“Ready?”
I shrug, like this is no big deal. It really is though. I’ve touched him, sure. I’ve felt him grow hard in my hands, marveled at the feel and the smoothness of him, but I’ve never seen him naked in the broad light of day. “Yeah, of course,” I say breezily. My voice warbles, though, ruining my hopes of sounding unfazed. Callan stifles more laughter. He tugs his underwear down and steps out of it, grinning sheepishly. He has a hard on. His erection is huge and standing to attention, almost brushing up against his belly button. “Sorry,” he says. “But, y’know…teenaged guy. Beautiful girl. Kissing and touching. It was bound to happen.”
“Of course. It’s fine.” I’m trying not to stare at his cock in amazement. There’s a very good chance my amazement will look like horror, and I don’t want him to think I’m scared. He’ll get dressed again in an instant and that will be that. “Should I…” I trail off. “I suppose I should take my clothes off too, then,” I say, correcting myself. Asking him what I should do is not sexy. Tina’s reliably informed me that guys love confident women, so that’s who I should be right now. The only problem is I have no idea how to project a confident, sexy woman given that I’ve had zero experiences in that arena.
I disguise the fact that my hands are shaking by moving quickly as I remove my shirt and my denim jean shorts. I hesitate for a second as I fiddle with the clasp for my bra.
“Hey.” Callan steps closer, touching my arm. “Hey, bluebird. Don’t freak out. Look at me.” I do look at him. He’s relaxed, smiling, his skin bathed in sun, his dark hair turned almost caramel by the warm light. “Take a breath. I’m not going anywhere. Unless you want me to, of course.”
I laugh then, my nerves calming a little. I lean my forehead against his bare chest, exhaling deeply in a sigh. “Sorry. You must think I’m a train wreck.”
“A very beautiful train wreck,” he tells me, kissing me on the top of my head. “My wonderful, beautiful train wreck.” He kisses me again, and slowly everything else melts away. I can still feel my nerves fretting away somewhere in the background, but they become easy to ignore. I melt into Callan, lose myself in him. As we kiss, he unhooks my bra and slides the straps over my shoulders, and I’m not worried anymore. I stand up straight, enjoying the sun on my near naked body. The temperature increases a hundred fold when Callan looks down and surveys my chest, though. I can feel myself turning red in the face. My nipples are peaked, tight and sensitive.
Callan looks fascinated by them. He cups my right breast, stooping slowly so that he can take my nipple into his mouth. The warmth is intense and surprising, and it feels so good. I tremble as he strokes his hand over my other breast, pinching and rolling my nipple between his fingers.
“God, Coralie. You’re so fucking perfect. I can’t stand it.” All thoughts of the water and skinny-dipping are forgotten. Callan lays me down on the grass, which feels prickly and dry underneath me, kind of uncomfortable, but I don’t care. He smiles, his eyes dancing a little as he lowers himself down next to me. Funnily, he looks a little nervous himself. He lays his head down on his arm, using it like a pillow, and he watches me, moving his hand slowly up and down my body. “I love you. You know that, don’t you? I love every part of you.” He smiles, nudging my shoulder with the end of his nose. “I love your crazy, weird eyes. I love your non-symmetrical face. I love the way you look at things, trying to figure out how you’re going to paint them. I love the way you hum when you’re trying to concentrate. And I love how you look at me, Coralie.”
“How do I look at you?”
“Like you love me, too. Like there are things about me that make your heart swell in your chest. Like you might love me enough to be with me for the rest of your life.” He takes a lock of my hair and twists it gently around his fingers. “Is that how you feel?” he whispers. “Is that what you want?”
This is the first time he’s spoken about love. It’s been an elusive word between us, but it’s never played on my mind that neither of us has said it. It hasn’t needed saying. I’ve felt it growing stronger and stronger every day. I never doubted for a second that Callan was in love with me, just as I never doubted I was in love with him. I feel a pleasant pressure all over my body as I answer him.
“Yes, that’s how I feel. I love you so much, Callan. I never want to be without you. Do you think we can do it? Do you think we’ll end up being together forever?”