Can't Hardly Breathe (The Original Heartbreakers #4)

The tires sprayed mud in every direction as he put the pedal to the metal. The van motored forward, going over divots and debris.

When Daniel was no longer visible in the mirrors, Jazz tried again. “I’m sorry. I know that was hard for you, but you’re getting the better end of the deal. You’re free now. You can move without complication. And you’re going to love working for—”

“Shut your stupid mouth. For once! You and I are never getting back together. For whatever reason, Charity seems to love you. If you feel the same about her, great. Stop messing around and commit to her. That means no more cheating.”

“She cheated on me,” he spat.

Well. His reason for coming to Strawberry Valley finally made sense. He’d hoped to make Charity jealous.

“Cheating speaks of her character flaws, not yours. But the same is true for you. You cheat, you suck. So if you no longer want to make things work with her, cut her loose, don’t leave her dangling. And if you lose your job because of it? So the heck what? Get another one.”

His hands tightened on the wheel, his knuckles quickly losing color. “You don’t understand.”

“Because I don’t have a network job? Screw you. I paid for your career with blood, sweat and tears. And I had a family. A family I lost. I now have a job I’ve grown to love.” She rested her aching head against the back of the seat. “Do you know why I married you, Jazz?”

“Because you loved—”

“No. Because you were the first guy to pay attention to me. My self-esteem was lower than dirt, and I think you knew that. I think you liked that. I did everything you asked, and never tried to impose my will upon yours, because I was too afraid of losing you. But in the end, I lost you anyway, because that’s what fear does. It destroys.”

Daniel had let his fears destroy their relationship.

He’d been right from the beginning. She was going to lose him one way or another.

*

OVER THE ENSUING DAYS, SV residents worked together to clean up the streets and patch the buildings affected by the tornado. Though the storms hadn’t beat a path through the streets, there’d been collateral damage. Even still, plans for the spring festival continued.

“Though Mother Nature is being a royal witch,” Carol had said, “she can’t stop us from having fun.”

What was fun? Dorothea didn’t know anymore. She’d stopped painting her nails; they were devoid of color. A visual reminder of her constant emotional upheaval? No, thanks.

To her consternation, the inn continued to host town meetings about the festival. More and more people were spending the night. She couldn’t keep up with the demand because she had yet to hire a new employee.

She refused to ponder the reasons she’d put the hire on hold. If thoughts were drops of water, the amount of introspection she’d done since dating Daniel could fill an ocean. Enough was enough.

Thankfully, Holly came home from school each day and cleaned any rooms Dorothea hadn’t yet gotten to.

“I’m sorry you’re having to do so much,” the girl had said the first day. “When you fired me, I made it clear to the rest of the town that I’d torment anyone who applied for the job.”

“I have potential employees.” Just need to let go of the hope that—No! No introspection! “But even still...fix it,” Dorothea had snapped.

“I will. Will you forgive me, then? Please.”

“The way you forgave me?”

“I was stupid, but you’re smarter than me.” Tears streamed down her sister’s cheeks. “I have regretted my actions every day.”

Regret was something she still battled, and she sympathized. And dang it, she was softening. Could she never hold on to a good mad? “I’m not ever going to get back together with Jazz. He’s—”

“I know! And I’m glad. He’s an asshole, and you only deserve the best.”

Dorothea had drawn in a breath, slowly exhaled it. The tears she’d kept on lockdown since her breakup with Daniel had finally sprung free. She’d sobbed, and Holly had gathered her close. They’d clung to each other the way they used to do as children.

“I’m sorry,” Holly had said. “I’m so sorry.”

“If you have a problem with me, you come to me. You talk to me.”

“I will.” Holly had tightened her hold. “Always and forever. I promise.”

Always and forever, I’ll love you. Words Dorothea had whispered to her sister the day their father had left, and the girl had cried in her arms. She’d wanted Holly to know she could rely on her, no matter what. “Always and forever,” she had echoed.

Jazz and Charity had left at last, but other news stations had shown up to interview families that had lost vehicles or trailers. But the only reporter anyone was willing to talk to...was Dorothea. Her webpage had gotten a ton of hits. So many, in fact, that the page had crashed. She’d had no idea what to do, had finally broken down and called Jude.

He’d hung up on her after she’d explained the problem, but he’d also fixed the page.

A thousand times Dorothea had picked up her cell to call Daniel, eager to tell him about everything that had occurred and hear his thoughts. Where was he? What was he doing? She hadn’t seen him around. Had he gone back to the city?

She missed him like she would miss her heart or her lungs. Nothing worked properly without him. But nothing would work properly with him, either. With his absence, she’d realized a few more things about herself. Being with a man who always expected the end to come, well, she’d never been able to look forward to the future. She’d had to dread it because nothing had ever been settled, everything up in the air. A wait-and-see situation. Will he or won’t he? Would he or wouldn’t he?

She was tired of tangling with dread. And sadness. And sorrow. If Daniel had ever liked her, even a little, he would have realized his mistake and come crawling back.

One morning, Dorothea convinced herself she’d been too hard on Daniel and texted him. She told him she wanted to see the dogs. They were hers, too! She’d helped pick them out. But he ignored her, because he was done with her.

And that was for the best. He wasn’t good enough for her.

Okay. She was back on the “dislike him” train.

Rather than falling into bed that night, she painted her nails and dragged her sorry butt to the Scratching Post. She needed a distraction. Brock was at a table in back, drinking beer, a woman balanced on his knee.

Dorothea ignored him, staying at the counter with Ryanne and Lyndie.

“You look sad, and I don’t know why. Men suck, and you’re free,” Ryanne said as she wiped down the bar. “I bet Daniel didn’t even meet five of the ten commitments.”

To be fair, he’d met a lot of them. Then the storm had happened.

Lyndie lifted a shot glass. She’d had several drinks already and was well on her way to Drunkville. “Here, here.” She drained the contents, then burped quietly in her hand, her gaze returning to Brock for the hundredth time. “He’s so wrong for me. I mean you, Dorothea. Daniel is so wrong for you.”