bringing my face to her level before grabbing the back of her neck. "Now, do what you were fucking told and disappear."
I take in her scent one last time and place my lips to her forehead. It's fucked, I know, but I can't help myself. She's stock still. Even when I release her and walk away, she doesn't move. And I don't look back, because I can't bear to see the hatred in her eyes one more time.
CHAPTER 12
Jim
Fort Bragg, California
July 23, 1997
The school secretary hands over the visitor pass with a warm smile on her face. She makes it a point to say that the school doesn't normally do this, that she's giving me something because--in her words--Ian's such a great kid. Damn straight, lady. My woman's raised a fucking awesome kid, and she's doing a damn good job of giving Ryan the mom he never had.
"You have fun today, Mr. Stone."
"Thanks." I step back and then pause. I've always been a shit parent. I don't even lie to myself about it. My boy would rather stay with a woman he only met a few months ago, and I let him because he deserves her. She's better than me, so much fucking better, and this proves it. Ruby knows their teacher's name. She knows which classroom they're in. She knows everything about those two kids. I'm an idiot.
"Is there something wrong, Mr. Stone?"
"I don't know where I'm going."
"That's okay," she says in a really encouraging voice. I hate that voice. It's the sound of judgment. Like she wants me to feel better about being a fuckup.
"The boys are in Mrs. Rhodes's class." She smiles. I stare at her blankly. She looks around awkwardly before she realizes that means nothing to me and directs me toward their classroom. I've only been to this school a handful of times and, even then, only ever to the office. My boy gets in trouble a lot--or he did. I don't know. I'd have to ask Ruby if he's still getting in trouble. Not that I'm going to ask her that after the shit she laid on me.
It's been a couple weeks since we talked about it. I knew my woman had damage, but the Italian fucking mafia. Jesus Christ. I let that sink in one more time as I walk down the covered hallways of the elementary school, careful to remember the secretary's directions. Down the main corridor, to the second building on the left, third classroom. Clouds move overhead, casting a shadow across the sun's rays. Fuck. Not today. I can't have this shit today. First it'll be overcast, then the sky will break, and finally it'll be pouring goddamn rain and everything I've done will be for nothing.