Can't Hardly Breathe (The Original Heartbreakers #4)

Like Daniel could really argue with that. He pocketed the phone.

When he arrived at the cemetery, he spotted a few other people visiting deceased loved ones, but everyone was trapped in their own heads. Or their own grief. No one paid anyone else any heed.

Daniel crouched in front of his mother’s tombstone. A beautiful pink-veined marble with a cherub perched at the top. Bonnie Teresa Porter. Beloved wife and mother.

Underneath the years she’d lived, Virgil had carved: The Reason I Breathe.

After she’d died, Virgil had shut down. He’d drunk too much too often and had rarely spoken a word. Once, Daniel had caught him holding a knife to his wrist.

A scarring experience, knowing his dad wanted to die, just to join his wife.

Ultimately, Virgil had cleaned himself up for Daniel’s benefit. But he’d worried so much about keeping his son safe, Daniel had often felt smothered. It was one of the reasons he’d joined the army. So, of course, guilt had followed him. His dad had only wanted to make Daniel happy. What kind of POS abandoned him?

Not me. Not ever again.

“Do you remember Dorothea Mathis, Mom? She grew into an amazing woman.” Over the years, he’d had many conversations with his mom, but Thea was the first girl he’d ever mentioned. He gave a wry laugh. “You’ll be happy to know she kicked my ego in the nuts.”

There was no response, but he was almost certain he felt soft arms wrap around him. His mother may not be here, but he firmly believed her spirit lived on.

“She wants a relationship,” he said. “Full on, nothing held back. But when we end, Dad will be hurt. His heart can’t take much more abuse. I want him happy. I need him happy. And yeah, okay, I know he’d be happier if I got married. But if Thea ever left me, or died, he would shatter.” And so would I.

The arms he felt-but-didn’t-feel tightened around him. He imagined his mom leaning her head against his shoulder, glossy brown hair pinned back, her dark eyes sparkling, and saying, Does your happiness not matter? And why would your Thea leave you?

“Why would she stay?” he asked.

Because you’re a treasure.

He snorted.

All right. Fine. You’re a treasure...but you have a habit of looking back rather than forward. You need a strong kick in your patootie. I have a feeling she’s the girl to give it to you.

“I look back to guard my back. There’s a difference.”

Oh, my baby boy. There really isn’t. Whatever life throws at you, you’ve got to keep walking...running...sprinting forward. You’ve got to love others and yourself. And for goodness’ sake, Daniel, stop expecting the worst and start shooting for the stars.

She’d always told him straight. But then, she’d been a good woman with a good heart, and she’d raised her only son to the best of her ability. She’d wanted him happy the way he wanted his dad happy.

She would have busted his ass for continuing to hurt Thea. And he had hurt her, hadn’t he?

Thea had struggled with self-esteem issues all her life. He knew she still ached over her dad’s dismissal. Had heard the pain in her voice when she’d mentioned him. How much lower she must have fallen when the ex-husband cheated on her. But she’d gotten back up. She’d walked, run and sprinted on. Even now, she charged at life full speed.

And he wanted to hide her away? Like she was a dirty little secret?

She was the treasure, not him, and she deserved better.

Could he give her better?

“I love you, Momma. I’ll come again soon.”

No need. I’m always with you.

He walked home. As he slipped inside, he noted the dogs were quiet—still sleeping? Jude, Brock and his dad were seated in the living room. Shadows rimmed Brock’s eyes, and lines of tension surrounded Jude’s mouth.

“Something wrong?” he asked.

“No, no. I was just explaining to the boys that women don’t wait forever, and if they aren’t careful, someone will come along and snatch up the one they want.” Virgil patted his shoulder. “Want to tell us what kind of beasts you got in your room? They almost busted down the door when I got home.”

At the sound of his voice, both Adonis and Echo barked.

Daniel ignored the hard clench his dad’s words had caused. “Come meet the new members of our family.” He strode down the hall, opened his bedroom door.

Adonis and Echo darted into the hall. Everyone chuckled, even Jude, and a sudden sense of contentment closed around Daniel. Not quite reaching him internally, not yet, but soon. The potential was there.

He just had to figure out his next move with Thea.

“Dad,” he said as the dogs played, “if I wanted to...date...someone...someone like Thea Mathis—”

Virgil’s eyes rounded. Jude and Brock—the bastards—excused themselves.

“I want to point out that I said date. Date her. Not marry her.” Should have stayed quiet. But he was already in the fire. Why not dance in the flames? “I don’t know how long our relationship will last. Maybe a few months, maybe even a year.” His longest relationship had lasted six months. Things had heated up while he was in basic training but had ended soon after he’d first shipped out. “I don’t want you disappointed when things end.”

His dad gave him another pat on the shoulder. “Son, I have a confession to make. I stopped by the inn today and spoke with Carol. She suspects something’s been goin’ on between you and her daughter, and she told me Dorothea is a fragile flower with dark secrets you don’t have the strength to help her carry. Now, I took exception to that. My boy is strong. The strongest. But you have dark secrets of your own, and the two of you, you need light, not more darkness.”

What secrets did Thea have?

The ultrasound photo...

“Thea is strong all on her own,” he said. “She doesn’t need to be carried.”

“That’s good. That’s real good.” Virgil smiled at him. “But I agree with you. About the relationship. With so many secrets between you, the two of you will never last.”

What! His dad, the eternal optimist, thought Daniel would crash and burn?

“I’m worried about you, son. You haven’t been living, and it pains me.”

After all his hard work, everything he’d done to make his dad happy, he’d failed. From day one, he’d failed.

He’d have to do better. He’d keep going forward, as his mother would have wanted, but he’d make a new plan. He’d show his dad he could live—really live—if only for a little while.

He was going to openly date Thea. If she would have him.

*

DOROTHEA PUT THE finishing touches on her outfit. The dress had a large heart cut out of the center to reveal another layer of fabric with black and white stripes and a bow; it accentuated her hourglass figure. At least, she hoped. The waist was drawn tight by a second bow. While one side of the hem reached her knees, the other side fell to her ankles. She wore boots and lacy socks that peeked over the edge.