The familiar feeling of shame wasted no time hitting Reid like a tidal wave, but along with it came a flood of relief. Tom had covered for him. He didn’t have to tell Jess. He didn’t have to see the disappointment in her eyes. He didn’t have to relive the moments of embarrassment as he struggled to explain the cause of his relapse.
“I’d actually really like to see my parents, if that’s cool with you. I know it’s probably not what you had in mind, but the last time I talked to my mom, she seemed . . . lonely. I’d just like to see her.”
Jess put the car in drive. “Of course. I actually have a few things I need to take care of. Why don’t I drop you off so you can spend some time with them and then text me when you’re ready for me to come get you?”
“You’re the best,” Reid sighed, leaning against the headrest.
The remainder of the drive Jess peppered Reid with questions about the tour. He was all too happy to answer, enjoying the monotony of it all, until the conversation turned to his birthday. His stomach dropped and his mouth went dry at the memory of their last conversation. The conversation itself wasn’t the cause of Reid’s anxiety, it was what her call interrupted. His vision blurred as the memory of kissing Chloe invaded his mind. His pulse pounded as he remembered the silky feel of her lips and the way his muscles tightened from her soft moan when he tugged the silver ring piercing her lip.
With short answers and uncomfortable pauses, Reid played off his behavior by exaggerating his jet lag. He didn’t want to think about kissing Chloe. Thinking about Chloe led to the memory of the last time he saw her, angry and hurt, as she left his dressing room. It led to the memory of the events that followed. On edge and filled with anxiety, Reid wasted no time grabbing his things the moment they pulled up to his parents’ house. With a swift kiss and a promise to call soon, Reid vanished into the safety of his childhood home, fighting the surging guilt of his lies to Jess.
Days passed. Locked away in his old room, the walls finally crumbled. Consumed with relief, Reid succumbed to the riptide of inspiration. He let it suck him under and sweep him away from the world around him. He made excuse after excuse to avoid Jess, never once considering the implications of his actions. He only interacted with his parents and Jess when forced to do so. There was only one person he sought out. Only one person whose silence he didn’t want, yet received time and time again. With a sigh, he typed out a new message and held his breath as he pressed send.
I watched Star Wars today. Any Padawan would’ve listened to Yoda if he’d looked like you.
Five minutes turned to ten then twenty as Reid stared at his phone. Frustrated and weighted with unease, he tossed his phone on the table just as it vibrated. His breath quickened as he snatched it off the table and unlocked the screen. A shaky smile turned up his lips as he read her response.
I have 2 inches of mud and a slimy green substance covering every part of my body. I think I actually am Yoda right now.
He was still on edge, but the relief that came from her response was undeniable.
So you haven’t been ignoring me after all? You just decided to become a swamp creature?
Several minutes passed before she responded. Each second felt like forever.
I needed time to sort things out.
Reid propped his elbow on his thighs and dropped his head. He squeezed his eyes shut and willed his mind not to jump to conclusions. His fingers shook as he typed out a reply.
Is everything okay now?
Yeah. I’ll see you in LA.
Reid fell against the back of the chair and released a heavy breath. Tossing his phone on the desk, he grabbed his notebook. He wasn’t sure why, but the confirmation she would be in LA didn’t make him feel as good as he’d hoped. Something about the tone of her text felt off, distant. Maybe he was just being paranoid. Maybe he was losing his damn mind. Either option was possible. With pen in hand, he moved to his bed and stretched across the mattress. He hesitated a moment before flipping to the page of lyrics he’d written his last night in Devon. Lyrics he couldn’t bring himself to erase.
That girl from Brooklyn stole my heart,
I should have seen it from the start.
I love the way she makes me feel,
You won’t find me singing the blues on Beale.
Over and over, the lyrics looped in his mind. He thought about the first time they met, how she’d gaped at him before putting on her game face and showing him why Brian had so much faith in her. He’d known then that Chloe had the potential to complicate his life, but never in a million years would he have guessed it would be like this. No, this mess, it was all on him.
Suddenly exhausted, he closed his eyes and drifted to sleep, no longer surprised by the purple hue of his dreams. He woke some time later to the sound of his door clicking shut. He blinked, groggy and confused. He thought he had imagined it until he heard hushed voices in the hall.
”Are you all right?” Reid’s mother asked, her voice laced with concern. “You look a little pale.”