PRESENT DAY - AIRPLANE BOUND FOR LONDON...FIRST CLASS
Of course she is seated right next to me. Why wouldn't she be. My nostrils are overwhelmed with recycled air and her gorgeous scent. Looking around at the navy leather seats in first class I notice most people sleeping, yet having Morgana right next to me keeps me wide awake. I try to focus on the small screen on the back of the headrest in front of me projecting an episode of 30 Rock, but her snores keep distracting me. I want to lean in and rest my head on her shoulder, maybe cup a boob or two, but I can't. Not just because we are in public surrounded by co-workers, but also due to the fact I messed this all up.
Look, I know walking away from her all the times we fooled around in the past was a dick move. To my defense she looks so damn hot all the time. It's as if this woman doesn't know how to not look sexy. I'm picturing her in a potato sac right now and I have a semi. I know, stop shouting at me! My cock has a problem. Maybe there is an anonymous meeting for dicks that Captain Cock can attend. I don't think sex addicts anonymous is right because he only seems to want Morgana. He mainly fantasizes about her vagina, and sometimes her mouth.
I will let you all in on a little secret, when Morgana got fired a few months ago from Mimir when Evaleen walked in on us about to have sex, I missed her. After Morgana told me she lied so I wouldn't get fired it shocked the hell out of me. No one has ever done that for me before. That is when whatever this was between us changed and I knew there was no going back.
When Edgar Mimir called me the following Wednesday to come back to work and I walked into the office to find the smile of a woman I didn't recognize at Morgana's desk, I became irked. My lack of effort to get her back bothered me. I had never been in that situation before, where I had made the mistake and someone else stood up for me. It scared me that she was having that kind of impact on my emotions.
So, when I finally did something to get her back to Mimir, I wanted to keep a respectful distance. Her job is important to her, and I had to make sure I didn't get in the way. The past few weeks have been a challenge for me to remain professional. Captain Cock isn't happy, but he takes it out on my hand at night so he doesn't have it that bad.
When Edgar told me about that online dating thing a month ago I thought I hit the jackpot. I can just focus my attention on another woman. Someone I can keep at a safe distance but enjoy conversations with, perhaps at some point meet and let Captain Cock run wild. When I discovered Sweetcakes I thought she was too good to be true. I was afraid if we exchanged pictures she would be a five hundred pound shut-in who had a sex change that didn't quite take. My mind can wander sometimes. Also, I didn't want anyone to recognize me. There are some shady characters out there more than willing to take advantage of a rich and successful person.
When she suggested exchanging pictures and names I knew it was time to rip the bandage off. Sure I gave her a somewhat false name; hey Ric is only a shortened version of my name. But in case she did turn out to be a man dressed as a woman, I didn't want her to ever find me. Do you know how many Henrik's are in the city of Chicago? Very few.
I couldn't be mad at Morgana for doing the same thing I had done. Perhaps she thought as I did. Morgana is just as rare of a name as Henrik.
So, now I sit here curling my fingers into my palm which is causing some pain only to prevent them from reaching out to her. After getting to really know her online and spending all that time in the office together it's made me realize something, I love her.
Ugh, I hate it when this happens. Not that it has happened a lot. Just when it does the women use me like an old dish towel. They either cheat on me or treat me like crap but expect me jump through hoops for them, or like my mom, laugh when I tell her I love her. I'm not ashamed to admit I am a little afraid of my feelings right now. Things have been great the past five years because I have had no romantic entanglements. The moment my heart and dick glanced at Morgana my life turned into utter chaos.
This can't happen. Our relationship creates too much of a risk. I'm flip flopping. I never flip flop. One minute I want her and believe I'm not complete until I can feel her feathery skin, the next I panic and think about all that might be lost if we pursued this.
Morgana’s snoring has grown louder. God she sounds like a fifty year old man. I turn my gaze to her just as her head rolls onto my shoulder and her glasses fall to her lap. She presses into my arm and starts to curl up on me.
I freeze. Do I shake her off or just...oh God she smells so good. My nose dips to her hair and I inhale.
"Did you just sniff Drake, Payne?"