Can't Hardly Breathe (The Original Heartbreakers #4)

On the screen, as a strobe light flashed, a man came up behind Thea, hoping to dance with her. Daniel slammed the laptop shut before he did something stupid. Like break speed records to get to the bar and beat the man to death.

Actually, why not? Releasing a little steam might do him some good. He leaped to his feet and grabbed his keys. Careful not to wake the dogs, he sneaked out of the house. But as soon as he was enclosed in his truck, the engine running, he slammed his fists into the steering wheel, going nowhere fast.

A car pulled up to the curb, and Brock basically fell out of the passenger seat. The driver—a woman—begged him to stay with her, but he shut the door midsentence and headed toward the house, a six-pack in hand.

“Daniel!”

Daniel rolled down the window. “Over here.”

Brock changed directions. He stumbled a bit, but eventually managed to settle into the cab with ease. “Came home to help you.” He lifted the beer. “Here. Drink.”

“I’m trying to sober up.”

“Now isn’t the time for that kind of nonsense. Why did you let Dorothea go, anyway? She’s your preferred vice, yeah?”

“I think she was my salvation.” The words left him before he could think, before he could decide if they were true. Of course, they weren’t. He relied only on himself.

“Then again, I gotta ask. Why did you let her go?”

Good question. One he didn’t want to answer. “Does it matter? You’ll support me, whatever the reason.”

“Do you know me at all? I will never blindly support anyone, not even you and Jude. You make a stupid decision, and I’m going to call you on it. So I ask for the third time. Or is it the sixth? I’ve lost count. Why did you let her go?”

“Because I’m stupid.” He punched the steering wheel so hard the top bent backward. “Because I’ll lose her one day anyway. Either she’ll walk out on me or she’ll die.”

“Uh, hate to break it to you, buddy, but I’m going to die, too. So is Jude and your dad and everyone you know. Did no one tell you death is hereditary? It’s going to happen to all of us at some point or another. None of us are getting off this planet alive.”

Daniel narrowed his eyes at him. “Is this the part where you tell me I need to overlook my fears and focus on the here and now?” Once, he’d proudly boasted about having conquered all his fears. What a fool. “That I need to enjoy life while I can?”

“Hell, no.” Brock finished his beer and crunched the can into a small ball. “Haven’t you heard? Misery loves company, so I happen to like you just the way you are.”

Daniel snorted. “Speaking of miserable company, where’s Jude?”

“Investigating something to do with the bar about to be built across from the Scratching Post.”

He wished his friend would watch over Thea and prevent her from going home with some random guy. She had needs, and she was single. She could do whatever she wanted, with whomever she wanted, and there was nothing Daniel could do about it. “Tell me something to make me feel better about the choice I made,” he said, rubbing his chest. The ache was worse.

“Easy. A woman is a woman is a woman. They are all the same. You’ll meet someone else. Tonight, if you want. I’ve got the number of a real hot—”

“I’m going to stop you there, because you’re an idiot and you’re wrong. A woman isn’t a woman isn’t a woman. They are different.” Thea was unlike any other woman he’d ever known. She was a soothing balm to his wounds. She was sweet to his sour, kind to his grumpy, soft to his hard. She was the light to his dark, and when he was with her, life made sense. He had a purpose.

“Do you love her?” Brock asked.

Love. The word echoed in his mind. Was this love? He hadn’t let himself wonder before. Now he couldn’t stop.

He loved his dad and the dogs, Jude and Brock, but what he felt for Thea was so different. Much more intense. “Maybe. Probably. Lord knows I’ve tried not to.”

“That’s because you’re stubborn like Jude.”

And unhappy. Jude used to whisper a prayer as he’d knelt over his dying brothers and sisters. Right there on the battlefield while enemy fire still rained, he’d held hands and cried, as if every life was precious. He hadn’t prayed or cried since his wife and twins had died. He’d shut down in so many ways.

What would Daniel do if Thea died in a storm?

Actually, she could be hit by a car. Or struck by an illness. Fall to a random act of violence. He could lose her any number of ways, whether they were together or not. So why not spend what time they had left together?

But none of those ways were purposely sought out. And that was the word he couldn’t get past. Purposely.

*

THE NEXT MORNING, Daniel sat outside Style Me Tender as his dad and Anthony played checkers, the dogs running around their table and chairs. The sun was shining brightly. The town had done a good job of cleaning up after the tornado, and the publicity the storm had brought had only helped the economy. People from all over the state and even other states were flooding in for the spring festival, which kicked off tomorrow.

The inn must be overrun. How was Thea handling the excess work? Just fine, if last night was any indication. She hadn’t seemed stressed at all.

His hands fisted.

Virgil sighed wistfully and made his next move on the board.

“Dad,” he said. “Cheer up. Please.” If his heart problems worsened because of this, guilt would kill Daniel. This was what he’d hoped to avoid.

“Thought you’d wise up by now and go get your woman,” Virgil grumbled. “But nooo. I had to go and learn I’d raised a boy so dumb he couldn’t pour piss out of a boot if the instructions were written on the heel.”

Anthony said, “I think he’s remained single because he’s afraid of disappointing you.” His dark eyes landed on Daniel. “You aren’t the only one who watches and learns, kid.”

“Well, he needs to get over it.” Virgil moved a red checker across the board. “I can handle a little disappointment. What I can’t handle is seeing my only son destroy his life.”

“It’s not destroyed,” Daniel grated. Was it? “Dad, you didn’t think I belonged with Thea. Darkness and light can’t coexist or some shit?”

“Who says you and Dorothea can’t both be light? She made you happy. You did the same for her. Why don’t you buck up and deal with it.”

Daniel rubbed his chest. The pangs had been coming more frequently.

He began to pace in front of the table. As minutes ticked by, men and women passed him. No matter their sex, they shook their heads, tsked or whispered about his stupidity.

Broke our sweet Dorothea’s heart, he did.

Damn it! She had broken his heart. Why couldn’t they see that?

The thought brought him to a screeching halt. His heart. The very thing paining him. She had broken it, which meant he had fallen in love with her. Not maybe, not probably, but definitely.

He loved her. Loved her madly, passionately and completely. She had become his everything. His reason for waking up every morning. His reason for smiling. His reason for breathing.

His reason for being.

And yet he’d let her go. He’d practically pushed her away.