I fold my arms and lift my chin. “What do you want? I’m in the middle of something.”
He comes closer, eliminating the gap between us, leaning a hand against the wall so that he can box me in. “Just you.” He comes in for a kiss and I move a fraction of an inch, letting him stumble for balance when he hits the wall.
“You sure your wife would be okay with that?” I put a hand on his chest and push him back. Not again. That is a dead end road to heartbreak.
“Don’t be like that, Savannah.” He cups my face and forces me to look back at him. “You’re perfect to me. You’re the one I want.”
“Let me go, Tanner.”
I brush off his advances and go back to my kitchen. Although there might be too many sharp objects in there. Maybe that’s why I choose it as my retreat.
“Anyway, I came here to talk about my contract.”
I snort. “You could have called my office during normal business hours. I can get you my card if you need it.”
“I wanted to talk it through with you now. I know you need me on this, Savy.” I bristle at the nickname. He has no right to that name. “We could be great again. You and me, straight to the top.”
“I have other clients.”
“But not ones with number one songs. I want to help you, Savannah. After Tennessee, I was miserable. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt you.”
“Then why lie to me?”
“Because it came out of nowhere. You stepped into my life, and everything made sense in a way that it hadn’t for a long time.” He walks around my island and comes to stand next to me. Taking my hand in his, he holds it up. “I want you to know I left her. We’re done.”
I look up at him. What? Lacing our fingers together he plants a soft kiss on our joined hands.
“Baby, I’m here to make it up to you. I came to Atlanta to tell you that I left my wife, that I choose you. I want you.”
He left his wife, he chose me. This was what I waited for, wasn’t it? So why don’t I feel good? He wraps his arms around me and I remember for a moment why I fell so fast. Every dream I had after he broke my heart had him coming to my apartment, holding me, telling me I was the only one for him. Tanner is here in my apartment saying everything I ever wanted him to say.
And maybe, if it was six months ago, and I hadn’t started to put back together the pieces of my broken heart, maybe this would be more than the band-aid I always dreamed of. He’s single, he chose me.
But he’s also a liar who cheated on his wife and made a fool of me.
Cash was right—I deserve more than this.
“You’re serious?” I ask. He doesn’t hear the incredulity in my voice. Or at least he’s pretending not to. He thinks because he’s finally here, saying everything I ever wanted him to say and more—he left his wife, he wants me, I was worth it, what we had was real—that I’ll want him, too.
“I’ve missed you. After everything that happened, it was just never the same. You are my muse. Together, me and you, we’ll be so good. I’ll be back writing up a storm, and when my next song hits number one you will be right by my side..”
The air freezes in my lung.
Muse. Music.
“Muse?”
Fuck that shit.
“Every singer’s got one.” Tanner looks down at me, “The person who inspires them. Without you in my life, I’ve been completely blocked. I can’t write without you, Savannah. I need you to do this. Triton, they’re great, but they—they want a new album— a full one. With songs like the one I wrote with you. Together, we can build this dream. I need you.”
I need you. Not I love you.
Not I want to be with you forever come rain or shine and all that jazz. Not I’m so sorry, I was wrong, I fucked up, how can I make it up to you. No, of course not. It’s I need you. Words mean a lot to me as a lawyer. What might seem to be a simple word substitution can entirely change a contract. Need isn’t love, and no matter what you do to it, it never will be.
Tanner Jakes only revolves around one fucking thing: himself.
“Is that why you left your wife? She’s not your muse?”
“No.” He shakes his head. “I left her because I need you. I don’t need her.”
That’s the difference between need and love. Something you need can easily be replaced with something else that fills your need, but love, that’s not replaceable. It’s something you fight for.
He leans in for the kiss and this time, I push him away. No more. How could I possibly walk back into that? All he cares about is himself. I’m just his meal ticket to the Grammys.
“I’ve heard your proposal, and I think it would be best if we discussed this further at my office.” When I push, he backs away, stunned.
“Savannah, I don’t—”
“I’m happy to represent you in legal matters, but we’re done, Tanner. We’ve been done for a long time.”
“Savannah—or do you prefer Savy now?”
“Get out.”