“I just wanted to stop by the house and get a change of clothes,” She said as she walked in. “Candace here has offered to take me to a spa! Isn’t that nice?”
I nodded at the lady behind her, a brunette lady about Mom’s age with the same nurse-worked-overtime dark circles and weary air about her.
“Candace, meet Beatrix,” Mom extended her hand at me. “Beatrix, Candace.”
I was used to meeting her friends, so I smiled. “Hi.”
“Hello,” Candace grinned. “It’s good to meet you in person. You’re all your mom talks about, you know.”
“Oh, stop.” Mom laughed. “Sometimes I talk about the weather, too! She’s going to Lakecrest, Candace.”
“Yes, yes,” Candace giggled. “I’ve heard it all before. But still, it’s very impressive. You must be so smart, Beatrix. I wish my son was like you – I can barely get him off the couch to do something other than play videogames, let alone get him to study.”
“Tell her where you’re planning to go for college, Bee,” Mom pressed eagerly. It felt a little weird, being made to tell all my plans to this random lady, but I smiled.
“Uh, NYU.”
“Oh wow,” Candace marveled. “Well, I’m sure you’ll get in, if you’re graduating from Lakecrest. Everyone gets in if they go to Lakecrest.”
Mom looked down at her phone. “Crap, we’re going to be late. Okay, sweetie, Candace and I are off. Did your Dad have something to eat?”
I nodded. “I made him a sandwich.”
She swooped over and kissed the top of my head. “Thank you. I’ll see you later. Love you.”
“It was nice meeting you, Bee,” Candace nodded. “Good luck at Lakecrest.”
“Thanks. I love you too, Mom,” I tried, as she closed my door behind her. Their voices faded down the hall, and I exhaled. That whole thing made me feel like a show-horse, or something. It was super awkward. But the night was young, and awkward was apparently the theme of this month of my life.
I decided on jeans and the Wonder Woman t-shirt, and pulled an old green military surplus jacket of Dad's on over it. I dabbed my eyes with my usual eyeliner, and stepped back to take myself in. I definitely just looked like I was going to school. My old public school, not the private one that required a uniform, obviously. But that was fine - if I was just there to keep tabs on the brothers, I didn't want to stand out.
And then Kristin knocked on my door, and I realized I'd never have been able to stand out anyway. She wore a bright blue sleeveless dress, her bronzed shoulders and legs strong and lengthy. Dad looked half-stunned himself when he opened the door. I'd explained to him earlier a friend was picking me up for a sleepover, but now he wasn't going to buy that - not with Kristin all dressed up. I should've thought of that.
"Hey, Kristin," I smiled nervously at her, then tried to look confident for Dad. "Okay, well. I'll be home before noon tomorrow. I'll give you a call if it's later than that."
Dad moved his eyes from me to Kristin, confused.
"There's leftovers in the fridge for lunch," I reminded him. "And you can have the last waffle in the freezer, if you want. I won't be here for breakfast."
Dad averted his eyes from Kristin's brilliant smile and looked at me. "You don't seriously expect me to believe you're going to a sleepover?"
My stomach sank. "Dad, I -"
"She's not," Kristin agreed. "It's a party, Mr. Cruz. But it's a lot smaller than you think, and it's all people I know. I'll look after her, I promise."
Dad looked between us again, then put a hand on my shoulder. Something about his gaze was soft, tired.
"You don't have to lie to me, Bee. I know it's been...tough for you. You've earned a party. Just be safe, alright? Don’t drive anywhere, don’t drink anything anyone gives you. Call me when you're coming home."
My heart swelled, and I threw my arms around his neck and hugged him.
"Thanks, Dad! I promise I'll call."
Kristin and I walked off, and I was so giddy I almost missed her getting into her car - a shiny Prius with that new-car smell. I jumped in the passenger seat, and Kristin amped up the volume on her electronic music and pulled away from the curb.
"Your Dad's pretty cool, huh?" She shouted.
"He really is, sometimes."
"My Dad hates everything I do," She continued. "You're super lucky."
I watched our duplex disappear into the night. If only she knew how sick Dad really was.
"Yeah. I am."
I was super lucky he was still around. I was super lucky I got into Lakecrest at all. But if my luck ran out, if Dad’s pills reacted with his brain chemistry wrong, if his own mind’s illness convinced him life wasn’t worth living anymore -
I dreaded the dark future that sprawled out in my head, so I focused on the music instead. It was happy, upbeat. Kristin smelled even more like vanilla perfume. I didn't put anything except deodorant on. Crap - did I smell bad? I tried to sniff my armpits, but Kristin jammed on her brakes and I nearly smashed my nose into my elbow.
"You idiot!" She shouted at a car running a red light. She inched out into the intersection, huffing. "Some people are so stupid!" She looked at me and smiled. "Not you, though. I bet you drive like a grandma."
"What gave you that impression - was it the jeans? The glasses?"
"The hairdo," Kristin laughed and turned down the music. "Girls with sensible ponytails don't drive like maniacs."
"There's a little saying I'd like to introduce you to called 'don't judge a book by its cover'. I happen to drive like Vin Diesel. On cocaine."
She laughed. "Sure."
We were quiet until she got on the highway.
"So. Mr. Blackthorn managed to rope you in too, huh?" Kristin asked.
"Yeah, I guess."
"He tried to get me to spy on the boys, like, a year ago, but it never worked. Fitz knew what I was up to right away, and Burn never said a single word to me."
"And Wolf?"
She buzzed her lips. "It wasn't gonna happen. Not after what happened with Mark."
Curiosity gnawed at me. "Do you know about what happened between them?"
"Mark and Wolf? Oh, I mean, everybody knows, Bee. Or, at least everybody thinks they know."