Callan takes hold of me by the hand and kisses my fingers one at a time. He stops on my ring finger, biting it gently. “I’d marry you tomorrow, bluebird. If you wanted to, we would figure it out.”
I feel giddy. This is a lot to take in in one go. Callan hums softly as he kisses my hand again. “Of course, waiting until after college is probably a good idea,” he says, his eyes crinkling at the corners. “We’d be the worst southern stereotype there is if we showed up to our first class as that married couple from South Carolina.”
“After college it is, then.” I am filled with light. It’s such a strange, unknown sensation to me—to be this happy. I never thought I’d experience the joy of life in the same way everyone does. Not with my father around, anyway. Days of sorrow and sadness, endless, stretching out for as far as I could imagine: that is what I envisioned for my future. Until Callan, that is. Now, I dare to dream. Now, I lay awake at night, excited for what next year holds for the both of us. We’ll be finished with high school and I’ll be an adult. Malcolm won’t have any hold over me anymore. I’ll be free, and I’ll be with Callan.
His hand travels purposefully down my belly, where he meets the lacy band at the top of my panties. He doesn’t go underneath them at first. Instead he moves further down, in between my legs, touching me lightly over the material. I’m already wet, which is kind of embarrassing, but Callan seems to find it a turn on. He growls as he applies pressure, sending waves of heat shooting up through my body. I love when he touches me like this. The more turned on I get, the more possessive and determined he becomes; the same thing happens today, except now I can look him in the eyes as he kisses me. I can see how fiercely he cares about me as he eventually pulls my panties out of the way and pushes a finger deep inside me.
“Oh god. Fuck, Callan.” I pant this, feeling a little light headed. Whenever he pushes inside me, I feel a powerful pressure building up inside me. It feels so good, but I can tell that it will be borderline painful if he pushes any farther. Callan senses my body tense—he must, because he eases off, stroking the pad of his thumb over my clit instead. I’m well acquainted with my body, I’ve touched myself plenty of times, but it’s so different when Callan touches me. It’s more meaningful, more powerful. It drives me insane.
I reach down and take his cock in my hand, slowly working my palm up and down the length of him, squeezing a little. He really seems to enjoy that; he thrusts his hips forward, pushing into my hand, groaning a little, and a thrill of excitement rushes through me. I make him feel just as crazy, by the sounds of things.
Soon we’re both breathing heavily, hands roaming over each other’s bodies as we lose our inhibitions. Callan rocks his hips back, pulling away, which confuses me until he says, “Slow down. Slow. If you don’t, you’re gonna make me come.”
I really want to make him come, but I know that’s not the end goal here. He wants to be inside me. I want him there, too, more than anything, but I’m too shy to instigate that. Thankfully Callan must already know this. He sits up on his knees, rifling through his book bag until he finds what he’s looking for—a condom. He pulls a shiny silver square out of his wallet and rips it open, then he rolls it down onto his cock, watching me the whole time.
“You seem like you’ve done that before,” I say quietly.
“I have. About fifty seven million times. All guys practice, bluebird. Would you still wanna have sex with me if the thing snapped off and hit me in the eye while I was trying to put it on?”
“That would not be sexy.” I laugh, which kills the very last remnants of my anxiety. Callan rolls his eyes, but falls serious a second later.
“I’m not gonna fuck this up, okay?” he says. “This is going to be perfect, I swear.”
I believe him. It already is perfect because it’s me and him, and nothing could ever be wrong with that. He kisses me again, hooking one hand underneath me at the small of my back so he can turn me on my side. We lay on the ground, facing each other, adoring one another, stroking and licking, sucking on each other’s lips, using our teeth. We caress and pet each other until I just can’t take it anymore. My brain seems to quit working altogether. I’m grinding up against Callan when he snaps and climbs up on top of me, guiding himself between my legs.
I wrap my thighs around him, and the whole situation begins to feel very real. This is happening. This is happening right now, and I’m more than okay with it. Callan takes a deep breath and holds me tight in his arms. “You sure?” he rasps.